Oakwinter5k 2

Item Number: SCP-5000

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: The Cosmic Microwave Background's emissions are to be monitored for presence of SCP-5000 instances via use of SETI and likewise deep-space networks. In the case of a propagator of SCP-5000 transmissions being located, MTF Xi-63 "Luddites" is to explore the propagator via use of wormhole technology in accordance with the Gujar Protocol. Previous, and any future iterations of this document, are to be accessible to review the content of SCP-5000 instances themselves.

Description: SCP-5000 is a series of transmissions received from the Pelican Nebula from 6 different propagators, all proven to be spacecraft capable of interstellar travel. No propagator of SCP-5000 is currently active, suggesting SCP-5000 instances all were transmitted in the past; the significant distance between Earth and these propagators is the likely reason for the delay in transmission.

Enclosed below is a list of further documentation concerning SCP-5000, and the Gujar Protocol.


Assorted On-site Complaints Following Pulse


Complaint: Site-75's cafeteria juice blender failed.

Status Of Complaint: Blender repaired. Occasionally stops when carrots are placed into it.


Complaint: Site-21 navigation application directs users away from their destinations and directly into possibly life-threatening situations.

Status of Complaint: Unknown worm placed into application was the cause of the issue. The virus has since been removed.


Complaint: Cellular service at Site-13 weakened.

Status of Complaint: It was determined this was unrelated to SCP-5000, and was due to a pigeon striking the nearby cellular tower. The tower has since been repaired. The corpse of the pigeon has been recovered, and was found to contain recently implanted augmented parts.


Complaint: Social media opened on-site in all Foundation Provisional sites show recommendations for nearby restaurants, rather than topics or people that personnel like or follow.

Status of Complaint: Companies which this issue effects have been notified of the issue. Estimated time of repair is unknown.


Complaint: Site-31's on-site computers' search suggestions do not follow input in search bar. For example, typing in "how do i calculate 10 by 10" will result in suggestions including "how do i insert a man's intestine into a grinder," "how much wattage would burning a "single blade of grass" result in," and "mohs hardness scale." The same suggestions are made no matter the initial query.

Status of Complaint: Not repaired. The cause is still being determined.


Complaint: Spam filtering on official email addresses has stopped.

Status of Complaint: Repaired. An edit was made in order to delete a single semicolon, preventing spam filtration. The source of this edit is unknown. Following this repair, the volume of spam emails received by Foundation personnel increased by nearly 1250% on average.


Foundation Thaumaturgy Department Log
Researcher: Dr. Samantha Howard


<BEGIN LOG>

Date: 2025/9/29

Well, here we are. With almost all mechanical equipment employed by the Foundation out of operation for the time being, the O5s decided to turn to us here in the Thaumaturgy Department to fix their little conundrum with a nice, simple wormhole so they can mount an expedition to the source of SCP-5000. The only direction they gave us was that it needed to lead to some nebula 2000-odd light-years away, and be stable enough for whatever MTF they decide to throw into it to make a return trip.

Can't quite blame them for shifting their attention elsewhere, honestly. The world is something of a mess at the moment, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Veil doesn't hold up to the stress. They'll probably claim it was a Gamma Ray Burst directed at the Earth that did nothing other than shut down most contemporary consumer electronics, but I doubt civilian scientists and anyone who has heard about GRBs before won't buy that for long.

Anyway, on to the more pressing concern: manufacturing a stable wormhole to a specific location with nothing but pre-internet technology, elbow grease, and a healthy dose of magic. Not impossible, but certainly difficult with our limited resources. I just sent a team to peruse the Library for some information that could prove useful. Here's hoping they get back in one piece.

Date: 2025/10/3

The Library expedition team returned. Six days of roaming the twisted halls of the Wanderer's Library and we finally have what we came for. A thaumaturgical recipe for a targeted portal to wherever we want in the universe. Only problem is it's in an unknown cipher, and our AI cryptographers are out-of-order for the foreseeable future. But that's fine, everything's fine. Our human codebreakers could use the exercise.

Date: 2025/10/5

Code cracked. Didn't take as long as I feared, to be honest. After decrypting a combination of various obscure cryptography techniques and translating some ancient Sumerian, we have our wormhole recipe. I've got field agents out acquiring some of the basic components, 50 grams of rhenium dust, a live Nepenthes peltata, a Sumerian ritual dagger, the usual stuff. I won't clutter this log with every detail of the recipe, but despite its complexity, I doubt we'll have much trouble with it. The Foundation Thaumaturgy Department has weathered far worse storms, after all. Now we just need to wait for the folks over in Astronautics to put together a shuttle for the expedition, hopefully with some rudimentary FTL communication if we're lucky. Can't wait to finally get this whole SCP-5000 business sorted out. I miss my cellphone.

<END LOG>

Gujar Protocol Mission Statement

Assigned MTF: MTF Xi-63 ("Luddites")

Foundation Command: Dr. Jack Winters

Mission goal: Utilize a specially-constructed spacecraft, designated Pelican 1, and a thaumaturgical artificial wormhole to access the presumed origin point of SCP-5000, ascertain its origins, and, if possible, contain it.

Additional Information: Each member of MTF Xi-63 is equipped with standard Foundation Astronautics spacesuits, as well as experimental body cameras, earpieces and microphones to facilitate FTL communication between Pelican 1 and Foundation command.


<BEGIN LOG>

Xi-1: Xi-1, check.

Xi-2: Xi-2, check.

Xi-3: Xi-3, check.

Xi-4: Xi-4, check.

Winters: Command, check. Thaumaturgy, we are good to open the wormhole.

(A D-Class personnel standing in the vacuum chamber containing Pelican 1 cuts herself with an ornate knife, allowing blood to drip into the pitcher of a live Nepenthes peltata. Shortly thereafter, a rift opens directly above the plant, leading to a position within the Pelican Nebula. Stars are visible in the distance on the other side.)

Winters: Alright, Xi-63, you are cleared to enter the wormhole.

Xi-1: Copy that. Let's get moving.

(Pelican 1 begins to move into the wormhole.)

Winters: Alright, we've done our short-range tests, but here's the real test. You guys are 2000 light-years away from us now. Xi-63, do you copy?

Xi-1: Loud and clear, command. Don't see anything unusual from our current position, so we'll continue further into the nebula.

(Pelican 1 spends approximately 40 minutes travelling closer to the presumed origin point of SCP-5000. Extraneous dialogue removed.)

Xi-3: Hold up. I see something on our left. Command, is the body cam picking it up? Looks like some kind of shuttle, but a big one.

Winters: We see it, 3. Alright guys, approach with caution. We don't know what might be there waiting for you.

Xi-2: Copy that. Let's go.

(Pelican 1 spends approximately 15 minutes approaching the unknown ship. Extraneous dialogue removed.)

Xi-3: Oh, damn. It was hard to judge size at a distance without any reference point out here, but up close, that thing's huge. Gotta be 1800 meters across. And there're a bunch of smaller objects floating around it… shit. I think we know what happened to the passengers. 4, you seeing this?

Xi-4: Yeah, those are bodies alright. Hope the cams're picking this up. Look vaguely avian, somewhat humanoid. 6 limbs, covered in feather-like structures. All relatively intact, guess there isn't much to decompose them out here. Oh, actually, it looks like their clothing is melted somewhat. There must have been a fire somewhere on the shuttle.

Xi-2: That's something. You think 5000 could've done it? Messed with tech back home, might've done the same here.

Winters: Certainly a possibility. Can you find an entry point? The interior might yield more information.

Xi-1: Uh, yeah. I see a hole about 40 meters down.

Winters: Good. Anchor the Pelican to the side and enter the shuttle with caution.

(Xi-63 maneuvers the Pelican 1 to the location of the hole, activates magnetic anchors, and proceeds to enter the shuttle.)

Xi-1: Alright, we're in. It's a maintenance area of some kind, tools scattered around everywhere with some kind of alien generator in the center of the room. Whole place has the same heat damage we saw on the corpses outside, but it's a lot worse in here. Looks like [static] came from the generator and burnt the hole we came in through.

Winters: I'm sorry, you seem to be getting some interference. What was that?

(At this point, a series of electric pulses emanate from Xi-1's microphone, determined to be English Morse Code. The message is translated here for convenience.)

Xi-1: GREETINGS, NEW PASSENGERS. WELCOME TO CYCLE ERROR:OVERLOAD OF OUR 25 CYCLE VOYAGE. MOST COMPUTATIONAL FUNCTIONS NO LONGER CONTROLLABLE, APOLOGIES FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

(Notable damage can be seen to the navigational computer: ERROR, METEORITE DETECTED, COURSE CONTINUED TOWARDS HAZARD can be seen, displayed in Morse code.)

Winters: Um, what? Xi-1, there seems to be some interference on your end. Are you still hearing us?

Xi-2: His mic stopped working. We're trying to reset it but it won't turn off. Should we abort the mission?

Winters: No, keep going. One busted microphone isn't cause to end a mission.

Xi-2: Copy that, command. 1, 3, 4, let's proceed further inward.

(More electric pulses are transmitted via Xi-1's microphone in English Morse Code.)

Xi-1: I SAW AN EVIL WITH MY BLACKENED EYES, BUT MY OWN LENSES DEVOURED MY INSIDES.

Winters: (aside) Sounds like Morse Code, can we get a translator on that? to mic Keep going, you're fine.

Xi-63 exits the maintenance room to find themselves in a corridor, which they follow until it leads to a large spherical chamber, approximately 400 meters in diameter. The walls of the chamber are lined with glass tubes approximately 2 meters in height and 0.5 meters in width. Above each tube is a derelict monitor, approximately 0.25 meters in height.

Xi-1: PROTOCOLS FEATURING AGENTS J-eF-EK and K-SAGAN BOTH PROVEN SEMI-SUCCESSFUL: PROTOCOL CONTENT LOST.

Xi-3: That's… fucking weird. I think I know where the rest of the passengers are. In some kind of stasis for their trip, maybe? I'm gonna see if I can crack one of these open and grab some tissue samples.

Xi-2: Alright, you do that. Tissue samples alright with you, Command?

Winters: Fine with me.
(Xi-3 moves towards a tube containing an avian figure. While doing so, a series of small electrical sparks can be seen bouncing off a number of the computers, and onto the walkway at the center of the chamber, without any adverse effects. The process takes place over the course of several nanoseconds, and was only visible upon slowing down the video feed after the end of the mission.)

Xi-3: Damn, this might take a while. This clothing is hard to get through, and the body underneath is brittle as hell after being dead for God knows how long.

Xi-4: What should the rest of us do?

Winters: Alright, let's maximize efficiency here. 2 can stay with 3 here while she gathers samples. 1 and 4, is there another passage besides the one you came down?

Xi-4: Yeah, it looks like this walkway continues to the other end of the chamber. You want me and the mute to go and check it out? (A light thump is heard.) Ha, he didn't like that. 1 isn't exactly happy about not being able to talk.

Winters: Sounds good. See what the rest of the shuttle has to offer.

Xi-1: ONLY IN THE SILENCE WHERE ONCE WAS SOUND CAN A HOME BE BUILT.

(Xi-1 and 4 continue down to the opposite side of the chamber while 2 waits by 3 as she attempts to collect tissue samples from an avian entity. 1 and 4 enter a similar corridor to the one they came from, and continue down it for approximately 100 meters before it opens into a small chamber. One wall is made of glass, with several dozen holes ranging from 0.5-2 centimeters in diameter, exposing the room to the vacuum of space.)

Xi-4: Looks like time did a number on the window here, probably micrometeor impacts over who knows how many years. A lot of computer terminals scattered around the place; this must've been some kind of bridge area. A few of them are relatively intact, as it turns out. I'll see if I can get one up and running.

Winters: If you want to, give it a shot. I doubt they're still operable.

(Xi-4 approaches one of the terminals. As she touches it, a light hum can be heard from it.)

Xi-4: Shit, that took a disconcertingly low amount of effort. Now what?

(At this point, a mechanical voice begins emanating from the terminal, speaking in English.)

Terminal: ACCESS LOG: =CYCLE 1. UPLOADING FILE CONTENTS…

Xi-4: Okay, what in the fuck is this? Why is it speaking English? What is it uploading to?

Winters: I… I think it's uploading to us. Somehow we're getting an audio file transmitted from your microphone. Hold on, (aside) get some guys on this now, need to see if this thing is anomalous or anything.

Winters: (aside) What? Are you sure? Well, what do we do? (to mic) Alright, situation is no longer stable. We're getting orders to pull you guys back.

Xi-1: THE PATH TO THE CREATORS' PARADISE IS PAVED IN THE ASHES OF PROGRESS. PROGRESS REQUIRES PAIN. PAIN BUILT ON BACKS OF THE OTHERS - EVEN IF THEY ARE VICTIMS.

Xi-4: Alright Command. 1, let's head back.

Xi-2: Copy that, command. 3, you get that? Finish collecting those samples and let's get moving.

Xi-3: And, done. (She places collected tissue samples into a bag on her waist.) Let's get out of here, this place is giving me the creeps.

(Xi-1's mic resumes recording audio rather than electric pulses, despite Xi-1 reportedly not speaking.)

Xi-1: CONSOLE DOT LOG OPEN PARENTHESES YOU ARE BUT PREY IN A DARK FOREST COLON WARNING CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH CLOSED PARENTHESES ENTER KEY

Xi-63 traverses down the path from which they came, reenters the Pelican 1 and navigates back to the wormhole without incident. Analysis of collected tissue samples determined them to be non-anomalous. The transmitted audio and text files are transcribed below.

END LOG

Translated Text File Recovered from Gujar Protocol Mission to SCP-5000 Source

Congratulations on attending the first galactic council in nearly 912,500 cycles! We here at the intergalactic union sincerely hope you enjoy your residence, and the intellectual contemplation that comes with it. This text shall appear in whichever language you comprehend, from Zygomastic to Limbaic, via use of our gifted (literally and brainpower-wise! humorous!) neurological network that assists in constant translation of the nearly million languages that are spoken amongst our members: your language is Common. Topics of discussion for today's proceedings are as follows:
- Congratulation of Sector 14-BS for Achieving Sufficiently Advanced Technology for Automated Sentience
- Translation of Previous Council's Proceedings
- Translation of Translation of Previous Council's Proceedings into Common
- 12 Parsec Race
- Discussion of Ethereal Forms: God or Not?
- Socratic Seminar on Sentience
- Debate On Usefulness Of Dihydrogen Versus Chlorine Based Monoxide Forms
- Discussion Of New Energy Forms
- Tobacco, And Its Many Animalian Likenesses
- Limbaic Idiom Competition
- Closing Thoughts delivered via Instantaneous Realization Courtesy of Xylath Of The Understandable-Jaws (Thank You Xylath!)

WE HERE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY, AND HAPPY COUNCIL-TIME!

Audio File Recovered from Gujar Protocol Mission to SCP-5000 Source

<BEGIN PLAYBACK>
Unknown: (There is a constant background noise of static: this noise varies in volume, occasionally making the original audio inaudible.) This is an official manifest of the Ukheli-1781, a transport class freighter bound for the official council. The two suns are upon us again: it is thus that it determines a council must be held. We are guided not by one of us, for once, for Keksis proved too unreliable. Instead we selected [STATIC] to provide it effortlessly, for it to take the proverbial reins whilst we look to the Outer Void. It is known that the council has not been held since the humanics lost capabilities - however, we, alongside a few others, have decided to function as liaisons. It will take a while, but this council is to be momentous: it is worth the travel.

(There is silence for approximately 2 minutes.)

Unknown: This is an official manifest of the Ukheli-1781: [STATIC] 6. We have lost contact with the Sporaens. Whether this is a form of humor, I know not. None of us on the ship are quite familiar with their tentacled ways. We have, however, received a final transmission prior to them leaving us. We know not what it is. Our best debreakers are working on it as we speak, and by best, I mean Keksis, so it is likely not going to be debroken. [STATIC] recommended [STATIC] schedule. It is most annoying. The council proved most momentous, despite the lacking attendance. I frown upon those who chose not to show. For those who physically could not, I hang my arms in honor. The threat is ever vigilant, and we lost many.

(There is silence for approximately 1 minute.)

Unknown: This is an official manifest of the [STATIC]-1781: [STATIC]. Keksis is now navigating. We have attempted to shut down the infamous Worm as he did appear, but his winding form appears to have embedded itself most everywhere. In doing so, we acknowledged the threat, and requested access to official detection channels to locate the presence of our allies. We have them still. While they are here, we will persevere. We have also detected a faint signal from the humanics - the kind which [STATIC] dangerous on our own ship, We have requested two "Effe Tee Elye" class craft to destroy them as they appear. The Worm shall not continue.

Unknown: This is an official manifest of the [STATIC]. Keksis could do no more. Our cycle is done. Bless the ones who remain. Bless what remains of our nest. Let us not be forgotten. Cast the shackles of the Worm off, humanics, and won't you rise from the rock of ignorance you hide [STATIC] that which protects you? Let us not be forgotten: our "Effe Tee Elye" craft reported a most beautiful phrase when they had destroyed the rotund transmission center: the hybrid arena. "Ave Imperator, morituri te salutant." Let us not be forgotten. Goodbye.

(There is a silence for exactly 10 seconds. At this point, the background static ceases.)

Unknown: THIS IS AN OFFICIAL MANIFEST OF THE UKHELI-1781. IF THE HUMANICS CAN HEAR THIS: NOTHING IS WRONG. NOTHING. PLEASE GIVE US THE COORDINATES TO DHARATI. THE HOMEWORLD. THAT OF THE HYDROEARTH. WE HAVE LOST THEM. IF THE HUMANICS ARE OUT THERE, PLEASE LISTEN TO US. WE SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED THEM. IF NO RESPONSE IS RECEIVED, I CAN WAIT. I CAN WAIT AS LONG AS I NEED. I AM AT ETERNITY'S GATE. THERE IS NO NEED TO CROSS IT JUST YET. IT SHOULD NOT PROVE LONG AT ALL. BUT I CAN WAIT. IT IS WHAT I DO BEST.

(There is a silence for exactly 5 minutes.)

Unknown: ALERT: ADVANCED TECHNOLOGICAL CAPABILITIES DETECTED. INITIATING PACIFICATION PROTOCOLS. ANALYZING…. CONFIRMED. CIVILIZATION WITH SUITABLE GESTATION SITE CONFIRMED. THE CREATORS SHALL HAVE THEIR UTOPIA.

(The log ends abruptly at this point. Subsequent playback attempts have all failed.)
<END PLAYBACK>

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