Connor's Draft No.21


NORAD Command Center


Peterson Air Force Base

Special Containment Procedures: Efforts must be made to ensure that SCP-4322-1 delivers all newspapers and arrives home by 8:00 PM. MTF-Mannaz-1 ("Ground Controllers") are to guide and assist SCP-4322-1 on the routes leading to his address as well as follow SCP-4322-1 until he reaches home.

In the event that SCP-4322-1 arrives earlier or sooner than expected, MTF-Odal-9 ("The Welcome Wagon") are to provide as the main defense against all NORAD-operated aircraft with additional support from Armed Mobile Task Force Nu-7 ("Hammer Down").

Description: SCP-4322 is a causal phenomenon affecting the North American Aerospace Defense Command1 (hereafter designated as SCP-4322-2) by an individual named Randy Papathanassiou (hereafter designated as SCP-4322-1). SCP-4322 causes aircraft within SCP-4322-2 to target cities and other metropolitan areas in the United States.

Cities engaged by these aircraft are seemingly random with their targets changing sporadically after a successful attack. Attacks usually consist of airstrikes from fighter aircraft and ground attack aircraft by missile bombardment. Missiles from these aircraft detonate in the form of superheated mashed potatoes. The explosions from these mashed potatoes are capable of causing third-degree burns but cool extremely quickly; causing parts of the mashed potato mass to harden and form lumps, sealing wounds with hardened potato mash which can cause internal bleeding. Pulling these lumps from the wounds has been shown to cause extreme pain in individuals as these lumps have been seared into the epidermis and to do so would result in the tearing of the skin and muscle tissue.

This relationship occurs as a result of SCP-4322-1 arriving home to eat dinner before 7:00 PM. Dinner for SCP-4322-1 will always consist of a large mass of mashed potatoes and nothing else. the reason for this is unknown.

SCP-4322-1 is a 38-year old human of Greek descent named Randy Papathanassiou. SCP-4322-1 does not show any anomalous abilities other than the causal relationship it shares with SCP-4322-2. SCP-4322-1 attends community college in Chicago, Illinois and works part-time in newspaper delivery.

SCP-4322-2 refers to the headquarters and personnel of NORAD stationed in Peterson Air Base.

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