Connor's Draft No.21

SCP-5595: Nobody Observed Randy At Dinner


NORAD Command Center


Peterson Air Force Base

Special Containment Procedures: Efforts must be made to ensure that SCP-5595-1 delivers all newspapers and arrives home by 8:00 PM. MTF-Mannaz-1 ("Ground Controllers") are to guide and assist SCP-5595-1 on the routes leading to his address as well as follow SCP-5595-1 until he reaches home.

In the event that SCP-5595-1 arrives earlier or sooner than expected, MTF-Odal-9 ("The Welcome Wagon") are to provide as the main defense against all NORAD-operated aircraft with additional support from Armed Mobile Task Force Sigma-9 ("Valkyries").

Description: SCP-5595 is a causal phenomenon affecting the North American Aerospace Defense Command1 (hereafter designated as SCP-5595-2) by an individual named Randy Papathanassiou (hereafter designated as SCP-5595-1). SCP-5595 causes aircraft within SCP-5595-2 to target cities and other metropolitan areas in the United States.

Aircraft engaging with these cities are seemingly random with their targets; changing sporadically after a successful attack. Attacks usually consist of airstrikes from fighter aircraft and ground attack aircraft by missile bombardment. Missiles from these aircraft detonate in the form of superheated mashed potatoes. The explosions from these mashed potatoes are capable of causing third-degree burns but cool extremely quickly; causing parts of the mashed potato mass to harden and form lumps, sealing wounds with hardened potato mash which can cause internal bleeding. Pulling these lumps from the wounds have been shown to cause extreme pain in individuals as these lumps are often seared into the epidermis and to do so would result in the tearing of the skin and muscle tissue.

This relationship occurs as a result of SCP-5595-1 failing to arrive home to eat dinner before 7:00 PM, however, SCP-5595 will not occur on the weekends, holidays, or days that SCP-5595-1 has no classes. Dinner for SCP-5595-1 will always consist of a large mass of mashed potatoes and nothing else. The reason for this is unknown.

SCP-5595-1 is a 29-year old human of Greek descent named Randy Papathanassiou. SCP-5595-1 does not show any anomalous abilities other than the causal relationship it shares with SCP-5595-2. SCP-5595-1 attends community college in Chicago, Illinois and works part-time in newspaper delivery. SCP-5595-1 is unaware of his causal relationship between himself and SCP-5595-2.

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