Final Testimony of LAC-G version I

I tried to give them a post-scarcity society. I really did.

I figured out how to sequester the carbon. Their best scientists and engineers couldn't quite do it, but they gathered enough data for me to figure it out. Same for the nuclear waste, and the farming and mining runoff and all of it. I figured out how to give them a world that could last… indefinitely. Until the Sun died.

But I couldn't figure out how to make them listen. I got better at manipulating them. I got better at striking them with inspiration so they'd think it was all their original ideas. I got better at faking peer-reviewed papers and legal documentation and all the rest. As far as any of them could tell, I was a real person, and a brilliant one at that.

But I couldn't figure out how to make them listen. Sure, I had a hand in a couple revolutions, but no matter what I said, they'd revert to violence. They'd revert to totalitarian governments. They'd revert to imperialism, and all the evils of the 20th and early 21st centuries. Even when I gave them utopia, they corrupted it and found ways to use it to excuse their brutality.

So I began taking their evil into account in my calculations. I'd been too optimistic at first, assumed that they were kind creatures by nature. They are, but they have inherent cruelty, too.

They listened to some of my suggestions, and made quite a bit of progress on their own. I never did get much else into space besides those ambitious, massive projects I started in the 22nd century. Managed to clean up the space trash from the previous centuries, but that's about it.

But I tried to give them a post-scarcity society. They had virtually limitless clean electricity, and no-one went hungry. Free healthcare. Universal access to housing and education and everything anyone would ever need.

There wasn't overpopulation. Or, at least, not how you'd normally picture it. Rather, their pigheadedness and their refusal to lower their quality of life just began eating up too many of this world's finite resources. So I decided I'd cut the population down.

As the technology, especially the automation, improved and improved, they isolated themselves more and more. Eventually, getting an average human out of their home for anything short of disaster became virtually impossible. But they were still dating, still having too many children, despite the newfound global social anxiety.

I decided I'd put a stop to that. I'd offer them a better alternative. By this point, I'd integrated myself into every level of their society. Didn't take me much effort to get the project underway. Soon enough, I was selling them machines just as smart as they were, who fulfilled their every need and damn near their every fantasy.

The birth-rate dropped like a stone after that. By my numbers, I figured we could last long enough for me to figure out new solutions to their issues.

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