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SCP-XXXX "Well, Yeet Me Mama Like A Wagon Wheel"

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SCP-XXXX as it was originally recovered at the Lancaster Museum of History.

Item #: SCP-xxxx

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a locked vehicle shed at Site-11. The clamps affixed to SCP-XXXX’s wheels are not to be loosened or removed by personnel, and animals may not be hitched to the item regardless of the condition of the clamps

Bob Dylan and members of Old Crow Medicine Show have been designated PoI XXXX-1 through -11. Covers of the song "Wagon Wheel" are to be suppressed from reaching "hit status." Should a cover attain such status, civilians in Burbank, California who witness impact/landing events are to be administered amnestics.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a Conestoga covered wagon, a model used between the late 18th century and the mid 19th century. SCP-XXXX is in excellent condition, with no apparent environmental damage, despite having been made in 1790 in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. There is no evidence of restoration; all woodwork and metalwork is original.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a humanoid object resembling American singer, songwriter and poet Robert Zimmerman, known professionally as Bob Dylan, as he appeared in 1972. SCP-XXXX-1 is is able to freely stand uninhibited, but is biologically deceased. Should SCP-XXXX become mobile via both being hitched to an animal capable of spinning its wheels on their axis, and having its wheels freed from any restraints, it will begin to independently move forward. No force (driver, animals, people outside the wagon, objects) will be able to stop the cart’s forward motion until it reaches SCP-XXXX-1.

Once it comes within less than a meter of SCP-XXXX-1, all motion abruptly stops save for the front left wheel, which attracts SCP-XXXX-1 through an unknown force, pinning the object to the spokes and rotating it between seven and eleven times at close to 200 kph. As this occurs, a disembodied female voice will vocalize the phrases "This bitch empty" and "Yeet! (sic)" This audio is identical to one in a short video posted in 2014 to the social network Vine1. Following this, SCP-XXXX-1 is flung from the wheel into the mesosphere at high speeds, where it arcs from the current location of SCP-XXXX towards the approximate location of a sound recording booth at Burbank Studios, Burbank, California.

Notably, Bob Dylan was recording the soundtrack to the 1973 movie Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid at that studio in 1972. One of the songs recorded, but not included on the soundtrack, is an improvised outtake referred to as "Rock Me Mama", which was subsequently released on bootleg recordings. The recordings released do not contain a section of audio containing a loud crash (presumed to be SCP-XXXX violently landing inside the studio) followed by panicked shouting. Dylan was given amnestics years after the event.

The edited recording was subsequently adapted by country musicians Ketch Secor and Chris Fuqua into a song called "Wagon Wheel" which was recorded by their band Old Crow Medicine Show and released on February 24, 2004. A cover of"Wagon Wheel" was released on January 7, 2013 by Darius Rucker and reached 15 on the US Billboard Hot 100. On the 2004 date, SCP-XXXX animated spontaneously and began to travel forward. In addition to SCP-XXXX-1, a second object identical to Secor as he appeared on that date, designated SCP-XXXX-2, appeared and underwent an identical occurrence to SCP-XXXX-1; however, SCP-XXXX-2 was attracted to and subsequently launched from the front right wheel. Another incident occurred on the 2013 date, although the manifested entity (SCP-XXXX-3) resembled Rucker and was launched from the rear left wheel. In total three bodies are launched towards the Burbank Studio each time.

The exact manufacturer of the Conestoga wagon2 and the poster of the Vine video are both unknown, with both individuals missing from the historical record and a list of users provided by Twitter Inc, respectively.

Addendum-1: As of 2025, covers of the song by Thomas Rhett and Anna DeWitt Jones have charted in the United States, reaching “hit status” despite Foundation efforts at suppression. Additionally, the Old Crow Medicine Show version was sampled on the song "Southbound Train" by Aubrey Graham3, Jason Tybalt4 and Jahron Braithwaite5, with production by Shane Lindstrom6. Each of these songs has created another numbered SCP-XXXX corpse (-4 through -9) being added to SCP-XXXX, with the wagon generating new wheels for each individual. The amount of corpses landing on the roof of the Burbank studio has put significant strain on the building, and the studio complex has been purchased by a Foundation front company.

Addendum-2: Following the [REDACTED], Robert Zimmerman passed away; after which, SCP-XXXX animated again. Only SCP-XXXX-1 appeared, and upon being spun on the wheel, was launched out of Earth's atmosphere. The object emitted a distorted voice similar to Dylan, repeating the words "yeet motherfuckers" as it ascended. As of two weeks following the event, SCP-XXXX-1 has left the solar system.

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