A Very Pretty Bird
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Fig 1.1: SCP-3199-J. A very, very pretty bird.

Item #: SCP-3199-J

Object Class: Prettiest Bird

Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Site 3199-J has been established to contain has been provided for SCP Researcher Site-Director Overseer Administrator Supreme Chancellor and Prettiest Bird 3199-J1 to use as it sees fit. A sixty kilometer perimeter is to be maintained around the site its kingdom at all times.

If confronted by SCP-3199-J, personnel are reminded to avoid direct eye-contact or sudden movements. They are to provide it with whatever it desires while verbally confirming multiple times that SCP-3199-J is a pretty bird2 and slowly backing away until they exit the room.

Personnel are to be reminded daily that SCP-3199-J is a very pretty bird.3

Description: SCP-3199-J is an adult male cassowary (or Struthio casuarius). Cassowaries are large, flightless4 birds native to the tropical forests of New Guinea and northeastern Australia. SCP-3199-J is 1.8 meters tall and weighs approximately 45 kilograms.5

SCP-3199-J is anomalously pretty.6 Exhaustive study and quantitative analysis has determined that SCP-3199-J is, in fact, the prettiest of all birds.

Outside of this, there is absolutely nothing strange or unusual about SCP-3199-J whatsoever (discounting its prettiness).

Addendum 3199.1: Initial Discovery


DATE: 2018/12/18
RECOVERY LEAD: Commander Robert Malthus


[Camera feed shows the interior of a Foundation site. A door is directly ahead. Two heavily armed Foundation personnel (ALPHA and BETA) flank the camera on either side.]

MALTHUS: Breaching.

[MALTHUS attaches a small explosive device to the door's hinges. He steps back.]


[ALPHA and BETA step out of view.]

ALPHA: Clear!

BETA: Clear!

[The charges detonate. A cloud of debris fills the view.]

MALTHUS: Cover me!

[The camera moves forward. As smoke clears, SCP-3199-J can be seen standing in the corner of the office. It does not move.]

[It stares at MALTHUS.]

ALPHA: Shit, there it is —

MALTHUS: Don't move!

[MALTHUS aims his automatic rifle at SCP-3199-J. SCP-3199-J does not respond.]

ALPHA: It's just — it's just staring at you.

BETA: It's just a bird?

MALTHUS: An ugly one. Control, this is Gamma-Team. You copy?

RADIO: Gamma, this is Control.

ALPHA: Shit, I was expecting it'd at least be a chicken or something.

BETA: Hey, what —

MALTHUS: We have the thing in our sights. It's some sort of ugly bird.

BETA: What's that under its feet?

[MALTHUS hesitates; the camera dips down to look at the ground. There is a piece of paper under one of SCP-3199-J's claws.]

RADIO: We copy, Gamma. Maintain your position.

[BETA steps forward, crouching next to SCP-3199-J. SCP-3199-J does not move. It continues to stare at MALTHUS.]

MALTHUS: Beta, be careful.

BETA: I think I can — one sec —

[BETA grabs the paper and pulls it out from under SCP-3199-J. SCP-3199-J still does not move.]

BETA: — there we go. This is — uh. Uh…


[BETA lifts the paper to MALTHUS. It is a picture of two smiling children.]

BETA: Isn't this… aren't these your kids?

[Several seconds of silence.]

[SCP-3199-J continues to stare at MALTHUS.]

ALPHA: (whispering) Jesus fuck.

[The camera zooms in toward SCP-3199-J. As it does, the aperture comes into focus; in the center of its pupil floats the image of a tiny, pale human skull.]

[MALTHUS steps back.]

MALTHUS: (whispering) …p-pretty bird.

RADIO: Gamma-Team, what's your status?

MALTHUS: (backing away from SCP-3199-J) We've got a pretty bird, Control.

ALPHA: (backing away) Very pretty.

BETA: (backing away) The prettiest.

[All three members of GAMMA TEAM back out of the room.]


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