Instructions Unclear, Got Dick Stuck In Cannon
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2/XXXX LEVEL 2/XXXX
CLASSIFIED
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
SAFE

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Muzzle entrance to SCP-xxxx's anomaly.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-xxxx is currently contained in a large container in Site-26’s Containment Wing.

When not in use, SCP-xxxx should be aimed at a thick, soft surface. The container has been modified to include the required padding.

Description: SCP-xxxx is a large-caliber brass cannon made in the 16th century, with a diameter of 40 cm. It was recovered from an underground chamber beneath the █████ castle, France. The barrel is welded to its base, almost perpendicular to the ground.

SCP-xxxx houses a spatial anomaly within its barrel, seemingly extending the inside of the barrel to an unknown length. The anomaly can be accessed from either the breech or the muzzle. It is unclear if these openings are connected, as objects dropped vertically through one opening fail to come out of the other.

Personnel working frequently with SCP-xxxx report of a recurring nightmare, where they lose all vision with extreme pressure coming from all sides. Their limbs are pressed tightly against their body, completely inhibiting any movement except for their extremities, allowing them to slowly push forward. Due to the extreme discomfort expected of such conditions, these dreams typically only last for seconds before waking the subject. These personnel has expressed increased interest in experimenting with SCP-xxxx, even going as far as requesting to be test subjects themselves, which has been denied. No such requests have been filed. - Dr. Herbert Coleman, Lead Researcher

Addendum: Incident xxxx-A

On ██/██/19██, monitoring devices recorded a projectile being discharged by SCP-xxxx, impacting with the opposite container wall. The projectile is roughly conical, measuring approximately 2.8 meters long. Its material is reminiscent of charred flesh. Its surface presents several features, including a full set of humanoid extremities and what appears to be an elongated humanoid face. The origin of the projectile is still unknown.

Dissection of the projectile revealed it to have an almost identical anatomy to baseline humans. Subject expired minutes before the discharge event.



Because I love parodying titles, why not Also have just found out about 3500's title change isn't it the perfect occasion

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