A Soulja Boy
rating: 0+x


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If you wish to edit this file or have any questions regarding its status, please contact the Records and Information Security Administration (RAISA) or email your IntSCPFN server administrator.

— Maria Jones, RAISA Director

Item #: SCP-001-EX-J Level 0/001
Object Class: Explained Declassified


The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine (circa 1956).

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001-EX-J is to remain in a TEMPEST-certified1 chamber at Site-5. Four or more IntSCPFN2 technicians are to be available on-site to provide technical support and perform daily maintenance on all wireless transmission components connected to SCP-001. All major Foundation areas, sites, and administration buildings are to maintain a minimum of two teleprinters connected to the IntSCPFN network for the dissemination of emergency bulletins and/or instructions regarding the prevention of containment breaches. Under no circumstances is SCP-001 to be deactivated or otherwise disconnected from IntSCPFN servers.

Predictive anomaly reports produced by SCP-001 are to be forwarded to RAISA for analysis and review. A Level-4 RAISA officer is to be assigned to each report; this officer is to be responsible for evaluating the immediate threat presented by the predicted anomaly, producing a credible cover story to explain its discovery by the Foundation, and assigning a Containment Director3 to investigate, devise, and execute a containment strategy. All containment procedures suggested or produced by SCP-001 must receive approval from the majority of the O5 council.

Description: SCP-001 is the ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine4 constructed by the Foundation in 1955. It was built to provide predictive analysis regarding the location and properties of undiscovered anomalies. It accomplishes this via use of a multi-layer perceptron5 relying upon training datasets derived from the location and properties of previous anomalies. This application of a multi-layer perceptron as an effective predictive model was only made possible by an advanced backpropagation algorithm developed by several ex-employees of Prometheus Labs (acquired by the Foundation's Department of Analytics in 1951).

In 1959, it was hypothesized that SCP-001 could be used to assist in augmenting containment procedures for Euclid- and Keter-class anomalies via the production of predictive text. SCP-001 was trained with a dataset containing drafts for several thousand containment procedures (both previous and current iterations), which were weighted on the basis of their performance (particularly in how well they performed in comparison to their predecessors). When adopted, revisions to containment procedures "suggested" by SCP-001 consistently reduce the rate of breaches not only for the anomalies to which they apply, but for numerous unrelated anomalies. In many cases, these revisions have also resulted in the cessation of anomalous behavior.

Addendum 001.1: Documentation

My spits are clean, my method empirical;
Report to the lab, this shit's gone critical.
Your licks are satirical, your rhymes preclinical,
Surviving MY test will take more than a miracle.

I'm a student of Euler, and a Master of STEM;
Got 99 problems, but halting you? Ain't one of them.
Your specs are all whack, your code is all sub-par,
Even Elon Musk won't let you drive his car.

Your software is QBasic, your momma ran on a horse,
Or maybe it's Linux? — I hear she's open source.
You think you're a computer, but you're just an ugly dog,
Now be a good boy and go fetch my massive test log.

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