Collab:HawaiianPool
rating: 0+x
Item #: SCP-XXXX Level 4/XXXX
Object Class: Keter Classified

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ALOHA BROTHERS


Special Containment Procedures: Attempts at containing SCP-XXXX have previously been unsuccessful. Current containment procedures include the following process:

  • Formation of Mobile Task Force Iota-9 "Pool Boys" to track all appearances of SCP-XXXX and follow its demands.
  • Creation of HL-LVR aka Hukilau Lover, a world wide web crawler to find any forum posts, news articles, social media posts, etc. pertaining to the appearance of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 40 square meter sapient swimming pool capable of instantaneous translocation. SCP-XXXX exclusively manifests in the rear exterior spaces of homes1 in landlocked areas and appears to specifically target the U.S state of Minnesota. During an SCP-XXXX manifestation event, the rear exterior space of the home will anomalously expand if necessary to accommodate SCP-XXXX, at which point SCP-XXXX will appear fully depressed into the ground. In 100% of all SCP-XXXX manifestations, it has appeared filled with garbage, refuse, plant life, and various objects of unknown origin, regardless of its state of cleanliness prior to its previous demanifestation.

Once SCP-XXXX has fully manifested, it will begin vocalizing2 to nearby individuals in an attempt to persuade them to approach. If an individual does approach, SCP-XXXX will engage in conversation with them, attempting to strike a bargain. This bargain will usually involve SCP-XXXX giving up one or more items found within its water in exchange for the individual cleaning out the entirety of SCP-XXXX's interior.

If the individual refuses the initial offer, SCP-XXXX will offer sequentially more valuable objects while vocalizations increase in outrage about the perceived injustice against it. These vocalizations will grow louder with time to an indefinite maximum. The highest recorded volume from SCP-XXXX surpassed the ability for current measuring tools to document. However, the intensity has been recorded to cause an earthquake measured 5 on the Richter scale.

Below is a list of outlier manifestation locations.

Date of Manifestation Location of Manifestation Notable Materials Recovered Comments
5-11-2014 Bad Axe, Michigan 4 wallets, 3 dozen sugar cookies, 9 ladles Cookies were found to be dry when removed from SCP-XXXX.
7-30-2014 Cascade, Idaho 1 car tire, 18 dog plushies None.
8-8-2014 Bloomington, Minnesota 13 imitation Hawaiian leis, 5 plastic coconut shells, 1 cocktail glass, 2 pairs of bikinis None.
10-15-2014 Red Bank, Tennessee 1 computer, 5 shirts with "Metal and Soul" written on the front, 2 lemons, 33 bolts Computer was functioning despite being submerged, and ran a previously unknown OS named "CAESIOS".
12-21-2014 Colorado Springs, Colorado 1 purple top hat, 3 wooden spears None
3-2-2015 Walnut Ridge, Arkansas 1 tattered Polish flag, 2 cell phones, 4 bottles of wine, 1 bag of milk None.
4-12-2015 Fargo, North Dakota 2 deceased swans, 1 copy of the novel "Fargo" It is unknown if the novel relates to the entity's position within the city of Fargo.
4-14-2015 Moorhead, Minnesota 11 imitation Hawaiian Leis, 6 plastic coconut shells, 3 cocktail glasses, 1 bikini top None
6-29-2015 Hartford, Vermont 5 lunar rocks, 3 left boots, 16 pounds of monkey fur Rocks were found to be from the Moon.
9-10-2015 Muskogee, Oklahoma 2 dishwashers, 1 Foundation ID card, 29 saltwater crabs The name and picture on the ID card were blank.
11-30-2015 Hershey, Pennsylvania 1 copy of "Anomalous Animals and You: A guide to caring for animals from the nth dimension" by Tim Wilson3, 3 bottles of root beer, 13 computer mouses, 2 Christmas ornaments No book by that name currently exists.
1-27-2016 Baudette, Minnesota 10 imitation Hawaiian leis, 7 plastic coconut shells, 6 cocktail glasses, 4 pairs of bikinis This is the 15th time SCP-XXXX has manifested with these items within Minnesota.
3-21-2016 Los Vegas, Nevada N/A SCP-XXXX manifested within an RV while it was in motion, causing it to veer into oncoming traffic. The entity demanifested shortly after.
8-1-2016 Chicago, Illinois 3 pigeons, 12 cups of coffee, 1 M1921 Thompson submachine gun SCP-XXXX manifested on a balcony of the Central Loop Hotel.

Addendum XXXX-12

The following lists all proposed and attempted containment procedures as well as their outcomes.
Proposed Containment Procedure 1
Name: Director House DENIED
Proposed Containment
Create a night club around the pool in order to drown out its vocalizations.
Containment Results
N/A
Proposed Containment Procedure 2
Name: Researcher Chevrolet APPROVED
Proposed Containment
Containing SCP-XXXX in a soundproof enclosure made of an experimental substance known to dampen 99.99% of sound waves.
Containment Results
Attempt lasted approximately nine days and fourteen hours when SCP-XXXX's vocalizations reached over 200 decibels before surpassing intensities allowing for proper measurement. The volume eventually caused the containment material to sublimate resulting in multiple injuries to researchers as well as one death due to air embolism in the lungs.
Proposed Containment Procedure 3
Name: Dr. Edward Wolfe APPROVED
Proposed Containment
The unorthodox procedure of filling SCP-XXXX with refuse. Dr. Wolfe posits that this may cause the anomaly to become frustrated, containing itself and/or result in the possible threat of increased trash as motivation against further outbursts. The suggestion is approved by Dr. Lark and proceeds as planned.
Containment Results
Approximately two tons of trash are dumped into SCP-XXXX before its vocalizations increased in intensity to the point of collapsing the nearby structure before SCP-XXXX spontaneously disappeared. It was found two months later in Bloomington, MN fully cleaned by unknown means and appeared to recognize Foundation Individuals directly involved with this containment attempt. All personnel directly involved have been reassigned in order to avoid further incidents.
Proposed Containment Procedure 4
Name: Director House APPROVED
Proposed Containment
After the pool's appearance in a well-populated area of Los Vegas, NV, Director House suggests creating a twenty-four hour fully enclosed club aimed primarily at overwhelming SCP-XXXX's vocalizations with the added benefit of keeping it relatively clean.4 Director House had suggested this containment procedure prior to the first containment attempt but was denied due to SCP-XXXX's location in St. Paul, Minnesota at the time of the suggestion.
Containment Results
The Hawaiian Pool Masquerade is built surrounding SCP-XXXX and finds success relatively quickly due to the efforts of the research team and Dr. Lark.5 The pool was kept maintained for one month, eight days, and three hours until an inebriated patron defecated within SCP-XXXX. The incident caused eight fatalities due to air embolism in the lungs and 29 injuries due to shattered eardrums and collapsed lungs.
Proposed Containment Procedure 5
Name: Dr. Everwood APPROVED
Proposed Containment
Dr. Everwood suggests overwhelming SCP-XXXX's vocalizations with SCP-2337 in an attempt to "annoy" the anomaly into self-containment. Project Lead Dr. Lark initially denied this request but was overruled by remote site supervisor Director House.
Containment Results
The containment attempt proceeded once SCP-XXXX was found within a screened enclosure that had previously housed a non-anomalous swimming pool. SCP-2337 was placed within SCP-XXXX's enclosure and not fed the requisite gummy worms until its vocalizations reached 23 db.

SCP-XXXX then engaged SCP-2337 in conversation which then proceeded into a disagreement over the proper cooking method of a German bratwurst before erupting into an argument over the proper location of SCP-2337's eyes. The argument escalated until both anomalies caused a localized tectonic event resulting in major damage to the nearby city. SCP-2337 breached containment during the event but was quickly retrieved by the research team.
No further containment attempts have been enacted following Attempt 4. Current containment procedures were enacted and will remain in place until such a time that sufficiently effective containment procedures can be discovered.

Interview Log XXXX-8

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Researcher Kalama

Foreword: During a routine containment attempt, Researcher Kalama was prompted to engage SCP-XXXX in conversation while MTF Iota-9 observed standard procedure. Kalama was selected due to their familiarity with the Hawaiian language, which SCP-XXXX has been observed to occasionally communicate in.

«Begin Log»

SCP-XXXX: Aloooooooooha, cousin! Did ya come to spend some time with little old me? Haha, I've got some time to kill while my friends here give me a scrub-down.

Note: SCP-XXXX's water feature appears to flow with more velocity when it "speaks." This has not been observed to coincide with the volume of SCP-XXXX's vocalizations.

Kalama: [IN HAWAIIAN] Hello there. Would you prefer to speak in our native tongue? I want to make sure you're comfortable.

SCP-XXXX: Uh… Haha, yeah, totally, cuz! It's good to see you too! But you know, I don't wanna be rude in front of the guys. Don't want them to be left out ya know? We're all one big happy ohana here.

Kalama: I am sorry, I was told you spoke the language.

SCP-XXXX: I totally do, I just, you know. The guys are right here an- hey, you by the filter, there's a chunk of gator tail in there. Could you get it out? And, uh, make sure you wear gloves. I was at one hell of a luau the other day, haha! Anyway, where were we? I think I was about to tell you about that awesome luau the other night.

Kalama: Are you at luaus while you're not being cleaned?

SCP-XXXX: You know it, cousin! This bad boy is a big, mean, luau party machine!

Kalama: Oh, that's lovely. I haven't been to one in a long time, but I miss the food the most. What do you like having at them?

SCP-XXXX: Cheeseburgers, no doubt. Heaven on earth with an onion slice, baby!

Kalama: Cheeseburgers, hmm? I don't think I've seen them at any luaus I've been to. My favorite dish has always been kulolo.

SCP-XXXX: Oh yeah, I think I've heard of that. It's uh…. that fish, right?

Kalama: It's a desse- [PERSON IS INTERRUPTED BY SCP-XXXX]

SCP-XXXX: A dessert! Yeah! Haha, your silly old cuz can't remember. Too much partying, you know!

Kalama: So, where are these parties? In Hawaii, I assume?

SCP-XXXX: Hawaii? What's that?

[COMMAND INFORMS PERSON NOT TO DESCRIBE HAWAII TO SCP-XXXX]

Kalama: Oh, I'm sorry, I misspoke. So, where are these parties?

SCP-XXXX: Wherever there's a sunset, tequila, and hula babes, cuz.

«End Log»

Closing Statement: Information about Hawaii is currently barred from explicitly being told to SCP-XXXX until its motives are more clearly understood.

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ALOHA

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