Bear President

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Benjamin_Harrison,_head_and_shoulders_bw_photo,_1896.jpg#mw-jump-to-license

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Benjamin_Harrisons_House_NRHP_66000010.jpg

Name: Does Benjamin Harrison Shit In The Oval Office?

Tags: _image antimemetic biological building cadaver historical humanoid infohazard mind-affecting paradox scp thaumiel ursine

Critters: MaliceAforethought TheJonyMyster

DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS CONFUSED

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VERSION 1

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

The following file previously required Level 3/XXXX access, but has been declassified by RAISA due to its self-concealment within the public consciousness and general lack of anomalous properties. It has also been proposed that the following document contains an unknown infohazard, although these claims have not been verified.

— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA

SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Ticonderoga

Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-XXXX’s relative obscurity within the general consciousness and the current inability for most individuals to recognize its anomalous effects, it has been determined that attempting to fully expunge all knowledge pertaining to SCP-XXXX would be detrimental to its containment. As such, the containment and investigation of SCP-XXXX has been designated to the Department of Miscommunications. Several requests to reclassify or cease the continued containment of SCP-XXXX are currently pending.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the preserved corpse of Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd President of the United States. By all conceivable measures, SCP-XXXX should not be human. Despite possessing several unusual qualities such as a body weight of 287 kilograms, a short brown snout, and the majority of its body being covered in black fur, SCP-XXXX is a human. SCP-XXXX is unable to be perceived or thought of as anything other than a human.¹ This includes biological aspects, actions taken prior to death, and psychological traits. SCP-XXXX and information pertaining to it are instead thought of as fairly unremarkable, with it being widely considered the least memorable United States President.

Discussions involving what could be considered unusual traits of SCP-XXXX or topics pertaining to them will be preceded by the speaker stating that SCP-XXXX is, in no uncertain terms, a human. Listeners will disregard the odd nature of this statement, unanimously agreeing with the speaker and continue the discussion.² Individuals particularly resistant against infohazardous properties have been able to identify inconsistent details regarding SCP-XXXX’s life, but are still unable to identify SCP-XXXX as anything other than human, which it is. Discovered inconsistencies include:

SCP-XXXX being the grandson of William Henry Harrison,³ despite no record of William ever conceiving children existing.
The meeting of its wife while attending Farmer’s College in Ohio, despite records claiming that he had never had any formal schooling.
Its campaign to become the governor of Indiana in 1872, despite being hospitalized for several months due to a hunting accident.
Its authorization of the first forest reserve, despite having lived in the authorized area prior to his election.
Its claims to follow a religious practice Presbyterianism, despite engaging in practices commonly associated with various sects of Proto-Sarkicism such as the regular consumption of raw meat and cannibalism.
A lack of evidence supporting the existence of SCP-XXXX following its presidency.

Investigations into the validity of these discrepancies have yielded unremarkable results. Following a general lack of Foundation interest in SCP-XXXX, further investigation into these discrepancies has been temporarily halted.

VERSION 2

SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Explained

Special Containment Procedures: No containment is required for SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the preserved corpse of Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd President of the United States. SCP-XXXX is entirely non-anomalous. SCP-XXXX’s physiology is entirely consistent with that of SCP-XXXX. No records of SCP-XXXX engaging in anomalous activity during its lifetime have been discovered. No further investigation of the matters of SCP-XXXX pertaining to the Foundation are necessary.

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Connecting to SCPSYSTEM…

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ACCESS GRANTED

Site-176

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-XXXX’s relative obscurity within the general consciousness and the current inability of individuals to recognize its anomalous effects, it has been determined that attempting to fully expunge all knowledge pertaining to SCP-XXXX would be detrimental to its containment. As such, the containment and investigation of SCP-XXXX has been assigned to the Department of Miscommunications. Information pertaining to SCP-XXXX’s antimemetic effects has been restricted to individuals with Level 3/XXXX access or higher.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the preserved corpse of Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd President of the United States. By all conceivable measures, SCP-XXXX should not be a human. Despite possessing several unusual qualities such as a body weight of 287 kilograms, a long snout, and shaggy black fur, SCP-XXXX is perceived as human. When not aware of its anomalous nature, SCP-XXXX cannot be perceived or thought of as anything other than a human. This includes biological aspects, actions taken prior to death, and personality traits. SCP-XXXX and information pertaining to it are instead thought of as fairly unremarkable, with illegal or immoral actions attributed to SCP-XXXX being dismissed as average behavior. This only occurs with factual information pertaining to SCP-XXXX, as falsified information is immediately identified and disregarded.

When aware of its anomalous nature, individuals perceive SCP-XXXX as an unidentifiable quadrupedal mammal. Individual traits of SCP-XXXX are able to be identified, but these traits are unable to be collectively attributed to a specific organism. It is currently believed that SCP-XXXX possesses an antimemetic disassociation effect suppressing knowledge of its actual species. Researchers within the Department of Miscommunications have been able to identify SCP-XXXX as a possible member of the Arctoidea infraorder. DNA analysis has shown SCP-XXXX being a relative of the Otariidae family, although these results are currently under debate as SCP-XXXX shows traits not suitable for marine lifestyles, such as large plantigrade paws and small rounded ears.

Documented accounts of SCP-XXXX’s life have provided conflicting details of ranging importance. Discovered inconsistencies include:

SCP-XXXX being the grandson of William Henry Harrison,⁴ despite there existing no record of William ever conceiving children.
The meeting of SCP-XXXX’s wife while attending Farmer’s College in Ohio, despite records claiming that it has never had any formal schooling.
SCP-XXXX’s campaign to become the governor of Indiana in 1872, despite being hospitalized for several months due to a hunting accident.
SCP-XXXX’s authorization of the first forest reserve, despite having lived in the authorized area prior to his election.
SCP-XXXX’s claims to follow a religious practice Presbyterianism, despite engaging in practices commonly associated with various sects of Proto-Sarkicism such as the regular consumption of raw meat and cannibalism.
A lack of evidence supporting the continued conceptual existence of SCP-XXXX following its presidency.

As investigations into the validity of these discrepancies have provided conflicting results, further investigation into the source of these discrepancies has been temporarily halted.

Addendum: Following extensive investigations into the limits of SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties, the Department of Miscommunications proposed that locations heavily associated with SCP-XXXX could be utilized by the Foundation due to their antimemetic effect providing natural concealment. After several revisions, the proposal was approved for implementation. Several affected locations were easily acquired by the Foundation as many of them had been forgotten or neglected by their respective owners. Currently, nine SCP-XXXX affected locations are being utilized by the Foundation, including the housing of Site-176 and the suppression of SCP-████’s highly infectious memetic properties.

A proposal with the goal of identifying and locating suspected living relatives of SCP-XXXX for possible Foundation utilization is currently pending approval.

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page revision: 55, last edited: 26 Aug 2020 01:17

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KaktusKontainer

What, exactly, are you trying to point out as bad behaviour here?

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION