SCP-019-J reading an incantation spell within SCP-019-J-1.
Item #: SCP-019-J
Object Class: Wizard
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-019-J is to stay within the confines of its containment cell at all times and kept in a constant state of inebriation through the usage of alcoholic beverages1 or any other hard liquors2. Testing with SCP-019-J must be done under the supervision of Dr. Eva Cozling.
Should SCP-019-J begin to display violent behavior during its drunken stupor, personnel are to apprehend and sedate the entity with Carfentanil-grade tranquilizers and escort the subject to its cell.
Description: SCP-019-J is an elderly humanoid that identifies itself as Willard Kimberly. SCP-019-J does not appear anomalous other than his ability to recite incantations and perform kinetohazardous gestures to create rituals within SCP-019-1-J. SCP-019-1-J frequently ends or begins each spell by exclaiming various nonsensical words3.
SCP-019-1-J is a large tome chained by its binder to the side of SCP-019-J's jeans. SCP-019-J-1 contains various ritualistic incantations and thaumic glyphs with varying levels of intricacy. SCP-019-J carries SCP-019-J-1 around and does not appear to be affected by the large size.
Interview: First recorded interview between SCP-019-J and Dr. Cozling.
SCP-019-J: Grand greetings, m'lady. (SCP-019-J tips his wizard hat under the cloak)
Dr. Cozling: And to you as well.
SCP-019-J: So what do you wish to know about me?
Dr. Cozling: Well… what exactly are you?
SCP-019-J: Isn't it obvious? I'm the grand mage! I am the supreme sorcerer! Tell me, what do you think I am? What's the first thought that comes to mind when you see me?
Dr. Cozling: I just- you just don't look like a wizard, is all.
SCP-019-J: Preposterous! Have you not seen a grand warlock stand before you!?
Dr. Cozling: Oh I definitely have. I just haven't seen one that wears a hood over their hat.
text stuff
SCP-019-J: Well!?
Dr. Cozling: It just seems counterproductive to wear a hood over a hat, that's it.
SCP-019-J: My child, this hood is to protect my hat from the elements! It is the source of any wizard's power!
Huu: Is it?
SCP-019-J: Actually, it's mostly used to cover a my bald spot.
Huu: Then why wear the costume?
SCP-019-J: Listen kid, do you have any idea how much money a street magician makes in a year?
Dr. Cozling: I'm willing to bet it isn't that much.
SCP-019-J: Exactly. If it wasn't for the book, I wouldn't be standing alongside other great wizards such as Merlin! Gandalf! Dumbeldore! Copperf-
Dr. Cozling: Alright, alright. I think I get it. So you only do this to gain a living?
SCP-019-J: Didn't I already mention I was a street magician?
[END LOG]
Addendum 019-J: List of Spells recited in SCP-019-J-1
Name: Gigadrill, Book of Kamina, Page 4
Description: A single page contains a diagram of a human figure wearing a conical hat. According to SCP-019-J, the spell requires one to wear a cone-shaped hat and is meant to "pierce the heavens".
Results: SCP-019-J removes the hood covering his cone hat and proceeds to chant the words "Fight the power" over and over again while turning around. SCP-019-J starts to pick up speed as the chants get louder and louder to a point that SCP-019-J becomes a blur. Subject twirls around so fast, that it begins to create a vacuum inside the test chamber and his hat begins to grow larger and larger. SCP-019-J suddenly jumps into the ceiling and pierces through, albeit, only to get the torso halfway through. SCP-019-J falls down from the ceiling and hits face-first onto the pavement. Upon rolling over SCP-019-J, subject was seen wearing orange-tinted, triangular glasses. How SCP-019-J came into contact with these glasses despite not wearing them beforehand is unknown.
Name: World Hunger Solution, Book of Kazaam, Page 8-10
Description: A two-page spell that requires the person performing the incantation to raise their hands up int sky whilst shouting out "I am Kazaam". Spell demonstrates that it holds the key to solving the issue of global starvation.
Results: SCP-019-J is taken outside into the testing field and instructed to perform the ritual. SCP-019-J begins to raise his hands in the air and yells out "I. Am. Kazaam." into the sky. After waiting for five seconds, french fries start falling from the sky, hitting SCP-019-J as he starts expressing pain from the before being knocked out-cold by a single cheeseburger. SCP-019-J recovers in the medical wing and states that he is "not of a higher level" to properly use the spell.
Name: Conversion Therapy, Book of Empires, Page 11-18
Description: A seven-page spell that involves holding a curved wooden staff and wearing a long, blue sash. The pages claim to convert any living foe into a friendly, loyal ally.
Results: SCP-019-J is instructed to convert a D-Class subject, SCP-019-J begins gesticulate around D-69420 before finishing the ritual by saying "Wololo". No change was observed except for Dr. Myron who proceeded to beat Dr. Huu with a crowbar outside the test chamber. After subduing Dr. Myron, it was later noticed that Dr. Myron's shirt under his labcoat was blue when it was originally red. Dr. Huu, who was also wearing a blue shirt underneath her labcoat, was later taken away to be treated for her injuries. Why this spell only affected Dr. Myron and not Dr. Huu is still unknown.
Name: Eg spel [sic], Book of The Egg, Page 22-33
Description: An eleven-page incantation that transforms any human being into an abnormally large egg. Purpose is unknown.
Results: Spell conducted on a D-Class subject (D-80085) and was immediately transformed into the aforementioned egg. Upon conversion, the egg started to shake and proceeded to roll across the chamber; flattening agents and breaking through the chamber walls before abruptly stopping. The egg proceeded to crack and slowly hatch as a humanoid wearing a bird-like mask emerged from the shell, coated in yolk as well as moaning and screaming loudly as it exited. Entity was last seen beating SCP-019-J with a wooden stick before being subdued and contained by Task Force units.
Name: Unknown4, Book of Bezos, Page 49-50
Description: A two-page conjuration spell that immediately materializes $200 on the nearest table.
Results: SCP-019-J proceeded with the spell and $300 appeared on the testing table. Of note was the offshore accounts of Jeff Bezos simultaneously lost $300 during that period.
Name: Grow Eyebrows On Furniture, Book of Symmerion, Page 83-88
Description: A five-page incantation that causes nearby objects in the surrounding environment of a room to instantly grow eyebrows. Purpose unknown.
Results: SCP-019-J recited said spell within a furnished cell resembling a living room. All objects grew eyebrows on them. Objects affected with the spell repeatedly move their eyebrows up and down as well as "waggle" when in the presence of low-level researchers.
Name: Summon Politician, Scrolls of The Ancients, Page 300-1,000
Description: A 700-page summoning ritual involving a bottle of extra virgin olive oil, a wheelchair, a copy of the Kidz Bop Ultimate Hits album, a boombox, twelve ketchup packets, a bejeweled ritual dagger made of gold, and a live chicken. The pages are covered in dried ketchup and obscures most of the text which resembles no known human languages.
Results: SCP-019-J express great fear when confronted with the spell, claiming that he has only done this spell twice. Once, by accident, and the second, in an attempt to combat the original summoned entity with another one only to make matters worse. Subject refuses to recreate the ritual again, saying that he "no longer dabbles in the dark forbidden arts."
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