mortos7

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Anomaly Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is a promotional pamphlet containing information on a series of diets that supposedly aid in weight loss or improving general health.

ultra-veganism, eating rocks etc

So, you've switched to veganism, the responsible choice for both your body and the environment, but you're thinking to yourself "Surely I can do more". And you'd be right! Eating plants is no less murder than eating animals! Luckily, the Earth provides us with a great many things that have never been alive, a great bounty for the entire world to eat if they'd only open their eyes. Let me teach you, and you'll be eating rocks, minerals and ores before you can say "Eating plants is murder!" Geotarianism, the responsible choice.

crazy complicated process refining something into an edible state,

You need to lose weight, and lose it fast. You've tried everything, and nothing has worked. Worry not! Using my patented formula, you'll drop all those extra pounds easily, and not have to starve yourself in the process! How is that possible, you ask? Using an intricate series of refinements and processing, readily obtainable ingredients are turned into a filling, nutritious, and fat burning solution. Day by day, you'll watch the weight fall away! You'll be supplied with all the equipment and know-how you need to get started on the last diet you'll ever need, for the low low price of $149.99!

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