Advertisement Wars
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Olivia flipped through the fashion magazine. She hated fashion — but she had to do *something* to fill the hours spent at her desk waiting on a phone that never rang. Despite this, it was her job to sit here — twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week — just on the off-chance that it did.

Suzan assured her that a whole truckload of catalogs had been shipped, but Olivia wasn't sure. The one guy who *did* call (other than the weird creepy weirdo who kept confusing the number with a sex-line) just kept asking to speak to her manager.

Oliva looked up from her magazine, as she heard a sound she had thought impossible; the phone had rung!

Oliva picked up the receiver. "Thank you for call—"

"The pleasure is mine!" A man interrupts. "Are you tired of anomalous items—"

"Your order, sir?" Olivia asks.

The man laughs. "Oh, I haven't called to order! I've called to change your life!" The man replies. "I figured with all those anomalies at your place, it must be a hassle to handle containment. But worry not, as containment is a problem no longer thanks to the all-new SCP-1800-J! With—"

"You aren't selling me anything. And I didn't worry before you called." She retorts, breaking routine.

"Pricing isn't a problem, as it's only $19.99!"

"What's your game?" Oliva asks, her annoyance apparent. "You clearly know who you called."

“Game?” The man laughs. “I was just trying to be helpful, friend. Shouldn't you be advertising your product?"

Olivia grits her teeth. "Either order or I'm hanging up."

"I think we got off on a bad foot. Perhaps a friendly competition could help us settle our differences." The man offers.

Olivia raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we're both sales-people, you and I. So far you've been so unfriendly. But maybe if I see you're sales-folk side, your true nature will shine." The man proposes cheerfully.

Salesperson? Who did this man have her mistaken for? She just answered the phone and took orders; some stapled together papers was the sales-person of the company.

Olivia takes a deep breath, attempting to exhale her anger. "If I say yes, will you leave me alone?"

The man chuckles. "For now, but our paths will cross at the time of the competition." He reminds.

"What is this competition you speak of anyway?" Olivia asks.

"I'm glad you asked. You know the SCP Foundation? Of course you do! We both sell related items. Whichever of us can sell more of our respective products to the fine folks of the Foundation is declared the winner." He explains.

"Win what?" Oliva inquires. Oliva didn't see a reason for this competition; then again, participating would make this annoyance leave her alone if he kept his side of the promise.

"Now now now my dear, that's a surprise!" He chirps. "Now, I've gotta prepare. Goodbye!" He sing-songs the last part, and the line goes silent. Finally.

Well, now Oliva's boring life was boring and stressful. Great.

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