Billith's Codebox

Item #: SCP-990-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Currently no containment measures for SCP-990-J have been devised, and, due to extensive budget cuts, we can no longer keep paying personnel to come up with ideas. All suggestions are welcome1, however, do not expect any sort of raise or recognition your efforts.

Also this may not be the best place to put this but, while we're on the subject of money, we're going to have to limit everyone in Site-19 to two cups of coffee per day. You seriously do not realize how much we spend per quarter on Folgers. It's appalling.2

Description: SCP-990-J is the designation for a human male dressed in Tommy Bahama-brand clothing that appears to Foundation personnel through dreams3. So far, no Foundation personnel have encountered SCP-990-J in the real world; if he corresponds to an actual human being, we have yet to find him, and because of the aforementioned budget cuts, we probably won't find him.

SCP-990-J has been appearing to Foundation personnel since 1993456 but his existence as an anomalous entity did not come to light until 2004, when the Foundation Human Resources Department responded to the original tickets submitted a decade prior. The entity did not receive official classification until the events of Incident 990-1.

Incident Log 990-1:

Edward J. ██████, a Level I junior research technician working in the Site-19 anomalous entity intake ward, reportedly failed to clock out for his unpaid lunch on 10/21/2005, leading to a formal audit the following day.

Camera footage of ██████ revealed he had fallen asleep during this period, yet did not possess any knowledge of having done so, insisting he had spent that time doing intake of an entity, proceeding to transcribe his conversation with SCP-990-J for use as evidence in the audit. Following the conclusion of said audit, this transcript should be available below for personnel to read. UPDATE 10/23/2005: As per majority vote of the O5 council, ██████ will be allowed to retain his wages for time spent asleep, on the grounds that he was under the influence of anomalous phenomena at the time.Way to go, Eddy! Fight the system!

Transcript 990-1

██████: Okay, so, welcome to Site-19. My name is Edward, I'm a junior technician here, and my job right now is to get some basic information from you and answer any questions you might have about what you're going through as you transition into long-term living here at 19.

SCP-990-J: Oh, so like an interview?

██████: Yeah, more or less.

SCP-990-J: Cool, cool, sounds good to me.

██████: Alright, please state your name.

SCP-990-J: Uhhh, what about Bobby?

██████: Bobby? Is that your name?

SCP-990-J: Yeah. No, wait, how about Phil? Is Phil taken?

██████: Taken? That's not how names work-

SCP-990-J: You're right, Bobby is better, can I go back to Bobby?

██████: Bobby it is, then.

SCP-990-J: You know what, you're gonna hate me but I don't think I'm feeling Bobby anymore. I said it over and over and now it doesn't sound like a real name anymore. Just pick something for me, I'm indecisive.

██████: I literally can't progress to the next page until I put something in the field for "name".

██████: I'm going to put "Tommy Bahama" because of your shirt.

SCP-990-J: [laughs for fifteen seconds]

██████: It really wasn't that funny.

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