A Prescriptive Axe
Item#: XXXX
Containment Class:
Secondary Class:
Disruption Class:
Risk Class:

Special Containment Porcedures: SCP-XXXX is stored inside a velvet lined locker within the low risk Anomalous Object Storage wing. No medical procedures should be conducted with SCP-XXXX, no matter the anomaly's persistence.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a medeival German battle axe, forged sometime in the 16th century. Despite its age, SCP-XXXX has not rusted. SCP-XXXXX is sapient, able to communicate with all personnel in their native languages within a normal speaking range.

SCP-XXXX will attempt to convince any person within speaking range to use it in medical procedures. The exact type of procedure does not appear to be of any importance to the anomaly, as long as it can be used similarily to a scapel. As a battle axe, SCP-XXXX has no properties (anomalous or otherwise) that would make it useful for medical procedures. Attempts to convince it otherwise have failed.

SCP-XXXX was recovered from the Metropolitan Museum of Art after several security guards reported SCP-XXXX attempting to speak to them.

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Dr Baker

<Begin Log, [optional time info]>

Baker: Hello, SCP-XXXX. How are we today?

SCP-XXXX: Eh, can't complain. Got upgraded to a velvet carrying case today, so that's nice. Any update on the whole surgery thing?

Baker: Uh, we're… still working out the kinks on that.1 Why exactly do you want to be used in a procedure, anyways? You're aware that you'd be a huge liability for any such patient?

SCP-XXXX: Uh, just felt like helping people, I guess.

Baker: Do you have any medical knowledge that would be useful? Have you conducted surgery before?

SCP-XXXX: What? I'm an axe, you idiot. How'd you figure that would work out?

Baker: Er, like now? With someone using you as a scalpel. howevery ou were planning for one of our doctors to.

SCP-XXXX: Do you think I'd be asking

Baker: So you're saying your desire to be used is something instinctual? Something that you're unable to control.

SCP-XXXX: God, you people are so literal… no, it's not like that. It's just something I think I'd be really good at, helping others.
Baker: You are aware that as a battle axe, you'd be at best, a less than ideal tool? If you wanted to help people, why not combat? That is what you're designed for, after all.

SCP-XXXX: Well there's these things called guns, if you haven't heard yet. They've kind of made me obsolete.

Baker: …Right. Uh, what's the earliest memory of your life you can recall?

SCP-XXXX: Being forged by Wayland the Smith, from the same steel as Durendal and Joyeuse. He was led by fury for the first two, but peace for me. I suppose that's why I ended up this way.

Baker leans forward, rapidlytaking notes.

Baker: Really? Fascinating.

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<End Log, [optional time info]>

Closing Statement: [Small summary and passage on what transpired afterward]

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