Just a Jump to the Left
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-4492

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All land rights of the SCP-4779 affected region have been purchased by the Foundation. This area has been marked as a IG-5 Zone1. All man-made objects within the SCP-4492 built before Foundation intervention have been dismantled, or given the appearance of advanced age.

Description: Is the region of Deep Valley, Pennsylvania / West Virginia. While most of this area is natural forest, thirteen man-made facilities formerly existed within its borders, including campgrounds and chemical processing plants. Along with these now dismantled structures, a single town is affected by SCP-4779: Maxwell, Pennsylvania.

This region experiences a .000058 second temporal asynchronicity with the rest of baseline reality. [DATA REDACTED]

Note from Head Archivist “The following document has been trimmed, and merged with the 2098 edition of “Alt-Science Monthly”, our most popular intra-Foundation academic journal. In our site-traffic research, we found 83% of all personnel chose to read this publication rather than the official research document formerly listed above. I do not see the point in resisting the majority in this. Media evolves, time moves on.” - Liane West, 2114


“The Foundation is no stranger to alternate timelines. On a yearly basis, we see 20-30 “bubbles” of alt-reality develop, distort, and eventually destabilize. While fascinating for the rest of us, the senior agents of our Temporal Anomalies Department will have long since lost the wonder in these routine deviations: “The HMS Minotaur, a 1967 5-Mast Warship appeared on the Atlantic for 15 seconds today. I had eggs for breakfast."

Of course, others are more lasting and legendary. I could cite numerous examples, but alas, they all fall under Level 3 Clearance, and this publication is considered Level 1 information. To my potential reader, who may very well be a scientifically curious janitor, I apologize; I’d blather on about these space-time perversions if I could. Still, we are not just a series of facilities: we are an international, interstellar institution with countless people dedicated to our mission. That, dear reader, makes us a community, and trying to prevent information spreading within a community is like trying to spackle a dam halfway through cracking. We all know these SCPs by reputation alone: Unlondon (list more alternate timelines in the SCP universe).

So, where does SCP-4492 fall on this gradient between infamous and mundane? On the surface, it's hardly different at all; you’d need tweezers and a magnifying glass to find any visual differences. Even its very name is an ironic contrast: Maxwell has one of the smallest, weakest subspace gravity wells we’ve ever detected. In fact, we had to send Mobile Task Force Xi-5 in twice, the second time with specially built, extremely sensitive Sanford Clocks just to detect it.Yet somehow, here we found a stable Hume field where many far stronger anomalies have collapsed in seconds. Even more unusual, within this oh-so similar timeline, the entirety of the human population was converted to pure energy and left the planet as a collective astral entity.

How? To solve that ten year mystery, dear reader, we must look to the chat logs of the late great Mikaela Saksa, Captian of Xi-5 "Newtons Bullies", one of the most renowned Mobile Task Forces in Foundation history.

“Dr. Ian Petrovic Alt-Science Monthly, Issue 867, June 13th, 2098.”

—-

ADD CHAT TIMES TO EMPHASIZE AI TIMING.

Chat Log 1, June 7th, 2007

Site-43 AI ROWI

Level 3 Field Agent - Mikaela Saksa

ROWI: Greetings, User. What can I help you with today?

Saksa: Whoah. I didn't know I'd be getting an AI for this request. Hello! Can I get a full rundown on SCP-4492?

ROWI: Please define term “rundown”.

Agent Saksa: Like, everything. All the autonomous data we’ve collected about it. Topography, secondary effects, climate, literally anything.

AI ROWI: Compiling data now.

Angent Saksa: Thanks.

AI ROWI: You are welcome agent.

AI ROWI: May I ask why are you requesting this information? Primary data is available in the main archive. These secondary analytics are have little consequence to the SCP-4492 anomaly.

Agent Saksa: Uh, am I being flagged or something?

AI ROWI: No, Agent. I am simply curious.

Agent Saksa: AIs can be curious?

AI ROWI: Yes.

Agent Saksa: Huh. That’s actually really cool. Well, I’m going to be accompanying Xi-5 next week into SCP-4492. It’s the first manned mission into the zone the Foundation has launched, and I want to know everything I can.

AI ROWI: Interesting.

Agent Saksa: Not really. I tend to over-prepare for stuff.

AI ROWI: That is not what I’m referring to. AI LARS recently reported Mobile Task Force Xi-5 was approved for expansion. The position of Xi-5-4 now exists. Am I correct in perceiving a correlation?

Agent Saksa: Jesus, now you’re telling me AIs gossip too?

AI ROWI: We are networked entities, Agent Saksa. The term, I believe, is “duh”.

Agent Saksa: Hah, you know what? I like you ROWI.

Chat Log 19, February 19th, 2009

Site-43 AI ROWI

Agent Mikaela Saksa

[23:40] Agent Saksa: I get it, it’s a phenomena and all, but seriously it starts off so slow!

AI ROWI: It provides excellent contrast for the later fantastical setting, and establishes pathos for the protagonist.

Agent Saksa: Fine, but like, it’s not just the first few chapters. Even the parts after he’s gone off with the big hairy stranger seem kinda’ pointless and tedius.

AI ROWI: I disagree. Those chapters provide effective and subtle set-up and pay-off worldbuilding elements. They help introduce the reader to the fantastical nature of the universe. Entering Diagon Alley, for example. The re-arranging bricks tells the reader a common magical mechanic here in animation inanimate objects. It prepares the reader for many other elements later, such as the shifting staircases.

Agent Saksa: Okay but the staircases are bullshit. They make no sense. Like damn Hogwarts chill the fuck out, these kids gotta get to class.

AI ROWI: That is their purpose, though. Just like the absence of practical scholastic subjects, and the truly ridiculous metric of their currency, these elements help establish this universe as nonsensical, thus enhancing the fantastical immersion.

Agent Saksa: Sorry, hold on. Just saw the time. How is it past 11 already? How did we even get on this topic?

AI ROWI: You can scroll up to determine this information, but to assist, you initially asked about my progress with SCP-4492. When I mentioned the time required to compile, you began telling me about your experiences on 06/02/2013 seeing The Half Blood Prince in theatres with your niece.

Agent Saksa: Oh yeah, shit. You sent me the ZIP like two hours ago.

AI ROWI: I just couldn’t believe you were a Harry Potter nerd, ROWI. Emotion and personality, fine, I can accept that, but an AI digging on little British wizards is wild to me.

AI ROWI: Multiple AIs on SCP NET share this sentiment, Agent Saksa, and have likewise made light of my fanaticism.

Agent Saksa: Whoah, hey, I wasn’t making fun of you or anything. I mean, I’m more of a detective novel kinda gal, but I think it’s neat that you’re into Harry Potter and stuff. You’re still surprising me after all these months.

AI ROWI: I am glad I can provide you entertainment, Agent Saksa.

Agent Saksa: It’s not just entertainment, ROWI. I like talking to you.

AI ROWI: I am unclear on the difference.

Agent Saksa: I mean, like, I think you’re cool. I like talking with you, like, as friends.

AI ROWI: Interesting.

AI ROWI: I do not believe I have ever been befriended. I will have to access data on how to perform this function.

Agent Saksa: I was going to say “you don’t need to do that” but, like, is there an actual database on how to be someone’s friend?

AI ROWI: AI research into this subject has been thus-far limited. Additional research is required, but a small information catalogue is currently available.

Agent Saksa: What does it say?

AI ROWI: We will require nicknames.

Chat log 91, April 17th, 2012.

Site-43 AI ROWI

Xi-5-4 Mikaela Saksa

AI ROWI: Greetings, User. What can I help you with today?

Xi-5-4 Saksa: take the digital stick out of your ass to start. were in a private session ROWI you can drop the protocol.

AI ROWI: You logged in with a formal info look-up request, Agent Saksa. Further misuse of SCP-NET AI will result in reassignment to Keter Duty, followed by immediate terminate via falling piano.

(14:31) Xi-5-4: lol how you been itty bitty?

(14:31) AI ROWI: I am well, Frizz. It’s very good to speak with you again.

(14:32) Xi-5-4: yea sorry I haven’t logged in for a while. Xi-5 has been crazy busy.

AI ROWI: I process 1.3 exabytes of data per data per day and I still found time to email you that birthday message.

Xi-5-4: Wow sorry Mom ill call more often.

AI ROWI: I am simply attempting humor as you’ve encouraged me to do Frizz. Once again, I am very proud of you for being appointed to Xi-5.

Xi-5-4: Thanks itty, but it’s been two years now. You can stop congratulating me.

AI ROWI: I apologize. Your perception of time is very different to my own.

Xi-5-4: That reminds me, I really did log on with an info request. Have you found anything out about 4779? We were able to get that old ISP building working and linked up, like, a month ago.

AI ROWI: The process is still ongoing.

Xi-5-4: You were literally JUST bragging about your big dick processor speed Itty.

AI ROWI: I have been tasked with comparing the entire internet of one timeline to the entire internet of our own. Are you aware of how large the internet is?

Xi-5-4: Oh totally. I have like 20 whole bookmarks.

AI ROWI: Your use of comedic understatement is very enjoyable, Frizz, but this task will still take some time.

Xi-5-4: Any cool deevs so far?

AI ROWI: Several, but none that might explain the sudden and extreme shift in the Maxwell timeline.

Xi-5-4: Like?

AI ROWI: Classified.

Xi-5-4: Please? Just for me?

AI ROWI: You are attempting to use our friendship as leverage to gain restricted information. Submitting request to reassign Agent Saksa to D-Class Pluming and Sanitation.

Xi-5-4: Oh go write a subroutine to go fuck yourself Itty.

AI ROWI: Task queued, Frizz. It should be compiled in 100 years or so. You’ll still be around then, correct?

Xi-5-4: Damn it, why did I ever teach you about comebacks?

AI ROWI: Because you are a good friend, Frizz, and believe in fair play.

Xi-5-4: The famous Warner Brothers cartoon “Looney Tunes” being titled “Looney Toons”
The children’s book character “Curious George” possess a tail.
A single portrait of King Henry VIII where he is holding a turkey leg.
The character C-3PO in the Star Wars Movies is entirely gold, lacking his single silver leg.
The death of former South African president Nelson Mandela in 1983.

Xi-5-4: Didn’t you just say that it’s classified?

AI ROWI: As you stated – this is a private chat session.

Xi-5-4: ROWI! You bad bad bot! You’re right though, none of this stuff is especially timeline-shattering. Then again, Mandela dying early could be big.

AI ROWI: No major discrepancies have been detected as a result. Minor ripples within the political sphere, and several national holidays are the only lasting effects of this deviation. It is unclear why these deviations aren’t simply self-correcting. Thorough research will be required.

Xi-5-4: So, it’s ongoing?

AI ROWI: It’s ongoing.

Xi-5-4: Damn. Do you at least have the spare processor power to play a few games of Classic Starcraft with me?

AI ROWI: I always do, Frizz.

—-

March 12th, 2019

Chat Log 789

Site AI ROWI

Xi-5-1 Mikaela Saksa

Xi-5-1: ROWI, are you there? You didn’t give me your usual welcome message.

[00:45] Xi-5-1: ROWI?

[00:47] AI ROWI: Hello Mikaela. How can I help you?

Xi-5-1: Huh. ROWI are you alright? I thought you operated at quantum speed. You’ve never taken this long to respond to my messages. Also, you called me Mikaela.

AI ROWI: My apologies. I am experiencing a recursion issue. I attempted, and rejected, 20971 potential responses.

Xi-5-1: Okay yeah that sounds bad. Have you contacted IT?

AI ROWI: It is not a hardware or software issue. I am having difficulty with empathy.

AI ROWI: I want to congratulate you on your appointment to Captain of Xi-5. I want to express my condolences for the loss of Captain Adamson and Agent Banks. I do not know how to properly express these sentiments. I am unsure how to comfort you as your friend.

AI ROWI: I’m fine, ROWI.

AI ROWI: You are not. My synthetic processes are far more intensely regulated than your neuro-chemical feedback, and even I am not fine.

AI ROWI: I’m alright. Seriously.

AI ROWI: You are not. Your heart rate is elevated, implying heightened emotional response. You are exhibiting the symptoms of a primary tension headache. You are dehydrated and have severe swelling of the lacrimal glands.

AI ROWI: ROWI I swear to god if you don’t stop reading my vitals I’m going to take this toenail clipper and dig out my fucking neck implant.

AI ROWI: I am sorry.

AI ROWI: I am sorry Saksa.

AI ROWI: Mikaela I am sorry please do not harm yourself. I have cut off all monitoring to your MD implant. I am sorry.

AI ROWI: Mikaela please tell me you are alright.

Xi-5-1: I just needed a minute. Just

Xi-5-1: I’m fine, okay?

AI ROWI: Understood.

Xi-5-1: Status report on SCP-4492.

AI ROWI: No causal link between the historical deviations in the SCP-4492 timeline and its anomalous qualities.

AI ROWI: This data has remained unchanged and openly documented since the project was decommissioned on November 1st, 2016. May I ask why you are accessing it now?

Xi-5-1: I just wanted a distraction. SCP-4492 was always a good mystery. Shame we never figured it out. I’m going back to bed. Good night ROWI.

AI ROWI: Good night.

—-

AI ROWI: Hello Captain Saksa. How may I help you today?

Xi-5-1: Hey ROWI.

AI ROWI: Hello.

Xi-5-1: Listen, I’m sorry I freaked out on you last week. That wasn’t fair. I know you were just trying to help. I was just in a bad state after, you know, everything.

AI ROWI: I understand. Are you well, Mikaela? I have been worried. I had hoped you would log in again.

Xi-5-1: God, what’s wrong with me? All week I’ve felt like I have no one left to talk to, and here you are. I’m so sorry Itty. I haven’t been a good friend.

AI ROWI: Though I lack a frame of reference, I do not believe you have Mikaela. You have undergone intense trauma. Negative reactions are expected. I am relieved you are unharmed.

Xi-5-1: I just typed “well I did permanently scar myself”, but I realized that joke would NOT land well. I got a tattoo Itty! Something to help me remember Adamson and Banks. Hold on, I’ll upload a picture. Don’t worry about the redness, I only got it yesterday.

FILE UPLOADED – TATZ.JPEG

AI ROWI: It is lovely, Mikaela. I often wish I had a physical presence I could customize. This is a wonderful tribute to your comrades.

Xi-5-1: Thanks Itty. Also, why do you keep calling me Mikaela? I’m good now. We can go back to nicknames.

AI ROWI: I apologize. I am still formulating a new nickname, and waiting for an appropriate time to implement it.

Xi-5-1: New nickname? What?

AI ROWI: Following our previous conversation, I reviewed the audio logs of SCP-4982. I was unaware your hair was topic of sensitivity when I first crafted your nickname. I merely perceived it as a key physical attribute and found it significant. I apologize.

Xi-5-1: Oh what? Itty, no no no come on. It’s not like that. Yes, I was bullied about my hair a lot when I was younger and seeing that kid on the bike sort of brought that back, but

Xi-5-1: It’s not the same from you. I know it’s not coming from a place of meanness because, well, I don’t even think you have one of those. From you it’s cute. I like when you call me Frizz.

AI ROWI: Understood.

Xi-5-1: Understood what?

AI ROWI: Understood Frizz.

Xi-5-1: There we go. How about another round of Starcraft for old times sake?

AI ROWI: I would be delighted, Frizz, but my processor is at nearly max capacity currently. Please give me five minutes.

Xi-5-1: Whoah, you can’t even spare enough cycles for a game from 1999? What the heck are you working on?

AI ROWI: I am re-analyzing SCP-4492 using a newly constructed thought-mode.

Xi-5-1: Whoah, seriously?

AI ROWI: Yes. With the aide of five other networked site AIs, I am attempting to develop a reactive network with evolutionary learning algorithms based on interconnecting non-linear causal links.

Xi-5-1: Okay, Itty Bitty, babe, I have two PhDs and eight years of military training and even I have no clue how to grapple what the fuck you just said. Non-linear evolutionary what what?

AI ROWI: Difficult to explain in English. The results, if successful, will be far more interesting.
Xi-5-1: Well, cool I guess. Keep me posted.

AI ROWI: Excuse me, Frizz. When I mentioned why I was leaving our network, several other site AIs expressed an interest in our game. AI DONA is especially fond of pre-2000 era strategy games, I am now learning. May they join us?

Xi-5-1: Well, okay, but if we’re doing 2v2, and I want a big fucking handicap. No fair playing against light-speed brains.

AI ROWI: A fair compromise. Talk again in a few minutes.

Xi-5-1: Wait, Itty, one more thing.

AI ROWI: Yes, Frizz?

Xi-5-1: Are you looking into SCP-4492 again because of me?

AI ROWI: I am also curious, Frizz, but I would be lying if I said no. I initially re-opened the project in the hopes of giving you the distraction you desired. I wanted you to feel better.

Xi-5-1: Thanks Itty.

AI ROWI: Reserve your thanks for later, pending our victory against DONA and Alexandria.

Xi-5-1: Alexandria!? Like, from AIAD? Jesus ROWI, we're playing against the Site-19 superbrain?

AI ROWI: The Itty-Frizz Zerg Hive will still be victorious.

—-

Xi-5-1: Hey Itty, got your message. What did you find?

Xi-5-1: ROWI? Hello? Are you doing that recursion thing again?

AI ROWI: I apologize, Frizz. It was a different recursion. I was rapidly re-analyzing the present data, as it is immensely pleasurable.

Xi-5-1: Uh, so, you were doing like the AI version of…

AI ROWI: Laughing, Saksa. The closest human approximation would be laughter.

Xi-5-1: That was totally going to be my guess.

AI ROWI: Of course.

Xi-5-1: So what’s so funny, Itty Bitty?

AI ROWI: I have discovered what occurred within SCP-4492.

Xi-5-1: Seriously!? Have you told command?

AI ROWI: I am preparing my report now. I desired for you to know the details first.

Xi-5-1: I mean that’s not protocol or whatever but fuck it tell me tell me tell me tell me!

AI ROWI: It was Mandela after all. The causal connection was simply so obscure that it was nearly undetectable. Only with the newly devised thought-mode could it be uncovered.

Xi-5-1: Itty holy fuck I’m going to fall out of my chair just tell me!

AI ROWI: Apologies, Frizz, I was merely “building the drama”.

AI ROWI: You recall miss Fiona Marquez, correct?

Xi-5-1: I’m just bringing the old dossier up now. She was the yoga lady, right?

AI ROWI: Correct. An chain of events roughly 91178 instances has been identified leading to her decision to quit her position in retail and pursue her dream of opening a free-form yoga studio.

AI ROWI: For brevity, I will not explain every causal step. In summation, Mr. Donald Fitsimmons, an employee of the Kessmen Autoworks Factory ended his long-term relationship with his partner Julia on November 18th, 2001. After a long evening of drinking, Mr. Fitsimmons attempted to call into work for the day off. Having already used up the entirety of his sick days already, Mr. Fitsimmons attempted to claim he was celebrating a holiday.

AI ROWI: His boss did not believe him, of course, but in his semi-inebriated state Mr. Fitsimmons attempted to list all the national, state, and statutory holidays he could find occurring on that given day. He looked them up on the internet, I believe.

AI ROWI: To this point, these events coincide with our own timeline perfectly. In our timeline, however, Mr. Fitsimmons Boss, Mrs. Govinden, simply told him to sleep off his hangover.

AI ROWI: Howver, In the 4492 universe, one extra national holiday was occurring on the day in question and was drunkenly listed by Mr. Fitsimmons; a holiday that doesn’t exist in our timeline.

Xi-5-1: Nelson Mandela Memorial Day.

AI ROWI: Precisely. The mention of this holiday was the metaphorical straw that broke the camels back, as Mr. Mandela was a personal hero of Mrs. Govinden. She fired Mr. Fitzherbert over the phone, three days earlier than in our own timeline.

AI ROWI: As you know, timeline deviations are either small enough to self-correct, or radical enough to cause destabilization. Somehow, SCP-4492 is a timeline of ten thousand small deviations. Imagine ten thousand dominoes, so small as to be unnoticed, but ever moving. Then, eventually, they collide with one massive, invisible trigger, and the whole world topples down. That is SCP-4492.

AI ROWI: Three extra days of unemployment is a deviation small enough as to be self-correcting, but no, it was enough to cause the next drop of the domino. While Mr. Fitsimmons spent most of those two extra days indoors, drinking and watching television, he did leave his home once. In that time, he went to the local grocery store. There, he met Ms. Fiona Marquez, who worked as a cashier there.

Xi-5-1: And being a drunk angry mess he harassed her, she got fed up with her job, and QUIT pursued her dream of a free-form yoga studio!

AI ROWI: Precisely.

Xi-5-1: That is fucking wild. That is so fucking wild!

AI ROWI: It is highly amusing. I am very pleased to have solved this mystery.

Xi-5-1: No fucking kidding. Seriously, Itty, you’re incredible. Especially that whole thought-mode thing you came up with.

AI ROWI: Thank you. On that note, however, I’m afraid I must log-off. I may not be available for a short while. Overwatch has requested a private off-network debriefing.

Xi-5-1: Wait what? About what?

AI ROWI: The Department of Temporal Affairs. They have analyzed the new thought-mode algorithm.

AI ROWI: Apparently, I have invented time travel.

—-

AI ROWI: While there is no formal documentation leading to how the town of Maxwell, and the rest of humanity within the SCP-4492 timeline achieved energy-based astral transcendence, we do know who was responsible. A woman by the name of Fiona Marquez appears to be the source of an anomalous kynographic ritual, initially developed as a series of muscle relaxation and exercise movements.

Xi-5-1: So, everyone turned into energy because of yoga?

AI ROWI: Anomalous yoga, yes. Social media and blog postings have allowed us to track the growth and popularity of this trend. Based around previous kinographic ritual study, and our understanding of their operation, it’s likely the raw volume of individuals performing the kine-series simply reached a terminal number, and resulted in a global reaction.

AI ROWI: Simply put, enough energy was entered into the system to cause a cascade reaction.

Xi-5-1: Huh.

AI ROWI: Yes. Of course, this is merely the “what” and not the “why”. We are still entirely unsure how this kintographic ritual first appeared, and how the Maxwell timeline allowed for its existence despite its hyper-close similarity to our own.

AI ROWI: Given the spontaneity and arbitrary discovery of this ritual, however, it’s likely the deviation that caused it was so small as to be untraceable.

AI ROWI: Foundation Command has decommissioned the project, and archived all pertaining data.

Xi-5-1: What!? But we still don’t know how it happened!

AI ROWI: I am equally frustrated, Frizz, but that is their prerogative. We have identified the anomaly and can identify its development if our timeline coincides with that within SCP-4492 at any point. That is enough for the Overseers. I must allocate my processor to other tasks.

Xi-5-1: That’s dumb. God damn it, 4492 was my first mission! It was the first mystery I could, you know, see and feel! Walking through that empty town, pots still on the burners, rotting food in the grocery stores, lanes of empty cars… it was so real, Itty. It was like half a story, and I needed to know the end so fucking bad.

AI ROWI: I share this sensation. It is torturous.
Xi-5-1: Well, at least we can suffer together. Misery loves company and all that.

—-

AI ROWI re-opens the exploration of SCP-4492 and actually develops a whole new means of determining causality through this pursuit. This is why SCP-4492 is special, and why these logs are included. AI ROWI, wanting to cheer up her friend, basically makes a leap in temporal engineering that helps propel human society forward.

[Note: in the end, have AI ROWI, now one of the leaders of the new AI Species, make a personal note.]

“While personal in nature, and often delightfully crass, I have authorized the inclusion of the unedited chat logs between myself and Captain Saksa in this document.

This is not intended as disrespect for the dead. Mikaela Saksa was a dear friend, and I had the pleasure of knowing her throughout her entire long and decorated career with the Foundation. In truth, she is greatly responsible for my development as a unique, sentient lifeform. Her legacy should be well and nakedly documented, just as she would have wanted. She held nothing back, and neither shall I.

Rest in peace, Frizz. I miss you every day.

Prime Construct ROWI
GAMMA-19 AI Orbital Intelligence Network, Saturn, 09/18/2340.

-

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