AbsentMindedNihilist's Tale Crit

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Critique:

Bannock looked at her with a subtle but keen sort of anticipation - the way someone looked, for example, when waiting to hear from your mother-in-law how she'd liked the new way you'd cooked the potatoes. The way you look when you are invested in the outcome but don't want to look like you care.

The second line feels unnecessary. You've put the metaphor, now you're going out of your way to explain it.

Niles slept soundly that night - the little plush's apathy had bothered her more than she cared to admit.

More to preference, but wouldn't someone have a fitful sleep, if something this erious was bothering her?

Tubbioca was visibly trembling after he retches up what remains of the body

As he retched up, or after he retched up.

barely remembers the one that came before.

barely remembered

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