After gathering provisions, Lambda-5 leaves Smendal at approximately 0700 hours, moving West. After three hours of travel, they see smoke rise from the South. Lambda-5 decides to investigate. They arrive at a small cottage 30 minutes later, whose chimney is the source of the smoke. Hart kicks down the cottage door. Inside is a single bed, a table with three chairs, and a fire place. A young man (KAMH-1) sits up on the bed, while a girl (KAMH-2) stands from her chair. The KAMH-2 reaches for her bow, but stops when she notices that Tierez has aimed an arrow toward her.
KAMH-1: Woah woah woah. What’re you doing?
Hart: They’re civilians. Stand down.
KAMH-2: Stand down? You understand this isn't Call of Duty right?
Hart: We’re here to evacuate you. If you follow us we can guarantee your safety until we find the closest save point.
KAMH-2: Balls, Balls, Get a load of this. They think we need help!
KAMH-1: Arila, these guys don’t look like the average try-hard to me.
KAMH-2: What do you mean? We could totally take them. Reminds me of some dudes brought up on the IRC…
Dubois: Can we start this over? I feel like we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot.
Dubois enters the cottage, sword sheathed.
Dubois: I’m Edward Swordsworth. My buddies and I are part of a little group called the White Rabbits. Sorry about the intrusion earlier, we were just having some fun.
Dubois offers his hand to KAMH-2. She shakes it.
KAMH-2: Arila of /r/breadstapledtotrees. Or Arila for short. The number two—
KAMH-1: Three.
KAMH-2: Oh c’mon. Niner isn’t even here.
KAMH-1: He will be when we find him. You’re three.
KAMH-2: Fine. Number three member of The Knights Against Magical Herbs. [Points to KAMH-1] and he’s BallsDeep69.
KAMH-1: Actually, can you just call me Balls? The whole name just sounds cringey now.
Hart: How long have you been trapped in here?
KAMH-1: Only a few days.
Dubois: Well, we’re in the same boat then. Looking for a way out of this damn mess. You want to join us?
KAMH-1 exchanges a glance with KAMH-2, who shrugs.
KAMH-1: Have you run into any of the corrupted?
Dubois: Corrupted?
KAMH-1: You know, the creepy guys with the trollfaces and the glitched out bodies that look like their sprites got corrupted?
KAMH-2: I told you it wouldn’t catch on!
KAMH-1: That’s because we haven’t run into many people!
Hart: No, we haven’t seen any of them.
KAMH-1: Ok, then we better come with you.
KAMH-1 and KAMH-2 leave the cottage with Dubois.
KAMH-2: Where are you going anyways?
Hart: We’re searching for a “Save Point”. Do you have any leads?
KAMH-2: You check the cities?
Niles: Those are gone.
KAMH-1: Hmm… I remember using one in the mountains.
KAMH-2: Really? Wait, when was this?
KAMH-1: You weren’t online. It was like last Tuesday or something.
KAMH-2: You never told me about this. Up to no good with Niner? Don’t tell me you were trying to hack together a prank without me.
KAMH-1: Arila, you’re sounding like my mom.
KAMH-2: Eww. Gross. Fine I’ll stop.
Hart: In the mountains you said?
KAMH-1: Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll just show you.
KAMH-1 leads Lambda-5 toward the mountains, roughly northwest.
Feldspire: [To KAMH-2] So, you said you were looking for someone?
KAMH-2: Yeah. Niner. He’s like, the leader of our little trio? I dunno. He’s some big shot in a chat group Balls uses. He's super nice though. We've been playing games with him for like, years. Got us both free copies of this one, but don't ask me how. He's like some sorta super gamer hacker dude.
Feldspire: Super gamer hacker dude?
KAMH-2: Yeah yeah. Like, this one time, we were playing some LoL. And, like, half way through a game, he somehow got all the champions to look like fucking sesame street characters! I got the shit beat out of me by Big Bird, but it was hilarious.
Feldspire: Sounds like a like a fun guy.
KAMH-2: You bet he was.
KAMH-2 continues to talk to Feldspire about the “Knights Against Magical Herbs”. The conversation is elided for brevity. Lambda-5 passes by five different destroyed settlements/towns with afflictions similar to those found in the original spawn location. At approximately 1700 hours, KAMH-1 stops the group. The mountains are estimated to be an hour's walk away.
KAMH-1: Ok, we should probably stop here.
Hart: Why?
KAMH-1: Well, uh… we probably shouldn’t be in the mountains when it gets dark out. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t found a single mob all day.
Hart: Yes, that’s true.
KAMH-1: The spawn system seems to have gotten all kinds of fucked up ever since a few days ago. Monsters only spawn at night now. And they’re almost always corrupted. We don’t want to be in the mountains fighting those guys, since the terrain is foreign and I’m like 95% sure they get a stat boost or something.
Hart: Alright. We’ll make a camp here then. Not that there’s much to do, but if we don’t want to be caught up in a shit storm inside the mountains, we should also make sure we aren’t nearby them. Tierez and I will take first watch. Dubois and Niles will take second watch. Feldspire and I can take third watch.
Night falls thirty minutes later. Feldspire does not sleep with everyone else, and instead stays awake.
Tierez: Something wrong Feldspire?
Feldspire: [whispers] Are you guys sure that Balls and Arila are asleep?
Hart and Tierez nod.
Feldspire: Ok… I’m not so sure about these guys.
Hart: How so?
Feldspire: They're just so young, and don't seem to be taking this seriously. I’m unconvinced they aren't just screwing with us.
Hart: I understand that, but there’s much we can do about it.
Tierez: Are you sure? They could screw up our entire operation.
Hart: So far, they're the only ones who seem to know where the last Save Point is.
Tierez: But what if they’re dangerous? Or try to pull some funny business?
Feldspire: Hey. Guys. Top of the hill at our nine.
Feldspire points to a group of tall, dark humanoid figures. A red bar hovers above each figure. Parts of the figures appear to be pixilated. They begin to move toward Lambda-5 without the use of their limbs. The face of each figure is contorted into an abnormally wide smile.
Hart: [Shouts] Everyone up!
Niles: What is it?
Hart: [Points to figures] We got tangos.
KAMH-2: Wow, you guys really get into this.
Tierez fires an arrow, which misses. Rest of Lambda-5 holds position in wait for the figures.
KAMH-1: Ok, Arila, you get the two on the right, I’ll get the rest.
KAMH-2: What? No! I get the the two on the right, and the three in the middle. You get the one on the left.
KAMH-1: Bet I’ll still beat you to ‘em.
KAMH-2: Loser buys the winner ice cream IRL?
KAMH-1: Deal.
KAMH-2 shoots an arrow into the head of a figure. The bar above it disappears and the figure explodes into a shower of multi-colored flakes. KAMH-1 charges directly at the figures with his sword.
Hart: Well, let’s give them backup.
Lambda-5 charges behind KAMH-1. Hand-to-hand fighting ensues. While attacks on the entity appear to connect, they do not have any visible effect. KAMH-1 attacks the heads of the figures and their health bars decrease. When the bar disappears, the figure explodes as described previously.
After three figures were terminated, one grabbed hold of Feldspire’s arm. Snapping noises could be heard, which correlated to the spontaneous compound fracture of Feldspire’s real life ulna and radius. On the video feeds, the gripped portion of the arm appears pixelated and inversely colored. When this portion moves, visual artifacts are left behind.
Feldspire: Fuck!
KAMH-2 fires an arrow into the chest of the figure, followed by a second arrow to its head. The figure explodes.
KAMH-2: Hey! Balls! You see that!
KAMH-1: Talk to me when you’re at two kills!
Feldspire moves away from the figures, holding her now pixelated and miscolored forearm. The fight continued for approximately ten more minutes. Due to the slow movements of the figures, further damage was avoided. The final figure is terminated by KAMH-1.
KAMH-1: It always bothers me how these guys have the same death animation as the players.
KAMH-1 and KAMH-2 gesture in the air in front of them, and their movements return to normal.
KAMH-1: And that’s three.
KAMH-2: Wait. I got three.
KAMH-1: Well… shit. That’s a tie?
KAMH-2: Fine. Tie.
Feldspire: Hey! Either of you jackasses got a splint?
Niles: I got you covered.
Feldspire: Thanks Niles.
KAMH-2 walks over to Tierez.
KAMH-2: Hey, hey. What are you guys using for controllers?
Tierez: Excuse me?
KAMH-2: Well, I’ve just never seen someone in this game fight so… so smoothly before. So like, what do you all use? Is it like some cool haptic set up? I’ve always wanted to try those gloves.
Tierez: I’m… I’m sorry. I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about. And I don’t quite understand how you’re so nonchalant while my friend has a broken arm.
KAMH-2: Oh, don’t be so serious. It’s just a game bro.
Tierez: But— Ah, yeah. You’re right. Just got caught up in the moment.
KAMH-2: So, what kind of controllers do you use?
Tierez: Our bodies, like with a Kinect.
KAMH-1 overhears Tierez and approaches.
KAMH-1: Wait, what? You fight like that?
Tierez: Yeah…
KAMH-1 pulls KAMH-2 away from Tierez and unsheathes his sword. Tierez arms himself as well.
KAMH-2: Balls, what are you—
KAMH-1: I knew there was something up with these guys. The way they talk, the way they look. The fact that a bunch of thirty year olds playing this game are normies. Hell, they look like they work out. And now they actually can fight? Like, without using a controller? I don’t know who they are, but they ain’t normal.
Tierez: Cap, we got a problem!
Hart, and Niles draw their weapons. Dubois walks toward KAMH-1 and KAMH-2. KAMH-1 is visibly shaking.
KAMH-1: Are you the guys who took Kektagon? Fuck.
KAMH-2: What are you talking about?
KAMH-1: I heard about these guys on the IRC. Or maybe they’re another set of guys. I don’t know. They’ve taken away a lot of my friend’s stuff. And they kidnapped Kektagon. Or maybe I’m thinking of other people.
KAMH-2: Balls, Balls. Calm the fuck down. It’s a goddamn video game.
KAMH-1: [shouts] And what if it’s not?
Dubois: Hey, hey Balls? Can you put the sword down? I know you might think we’re suspicious, and various contracts and things keep me from verifying anything you’ve said, but I don’t think you want to fight us in a two-vs-four.
KAMH-1: But… but…
Dubois: Besides, we all want the same thing. We all want out of this game, right?
KAMH-1 nods.
KAMH-2: I don’t know what your problem is right now, but dude. You’re almost crying. In a video game. Stop it.
KAMH-1 puts his sword away.
Dubois: Alright. It’s late. We’re all pretty tired. You two get some rest. It’s my turn to keep watch, so don’t worry about those Corrupted. I’ll wake you in the morning. Ok Balls?
KAMH-1: O-o-ok.
KAMH-1 and KAMH-2 return to where they were sleeping before. Niles, Tierez and Feldspire lay down and begin to sleep. Dubois takes a seat, and is joined by Hart.
Dubois: Little shits scared the crap out of me.
Hart: I never knew you were that good with kids.
Dubois: Eh, nothing special really. Got kids at home.
Hart: You did good regardless. Now go to sleep. It’s actually my watch.
Dubois: Yes Ma’am.
No further incident occurs during the night.