Anomalous Safety and Health
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-4394

Object Class: Keter Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4394 instances should be reported to local site security upon manifestation and detained. Efforts to neutralize SCP-4394 are undergoing testing at Site-88.

Foundation sites are to continue running as instructed. In the event of SCP-4394 manifestations, their suggestions are to be noted and referred to the local Site Director for approval.

Description: SCP-4394 is an unknown number of adult humanoids. Appearance, gender, and ethnicity vary with each instance, but all are dressed in business-casual clothing with a yellow safety helmet and a reflective vest.

SCP-4394 instances manifest within Foundation sites, claiming to be from an "Anomalous Safety and Health Agency." an organization that appears to claim oversight on the working conditions of Foundation sites. Instances will report to the Site Director, and then carry out an inspection of the site in question, checking all containment cells at the location. SCP-4394 will note any violations found and report them to the Director, requesting that they be fixed immediately.

If an instance is killed, subdued or otherwise prevented from attempting its inspection, the instance will vanish.

A letter will appear in the Site Director's internal mailbox, explaining that a fine ( around 120,000.00 to 600,000.00 of the appropriate region's currency) has been deducted from the site's funds for failure to comply with a workplace inspection. The same charge appears to be applied if violations found by instances are not corrected in a timely manner.

Whether the inspection is successful or not, instances will continue to appear at sites no later than one month after the initial manifestation.

Discovery: The first manifestation of SCP-4394 occurred at Site-23 on 08/12/20██, as Site Director Nguyen was conducting a meeting.

<Begin Log>

Nguyen: So we have three new anomalies arriving later this week. If everyone can open up their folders, I have some-

SCP-4394-01 manifests outside Nguyen's office, knocking on the door.

Nguyen: Seriously? We have a meeting- whatever. Come in!

SCP-4394-01: Hi, are you Director Anita Nguyen?

Nguyen: Yes, and you're interrupting a very important meeting. What do you want?

SCP-4394-01: I'm Robert Gleeson1, with ASHA. Here for my inspection. Any chance someone can show me to SCP-075?

Nguyen: …I'm sorry, what? Which site are you with?

SCP-4394-01: I'm with the Anomalous Safety and Health Agency. Got an inspection to carry out?

Nguyen: Alright, this has got to be the stupidest prank I've ever seen. Get the hell out of my office.

SCP-4394-01: Okay then, guess I'll find my own way over. I'll drop by when I'm done.

SCP-4394-01 leaves.

Nguyen: Whatever. I don't suppose anyone recognized him, by the way? Someone from Records, or a task force member?

Bridge: No one I recognized. And one of my task forces would know better than to interrupt a meeting I'm having with the Director.

Nguyen: Well that doesn't make sense, who is he then? If he's not from here, then-

Nguyen: Oh fuck. Someone call security, NOW!

<End Log>

CCTV footage revealed SCP-4394-01 making its way to the containment cell. HCML supervisor Kirsten Briggs was on duty in the observational room at the time.

<Begin Log>

Briggs: Have we met before?

SCP-4394-01 Sorry, no. I'm Robert Gleeson. With the Anomalous Health and Safety Agency. You're the HCML supervisor, correct? Maybe you can help me with this.

Briggs? Yes. I'm sorry, who sent you here again? Is this a new Ethics Committee thing?

SCP-4394: So I see you've been treating its chamber with level 4 corrosion shielding2. How often is this reapplied?

Briggs: Uh, once every six months. Same as the container, but spaced out to prevent any sudden structural failure. Humidity is strictly controlled during maintenance periods to prevent any type of breach.

SCP-4394-01 takes notes on its clipboard

SCP-4394-01: I see. How many breaches have there been in the past year?

Briggs: Well only one, it was just a- sorry I think I must've missed it, which department are you from?

SCP-4394-01: Oh, I'm not with the Foundation, I'm with ASHA. Can you sign here and here?

Briggs: Uh… Sure? Think I have a pen somewhere…

Security forces enter the observational chamber.

Captain Walker: Doctor Briggs, step away from the intruder!

Briggs: Wait what's going on-

Walker: You, drop what you're holding and come with me-

<End Log>

SCP-4394-01 was initially deemed as an intruder and placed in a high-security holding cell to be interrogated and processed. However, security cameras in the cell showed that SCP-4394-01 demanifested two hours after apprehension. Briggs was placed on a one-month suspension for sharing classified information with an unauthorized source.

The next day, a letter was found in Director Nguyen's internal mailbox.

Dear Site Director Anita Nguyen,

If you're receiving this letter, an inspection was unable to be carried out at your facility or facilities. A small fine of 545,000.00 has been placed on your facility's or facilities' account for noncompliance with the inspection. A follow-up inspection will be conducted later this month.

Failure to comply with further inspections may result in additional fines and/or the possibility of criminal penalties.

Thomas Gillenbrand
ASHA Executive Director

4394-09/01/20██: Following repeated financial drain of Foundation facilities due to manifestation events, SCP-4394 has been scheduled for decommissioning. Testing is currently underway.

Test 1-4394
Action Taken: All Foundation sites were incorporated into a sovereign country, recognized by 56 allied world governments. A constitution based on the employee handbook was written and signed into law by the O5 Council.
Result: Unsuccessful. SCP-4394 instances continued to appear at sites and claim oversight over containment procedures.

Test 18-4394
Action Taken: A "Foundation Safety and Health" agency was created as an independent entity from Foundation command, charged with overseeing all Foundation containment procedures.
Result: Unsuccessful. SCP-4394 instances continued to appear at sites and ignored all claims of jurisdiction by the FSH.

Test 35-4394
Action Taken: The temporary dissolution of the Foundation.
Result: Unsuccessful.

Addendum: On 13/03/20██, following unsuccessful containment of SCP-4394, the O5 Council voted to reclassify the anomaly as Thaumiel.




To SCP-4394's Containment Staff:

Attempts to neutralize SCP-4394 have failed. We've tried incorporating the Foundation into its own sovereign nation, reclassifying it as a non-profit agency and even dissolving the Foundation temporarily, to the result of nothing but a monstrous deficit. Whatever SCP-4394 is, all attempts at stopping it has failed. It appears the only way of appeasing it is to follow its demands.

Here's the peculiar detail: SCP-4394's suggestions, as far as we can tell, are actually helpful. Containment breaches have fallen 40% at sites where its requests have been followed. They can point out failures we've never noticed.

Some of you may feel uncomfortable with throwing our hands up and letting an anomaly do as it pleases. I'm not entirely thrilled about it myself. But the Foundation has an obligation to the world to contain anomalies as best as we can, which is something we can't do when we're bankrupt. This reclassification serves the smaller goal of containment of SCP-4394, while allowing us to run as an organization interrupted. The Foundation serves humanity, not ourselves.

- O5-12.

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