Blind to the Big Surprise

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Two young men stood before an old oak door. This one had no runic bindings, no channels for sacrificial blood, no locks wrought from meteoric iron by the wise men of ages long ago; but to these young men, what lay behind this door was more frightening than whatever might be lurking beyond that other door, six stories below.

"I can't believe you let her get away," the first one said. He was short and plump, and wore a suit patterned with purple-and-gold pinstripes; his tie was printed with a picture of an anatomically-improbably cartoon woman, her eyes rolling back and mouth hanging open in sexual ecstasy.

The second was tall and thin; his tracksuit was pink camouflage, and his bucket hat proclaimed him to be the World's Best Grandma. With a hint of a French accent, he said, "I am not the one who had her at my mercy and fucked it all up."

"She turned her arm into a flaming sword! How was I supposed to react to that?" The short one ran a hand through his over-gelled hair, and glared at his companion. "I thought she was supposed to be a normal college student, not some sort of roller-skating ninja."

"Did you do any research? Deer is a wizard college. It's like ICSUT, but for people who know what postmodernism is."

"Whatever. Let's get this over with, yeah?"


They stepped forwards, and each turned one of the polished brass doorknobs. The doors creaked open, revealing a well-appointed office; the men's eyes met, but before they could nod at each other dramatically, an old man's voice echoed from within.

"We don't have all day. Get in here, already."

« Get Out Of Her Way || Blind to the Big Surprise || XXXXX »

tags: tale marshall-carter-and-dark third-law

title from "private idaho" by the b52s.

  • Amos and Rupert tell Percival the bad news (When Situations Degenerate)
  • Iris encounters Skitter Marshall and Alphonse Cartier (Get Out Of Her Way)
  • Skitter and Alphonse report back to Amos and Rupert (Blind to the Big Surprise)
  • Iris learns about MC&D, goes into hiding
  • The First Compact (They Laid Down the Law)
  • Iris is made Dark


  • 1968-1972: Percival Dark attends ICSUT Portlands.
  • 1972: Unbeknownst to him, Percival Dark's son, Charles Black, is born.
  • 1975: Percival Dark is made Dark. Amos Marshall and Rupert Carter become Senior Partners of MC&D.
  • 1976: Aaron Czarnacki finishes hunting down the entire Schwarz family for collaborating with Nazi party.
  • 1977: GOC strike team kills Aaron Czarnacki.
  • 1986: Negrescu family purged by Ceausescu.
  • 1991: Duncan MacDuff kills wife, sons, self.
  • 1995: Kurokawa Masuyo dies during Aum Shinrikyo subway attacks.
  • 1999: Charles Black's daughter, Iris, is born.
  • 2010: Lenoir mansion disappears into bayou, whole family goes with it.
  • 2012: Charles Black dies from brain cancer.
  • 2014: Iris Black starts school at Deer College.
  • June 2015: Yin and Jianhong Li are assassinated.
  • May 1, 2016: When Situations Degenerate
  • September 16, 2016: Get Out Of Her Way
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