rating: +1+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: It's 5 racoons in a labcoat.

Special Containment Procedures: I don't know what you normally put here but you really need to call an exterminator.

Description: SCP-XXXX-J is five raccoons all stacked on top of each other dressed up as a Foundation Researcher. I swear to god I'm not making this up. They call him "Dr. Otor," and they said that "we've been working together for years." It's been here FOR 6 YEARS. How am I the only one that sees this thing, wobbling around, stealing from the vending machines, and BEING 5 RACOONS IN A LABCOAT?

When I first got here last month I thought it was a joke. Just a little bit of fun at my expense cause I'm not really with the Foundation.

Now I have video evidence that it came into my office while I was out and stole my pen. And for what? I've seen it write and it's just a bunch of scratches and stains. I brought that up with the head researcher and he said "that's just Lionel, his handwriting has always been bad." I said "ok so why does he smell like garbage" and they said I needed to attend sensitivity training.

Major: I don't know how they do it in the US Army but as the official Site-19 military attache we expect a certain level of professionalism from you. I'm willing to ignore this and your problems with Dr. Otor if you're willing to sit down and have a discussion about it tomorrow in my office. I'm going to move this document off the mainlist and into your personnel file for the moment. ~ HR

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