It's Called A "Morgy"
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Morgue_in_Colmar-Berg_2017.jpg

SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX has been purchased and is now held as private property by a Foundation front company. All calls from SCP-XXXX are to be intercepted and redirected to a Foundation agent, who will field the call. Any refreshments ordered via this call are to be delivered to SCP-XXXX. Any noise originating from SCP-XXXX is to be explained with the cover story that adolescents were copulating in the nearby woods.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a morgue outside of New Haven, Minnesoda. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties manifest from 2200-0300 hours, during which time a subsection of the bodies housed in SCP-XXXX reanimate (henceforth designated SCP-XXXX-1 instances). SCP-XXXX-1 instances will proceed to decorate SCP-XXXX using easily accessible flora, detachable portions of unaffected bodies within SCP-XXXX, and tombstones. Once the facility has been suitably decorated, the instances will attempt to order refreshments from a nearby delivery service1. It is currently unknown how SCP-XXXX-1 instances are capable of vocalizing, due to their degraded vocal cords.

After either foodstuffs has been delivered, or all known options have been exhausted, the SCP-XXXX-1 instances will partake in collective sexual revelry to varying degrees of success. Instances will take any action necessary to stimulate their sexual organs, regardless of their physical state. In the most desperate of cases, instances will simply apply friction to the desired area. Fluids necessary to enact sexual acts manifest so all sexual organs2 are properly stimulated.

At the end of SCP-XXXX's activation period, all previously manifested fluids disappear, and SCP-XXXX-1 instances attempt to return SCP-XXXX to its original state before dying once again.

The anomaly was reported to the Foundation after a civilian attempted to deliver four pepperoni and sausage pizzas, two cheese pizzas and four liters of soda to SCP-XXXX during its activation period. The civilian was greeted by an instance of SCP-XXXX, and fled to the car before he could be paid. The situation was described as "terrifying, trippy, and kind of arousing".

Addendum SCP-XXXX-A: During regular observation of SCP-XXXX, an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 was seen exiting from the building. It was immediately captured to prevent a containment breach, but, after it was determined to be docile, the research team elected to interview the instance.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Troy: Evening.

SCP-XXXX-1: Yo, can you let me head back? Like, I don't know what this is about, but I have this hard-on and its driving me crazy.

Dr. Troy: Umm… well I'd like to ask you about that actually.

SCP-XXXX-1: My undead dick?

Dr. Troy: No no no. I want to know about the undead part.

SCP-XXXX-1: Well sorry doc, but all of us just kind of woke up here in these bodies.

Dr. Troy: That isn't your body?

SCP-XXXX-1: Nah. I'm a five-six red-head dude with an average dong. Not this.

Dr. Troy: Could you refrain from the penis comments?

SCP-XXXX-1: Sorry.

Dr. Troy: But, you're telling me you're not dead?

SCP-XXXX-1: No, I'm definitely dead. At least I'm pretty sure. Remember getting hit by that car pretty well.

Dr. Troy: I see… changing topics then. Can you tell me why you all copulate?

SCP-XXXX-1: Copulate?

Dr. Troy: Have sex.

SCP-XXXX-1: Oooh! Well, we already aren't wearing much. And like, I died a virgin. I remember thinking so much about like… wanting to fuck at least once in my life. I think the rest of us were in, like, the same situation. So, we just sorta boned each other. Heh, get it?

Dr. Troy: Yeah, no I… I get it. Why did you come outside then?

SCP-XXXX-1: Well, after getting sandwiched against three people for the past two hours, just thrusting where I could fit my big, pale friend, I felt like I needed some fresh air. Really regretting that decision.

Dr. Troy: Again, I don't need to hear anymore about your penis.

SCP-XXXX-1: Dude, I'm sorry but its all I can fucking think about. This hard-on has no off switch.

Dr. Troy: Ok, I think we've had enough. I'm ending this interview.

SCP-XXXX-1: Finally.

<End Log>

Addendum SCP-XXXX-B: The following is the transcript from an interview held with the previous owner of SCP-XXXX, Mr. Patrick Rogers. The interview occurred prior to the Foundation's enactment of current containment procedures.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Troy: Afternoon Mr. Rogers.

Mr. Rogers: Afternoon. And to what do I owe the pleasure?

Dr. Troy: I'm just here to ask you some questions about your morgue, Brother Roger's Funeral Services?

Mr. Rogers: Ah yes. What about it?

Dr. Troy: Have you noticed any… disturbances there recently?

Mr. Rogers: Nothing in particular.

Dr. Troy: No moved furniture?

Mr. Rogers: I don't believe so.

Dr. Troy: Nothing in the trashcans that shouldn't be there?

Mr. Rogers: Well, occasionally I find pizza boxes, or beer cans when I empty the outdoor receptacles. What are you getting at?

Dr. Troy: No uh… no bodily fluids within the facility?

Mr. Rogers: Bodily fluids? What do you believe happens in my morgue?

Dr. Troy: I'll take that as a no. Last question: you have not noticed any disturbances regarding the corpses?

Mr. Rogers: The corps— do you think… do think I've been sinning in the sacred resting place?

Dr. Troy: Wait, no. I'm not accusing you of anything. We just know there's been some noise complaints from the morgue and—

Mr. Rogers: Preposterous. How dare you insinuate that me, or any of my employees would dare commit such an act.

Dr. Troy: We're just investigating!

Mr. Rogers: You disgust me.

Mr. Rogers exits the room.

Dr. Troy: … you're the one that jumped to conclusions.

<End Log>

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