Boba Roe
rating: 0+x
Item#: 5579
Containment Class:
Secondary Class:
Disruption Class:
Risk Class:


April 3rd, 2010. Examples of SCP-5579 in it's most infectious vehicle to date.

Special Containment Procedures: Project "Bitter Yuca" is currently underway breeding dominant strains of Cassava1 toxic to SCP-5579. In the unlikely event the general population discovers SCP-5579, a UO-Class "First Contact" suppression campaign has been devised.

Description: SCP-5579 is a parasitic alien life-form present in, and responsible for, all modern forms of tapioca.

Historically, the common shrub M. esculenta subspecies flabellifolia possessed thin, barely edible root structures until 4,500 BCE, when a variant strain spontaneously emerged. This new subspecies produced thick, starchy tubers rich in carbohydrates, and quickly become a staple-food for the developing world. These roots also served as an ideal, deliberate infection vehicle for SCP-5579.


March 15th, 2005. Cassava root, laden with dormant colonies of SCP-5579.

SCP-5579 functions similarly to a bacterial colony, expertly mimicking the polysaccharide chains present in plant starch. This level of chemical camouflage is so advanced, in fact, that Foundation scientists have only recently identified it's existence through comparative study. In it's dormancy, SCP-5579 is resistant to extreme temperatures and high-pressure environments - all historical methods of processing cassava starch have left the parasite unharmed. Contemporary forms of Tapioca have only enhanced potential colony growth; Tapioca Pearls or "Boba" create multiple opportunities for the parasite to find a latching-point, similar to of egg-cell fertilization. Sweet and milk teas2 provide a high-calorie liquid medium, increasing growth factors and ease of consumption. Yet despite all modern advantages, SCP-5579 has still failed to form a lasting parasitic relationship with any terrestrial species.

In contrast to it's extreme resilience in dormancy, SCP-5579 is nearly benign in active parasitism. When consumed, this organism quickly succumbs to the hosts digestive processes, immune system response, or simple chemical tolerance. Even in common garden snails, growth is halted by the shedding of thin mucus layers. The human digestive system is especially effective at neutralizing the parasite, which only survives an estimated 0.0001% of all cases3. In such an event, SCP-5579 will, at worst, cause mild stomach ulcers.

Testing has concluded that SCP-5579 functions at an accelerated timescale incompatible with terrestrial species. Even when given a vast quantities of nutrient-rich slurry in ideal lab conditions, SCP-5579 expands too quickly to maintain it's own metabolic growth, resulting a self-cannibalistic breakdown or "burn out".

While SCP-5579 has been unobtrusive and undetected for nearly ten thousand years, project "Bitter Starch" is still considered a priority in the rare chance SCP-5579 finally adapts to terrestrial life.

Addendum - 2010/06/10: Concentrated energy emissions were detected from galaxy MACS0647-JD. Embedded assets within global listening posts intercepted this transmission, which contained two messages played in 6529 terrestrial languages4. Despite the impressive breadth of translation, the wording of each transmission was nearly incoherent, and have been edited for clarity:

General Notice - Creatures of 9009064.
You have failed. You cannot sustain our young. Weep. Burrow. Die without purpose.

Special notice - Dominants of 9009064.
You are monsters. You are full of sharp rocks and boiling acid. Of the ten million life worlds, you are the most disgusting. We are glad we cannot feed from your filth.
You are children of a whore galaxy.


July 15th, 2010. Domestic Cassava, no SCP-5579 detected.

Addendum - 2010/07/02: All global SCP-5579 colonies have died off. The plant itself appears unaffected, continuing to produce large starchy tubers. A small quantity of parasite-laden tapioca pearls have survived this extinction, shielded within Site-45's deep-freeze storage.

Given the potential shelf-life of SCP-5579, this anomaly will be considered neutralized as of June 18th, 2060.

Sippin' on my bubble tea
Oh I was catching up with my homies
Aw no when suddenly she stood next to me
I couldn't help myself with this shorty

I said I just wanna kick it, sit back and just chill with
You and me we just get along
It's low-key passion, mutual attraction
Baby you and me we just get along

Thanks to: ROUNDERHOUSE, AbsentmindedNihilist, MalyceGraves, Sevatar, and Crusty_Jon.
All images have been taken from Wikicommons, and are CC complaint.

I've always hated tapioca. I'm very much a texture-eater, and those little baubles have always looked and felt like slimy little alien eggs to me. My partner, however, loves them, and always makes a point to noisily slurp her bubble tea around me. You can guess what inspired this article.

As always, thank you for reading.

Side-note. This Iris Black isn't intended to mirror the Iris Black in other MC&D articles. She's my interpretation of the character - someone older, someone different. Marshall, Carter, and Black are all fantastic characters, but I can never seem to write within the lines of another authors narrative. That said, I whole heatedly encourage you to explore the MC&D Canon, and the many fantastic articles and tales within.


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