Alliteration Abbey
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-1337-EX

Object Class: Explained

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1337 is mandated to be managed by Mobile Task Force Omega-42 ("Alliteration Annilhators").

SCP-1337-EX has been successfully neutralized. See Addendum-1337-EX-2.

Description: SCP-1337-EX suffuses over a centralized location in the city of Cincinnati with an anomalous affliction that induces an inclination to insert alliteration across all conceivable conversations and detailed documentation.

SCP-1337-EX's properties perpetuate proportionally to the amount of people present in a particular populace.

Discovery: SCP-1337-EX's effects emanated from a congregation of parishioners in the Heavenly Holy Home of His Highest Hymnal.



DATE: 4/20/2018

NOTE: Researcher Ronald Richards rendezvoused with Pastor Patrick Paul for the purpose of investigating the infectious illness that incured added alliterative appeal.


<Richards enters the establishment, immediately interrupting the saintly sermon.>

Richards: Hello, Pastor. I apologize for interrupting your prayer, but I've received reports of strange occurrences originating from this church.

<Noticing Richards, the parishioners pause their prayer.>

Paul: Hail, humble human. Speak so that I may successfully satiate your coveted curiosity with courtesy.

Richards: Oh, that's…the…anomaly…um, okay, why, exactly, are you all speaking in alliterations? That just seems so inconvenient.

<Paul promptly ponders this question for a moment.>

Paul: Because our glorious God guided us by gifting us the greatness that gilds our gums with added alliterative appeal! What choice do we have but to hum His heavenly hymns via application of aforementioned added alliterative appeal? Amen!

The Congregation: Amen!

Richards: …okay, I think I know what's happening here.1

Paul: Come closer, curious child. Prithee, my pal of poor pallor, grace me with your God-given name.

Richards: P-poor pallor? What are you- whatever, it's Ronald Richards.

<Paul sighs, smiles, looks upwards and shudders in delight, his eyes closed in belated bliss.>

Paul: …Good. Another acolyte to add to our fantastic family. Praise the power that perpetuates prosperity to we pitiful people!

The Congregation: Praise!

Richards: …well, this was definitely an interesting experience. Thank you for your time, Pastor.

<Richards rapidly retreats from Pastor Paul Patricks and exits the establishment.>



In an attempt to neutralize SCP-1337-EX, Researcher Ronald Richards requested an expeditious enactment of amnesticization to all members of the congregation.

Immediately afterwards, all alliterations subsequently ceased.

Foundation psychics found that SCP-1337-EX was an inconsequential incidence of hysteria.

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