Ima yeet myself off a building
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4699
Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Uncontained

Special Containment Procedures: At the time of writing SCP-XXXX is uncontained. (See Recovered Log) All sightings of SCP-XXXX are to be reported to MTF-Foxtrot-5, “Wild Goose Chase.” In the event that SCP-XXXX is recovered, it is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment cell. All known instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be incinerated on sight.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 156 cm caucasian female capable of producing hiccups which will reroute all avian flight patterns toward SCP-XXXX. All affected again posses the same hiccup as SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX has no control over their hiccups, the spawnings, or affected avains despite their overly friendly nature toward SCP-XXXX. After being separated from SCP-XXXXX1 or after evading all danger, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will return to their original flight pattern.

Addendum-XXXX-1: On 12/19/24, the Foundation received several reports of massive avian attacks in Coos County, Oregon. After an investigation was launched, several videos and transcripts were recovered involving SCP-XXXX's anomaly. (See Recovered Logs.)

Recovered Log-XXXX-Z:


Date: 6/20/2016


Foreword: The following transcription was recovered from SCP-XXXX's home.


<Begin Log>

00:00:00: A man is standing left of a preacher. A large field is behind them with barking in the distance.

00:00:15: Organ music and chairs being pushed back can be heard; The camera pans over to SCP-XXXX wearing a white dress with a smile on their face.

00:00:45: SCP-XXX is standing in front of the man while the preacher speaks.

00:01:12: The preacher pauses and nods at SCP-XXXX. They reach into their pocket and pull out a paper before reading it.

00:03:23 SCP-XXXX stops and the preacher nods to the man. He pulls out a paper and begins to read.

00:05:40: The man stops and the preacher begins speaking to SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX attempts to say something before being interpreted by a hiccup. Laughter can be heard and SCP-XXXX apologizes. SCP-XXXX straightens her hair and looks up. Screams and hiccuping can be heard as the camera falls. the video feed goes black.

00:06:37: The camera reopens on a scene with SCP-XXXX surrounded by twenty hawks with no one else in site.

<End Log>

Closing Statements: Research into SCP-XXXX's previous fiance, has shown that after the wedding they were charged with counts of intent to commit insurance fraud. All know police reports relating to the incident have reported that there were no geese present.


Recovered Log-XXXX-Z:


Date: 6/20/2016


Foreword: The following transcription was recovered from the home security system of Jackson Aonxy.


<Begin Log>

00:00:00: SCP-XXXX rings the doorbell. They are wearing a black dress and are holding a briefcase.

00:00:25: The door opens up to reveal a young man who greets them with open arms.

00:00:30: He waves them in and SCP-XXX follows them inside.

Camera feed has been switched to the living room.

00:01:12: The man sets her down and get them both drinks before they begin to talk. The man shows them several lotions and product and offers them cash. They request time to think, he obliges and waits.

00:02:15 SCP-XXXX hiccups before excusing themselves.

00:02:40: Hiccuping can be heard and the man looks outside through a window before letting out several expletives.

00:02:57: Eleven geese fly in through an open window and proceed to chase the man.

<End Log>

Closing Statements: Later investigations into Jackson Aonxy has revealed that at that time he was a member of an MLM and was attempting to hire them but they had refused to return to their house after the incident. When local authorities were sent in, there was no noticeable property damage and no geese present.


Audio Log-XXXX-Z

Foreword: The following was recovered from Coos County animal control.

<Begin Log>

Receptionist: Hello this is Cheryl. Thank you for calling Coos County animal control, how may I be of assistance?

SCP-XXXX: Hello, Cheryl, I'm Erin Day, I was just wondering if you could all assist me with a goose problem.

Receptionist: Of course, what's the issue?

SCP-XXXX: Well, uh, I don't exactly know how to put this but, there has been a flock bird following me around? And like this sounds crazy but they just appear after I hiccup and it's all different types of birds but they have the same hiccup as me?
Receptionist: Hiccup?

SCP-XXXX: Yes, so like for an example, I was biking last week when I hiccuped and the whole flock flew in just a couple meters in front of me. I swerved and ended up in a ditch and they fuckin laid all around me.

Receptionist: and they just laid there? Were they aggressive towards you or anyone else? And what kinda birds were in there?

SCP-XXXX: Others yes, they seem to be like a clingy ex to me. And urm, I guess pigeons, a couple geese, a hawk. I think that's all.

Receptionist: Uh-huh, and so all of them were together?
SCP-XXXX: Yes all in one big flock.

Receptionist: I'm right now looking through recent reports, it appears as if there have been no know escapees from local farms. I've also looked through the files and see that there have no confirmed reports of any sorta massive multi-species flocks that hiccup.

SCP-XXXX: There has been, what about the wedding

Receptionist: There was no sighting besides ten people… Is this a prank you're pulling?

SCP-XXXX: What?

Receptionist: All reports of this bird pandemic have all been surrounding you and your affiliates.

SCP-XXXX: Yes because the birds follow me I'm telling you that

Receptionist: Listen, Miss Day. We don't have time to deal with a wild goose chase, we have actually important things to do here.

SCP-XXXX: But, this is serious, you need to list-

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Following the call SCP-XXXX had called several more times until their number was blocked.

Recovered Logs-XXXX-z:


Date: 6/20/2019


Foreword:


<Begin Log>

13:04:30: SCP-XXXX is shown walking on a bridge before they stop and look out.

13:04:45: They climb over the railing.

13:04:50: Four cars stop and someone walks up to SCP-XXXX asking them to step down.

13:05:30: SCP-XXXX begins to violently shake their head before jumping off of the bridge.

13:05:35: A hiccup can be heard a flock of various avains can be seen rising up out of the water.

14:06:30: Foundation personnel arrive on the incident site.

14:07:04: MTF-Foxtrot-5 arrive and attempt to retrieve SCP-XXXX.

14:30:15: Foxtrot-5 intercepts SCP-XXXX when thirty woodpeckers fly towards the propellers of the helicopter. Gun fire succesfully stopped twenty instances but, had not stopped the rest of the instance.

14:30:30: MTF-Foxtrot-5 is forced to make an emergency landing as SCP-XXXX continues retreating.

<End Log>

Closing Statements: Following the emeregency landing of Foxtrot-5, radar equpiment didn't pick up SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX was declared uncontained until she is recovered.


——————

Geese saves a guy from a hiccup
Focus on the geese, not the hiccups which spawn them-Jade
So essentially he was always free and the final incident is him throwing himself off of a building
Dr. Aers meme man- “have the Foundation send out an aircraft to catch up and retrieve geese-man but the geese protect him”
Hiccup geese
God I hate using mobile

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