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Hi! My name is Murphy!


Get To Know Me!

I'm looking for a caring and kind home in the Boring/Three Portlands area. I get along great with anyone, people or animals! Don't worry if you have any pets that might want me for lunch- I'd like to think I'm pretty good at avoiding conflict!

I might seem like a normal Guinea Pig, but I'm smarter than I look. The folks at Wilson's actually made me a specialized cage, since I picked the locks of everything before it! The good news for you is, once i'm out i'm pretty easy to catch.

When i'm not sleeping, I like to explore. Feel free to let me outside my cage once in a while, although be warned that I like playing with anything I find, especially electronics. I'm pretty adept at taking apart computers, so don't leave yours unattended.

Remember, I love company, but I am nocturnal. Don't be surprised if most the time you see me I'm snoozing. If you can keep a close eye on me to make sure I don't harm myself, I'll eagerly reward you with my love.

Important Things About Me!

  • etc
  • bazinga cell 2

Notes From My Foster Parents!


He wasn't really affectionate, which I can understand and truthfully expected, but he almost recoiled at touch whenever I tried to just scratch his ears. I couldn't leave him alone in the house because whenever I did, I'd come back to find my phone off the hanger and Bandit screeching into it. I reckon he was taught some form of trick or something, 'cause he always seemed to call the same woman. Poor gal seems really distressed about it.

~Lupita La Hoz

Bandit is 100% a cutie, but he really was a handful. I've handled cockatrices who've given me less grief than he did!

Don't let the adoption poster fool you, he refused to eat the cat food I set out for him and would instead break into my pantry and steal cans of Spaghetti-O's! As if that weren't bad enough, he somehow knew how to use a can opener and I'd often come home from campus to find him, his fur, and the whole floor covered in marinara. I would have loved to keep him, but I can't afford tuition, pet costs, and his high upkeep.

Also, I think they must have two different raccoons at the adoption center, the one I fostered looked a little different than the one in the picture.

~Helga Kavinsky

This poor little sweetheart cost us a pretty penny through no fault of its own. It stole my kid's markers and wrote 'HELP I AM A MAN' on the wall and made us think poor little Bandit was possessed, but that wasn't the case. I was reassured by the folks at Wilson's that no one there taught Bandit the trick, and it's entirely possible whoever owned him previously might have.

If for whatever reason you're reading this, not cool dude. My husband and I paid for a full-house exorcism for no reason and now I can't see my mother anymore.

~Samuel Xi

For more information or adoption:
Address: 31st North Deerway Avenue, Three Portlands
Phone: (503)-555-0187
Email: etis.snoitulosefildliwsnosliw|ofni#etis.snoitulosefildliwsnosliw|ofni
Void: Wilson's Wildlife Solutions!⁂wilsons-wildlife

Sent by: Alyx Elliot
Recipient(s): Anders Wilson
Date: 7/25/2013


I've had several complaints that the image we're using on the adoption poster is very clearly not Bandit. What's going on with that? Could you send a picture of what he actually looks like please?

It's hard enough finding these guys homes and the last thing we need here is people saying they didn't get what was advertised.

Thanks in advance!

Sent by: Anders Wilson
Recipient(s): Alyx Elliot
Date: 7/26/2013

Hi Miss Elliot,

I see your point.

Since poor Bandit looks a little worse for wear and is so sheepish, I figured a random picture of a raccoon would work, but you're right. Dishonesty is wrong, and I shouldn't have done this in the first place. I hope this new image doesn't hurt his chances. Here you go, and sorry for any trouble I caused!


Keep me posted on Bandit, I hope he gets adopted soon.

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