Connor's Draft No.29
chex.jpg

Close-up of a portion of SCP-5990's mass.

Item #: SCP-5799

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5799 is contained inside a low-security humanoid containment domicile. SCP-5799 does not require any form of sustenance and as such, is to be left inside its own cell.

Personnel are to perform routine checks on the locks on the chamber door as well as inspect for any cracks or crevices in the chamber itself due to the risk that any missing pieces of SCP-5799 may escape. New employees assigned to this anomaly are advised to not eat any piece of SCP-5799 or risk suffering bodily harm and injury by the anomaly itself.

Description: SCP-xxxx is a large semi-humanoid sentient mass composed of General Mills' brand Chex Mix. SCP-xxxx exhibits complex problem solving skills, cognitive understanding, and critical thinking but will only apply its intellectual acuity towards the worship and promotion of Chex Mix snack products.

SCP-5799 is a polymorph and is constantly shifting its own shape in a fluid-like motion. SCP-5799 generally appears as a tall but indistinct humanoid and often traverses by moving or rolling each individual piece of itself to whatever direction it chooses. Analysis of the each variety that composes SCP-5799 (chips, hard breadsticks, crackers, pretzels, and nuts) do not appear to be chemically anomalous or different from normal Chex Mix pieces.

SCP-5799 is docile in nature but will react with hostility if a piece is eaten from its mass. SCP-5799 will attempt to restrain the individuals responsible with it's own mass by enveloping them and will proceed to suffocate them by force-feeding its own mass into their orifices, or by grabbing them by one of their limbs and aggressively throwing and slamming them down on the ground or any walls nearby.

Discovery: SCP-5799 was discovered in the apartment of Max ███████ and Drew ████. At the time of its apprehension, Field Agents found the apartment in a state of disarray, with various alcoholic beverages and used cigars wrapped in cannabis littered throughout the rooms. SCP-5799 was found feeding on leftover Chex Mix in the kitchen cabinets.

Addendum 5799.1:Recovered Data
During a sweep of the apartment after effectively containing SCP-5799, a smartphone was discovered underneath the cushions of the couch in the living room and presumably belonged to Mr. ████, the following logs were taken verbatim at the time of this documentation.

[[collapsible show="+ Show Communication Logs" hide="- hide Communication Logs"]]

hey


Dude, where the hell are you? I've been sitting on my ass for half an hour waiting for you.


bruh, im at zack's


What? Why the fuck are you at Zack's place?


i told them that were having a party at our place tonight


bru h


dude what the fuck. Why did you bring them? We can't do the shit with people!


chill man. were just goinna bring some beer and shots and bongs over there.


theres gonna be girls too.


Are you drunk? Right now?


im ma bit high i think.


Are you kidding me? Now? Why?

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