Thought Crustacean
rating: +2+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is a process by which ideas are generated. The steps of this process do not adhere to a set order, and are as follows:

  • Consumption of crustacean seafood
  • Documentation of daily events and thoughts (typically by way of journaling)
  • Documentation of dreams
  • Analysis of one's own neural activity1
  • Conscious observation of at least one crustacean

Daily commitment to these steps will induce daily ideas in a subject within a week. These ideas are almost always useful to the subject's immediate circumstances, and are highly regarded by the subject's peers in almost all cases.

SCP-XXXX was discovered by a collective of anartists, who had been using SCP-XXXX to inspire various artistic endeavors. An artistic movement (dubbed Oceanica) formed from the specific motifs exhibited by SCP-XXXX products, which quickly spread throughout the collective. This movement was notable for the high volume of work being produced in small amounts of time, as well as the works' anomalous popularity. Summations of these works have been logged below, along with the artists' captions.

Name: Are You Smarter Than A Lobster?

Content: A boiling swimming pool. While knee-deep in the water, observers are unable to perceive temperature.

Caption: A lobster will stay in water as it increases in temperature, even when it starts boiling. Scientists say that this is because lobsters aren't very smart, but after all, “ignorance is bliss.” Take a dive, and take your chances; the lobsters of the world can’t all be wrong.

Name: Shrimp Tank

Content: A miniature armoured vehicle with a shrimp inside. It is enclosed within a glass cage, and fired ammunition litters the ground. The tank does not appear to move with any sense of direction.

Caption: A shrimp in a tank. Watch the little guy drive it around. It's hilarious, seriously, he keeps running into the glass walls.

Name: Finnegan’s Wake

Content: A large pipe organ composed of crabmeat. Chitin lines each key and ganglia lines the rest of the construct. Despite its nonfunctional construction, the instrument plays and sounds as a regular pipe organ.

Caption: This one’s for a friend. Wherever you went, I hope you can hear me.

Name: Crabby

Content: A talking crab. It exhibits a great degree of frustration under all circumstances.

Caption: This Oceanic shit is pushing a goddamn line. There's nothing tying it together, nothing about it makes a lick of sense. Maybe I could get behind that, sure, a bunch of random crab art pushed out at the same time for unexplained reasons, but everyone has their own stupid-ass metaphors for the damn thing anyway. Nothing is remotely artistic about this. Everyone is getting their ideas from a fucking neurological vending machine in their heads, and all it stocks is a bunch of god damn crabs.

I can't resist the temptation to just go along with it anyway. Figures.

Addendum: SCP-XXXX Analysis

During research into the history of Oceanic artwork, it was revealed that prior to the Oceanica movement, the anartist collective responsible was originally a small group of 14 adolescents and young adults. The group's expansion only occurred after the disappearance of a then 17 year-old woman named Carol Finnegan, and the group's subsequent discovery of SCP-XXXX. An investigation was soon launched into Finnegan's disappearance. This investigation began with a series of interviews with the anartists who had known Finnegan prior to her disappearance. The last of these interviews is logged below.


DATE: 06/18/2019


INTERVIEWEE: Philip Diaz (former member of aforementioned anartist collective)


Dr. Maxwell: Hello, Diaz. I'm here to ask you a few questions.

Diaz: Sure, man.

Dr. Maxwell: About a woman named Carol Finnegan, specifically.

Diaz: … oh. Hm.

Dr. Maxwell: Is something the matter?

Diaz: Nah, just… didn't expect anyone to be asking about her. Especially not nowadays.

Dr. Maxwell: Why would that be?

Diaz: She disappeared, uh, 5 years ago? Somewhere around there. Even before then she wasn't exactly popular. I mean, we were the only people she ever talked to.

Dr. Maxwell: No other friends? Family?

Diaz: The only people, man.

Dr. Maxwell: Do you have any reason for why she might have disappeared?

Diaz: All I can give you is my cut of the story.

Dr. Maxwell: That would be appreciated, thank you.

Diaz: Well, before anything major happened we were just a group of friends, kind of like an after-school club. Some of us were out of school at the time, but it had the same feel to it, just a group of people with a common interest.

Dr. Maxwell: Anart.

Diaz: Mhm. Carol was one of us, and it was chill for the most part. Drawing, writing, sculpting, whatever we were doing we were doing. Eventually though, things got serious.

Dr. Maxwell: What do you mean, "serious?"

Diaz: The organizer of the whole thing, a kind of teacher. Ashley. She started critiquing our pieces. Nothing major at first, but eventually the environment changed. You couldn't just show up and dick around with a Penrose triangle, there were standards. I was against it. Some were with me, most weren't. We put up with it, because we were all friends after all. We liked the community. Carol, though… she took it a little differently.

Dr. Maxwell: Did she leave the group?

Diaz: Not at first, no, though she should've. Ashley really never liked her in the first place, but now she had an excuse to berate her all she wanted.

Dr. Maxwell: Why was that?

Diaz: Well, if you want me to be honest… Carol was pretty terrible at art.

Dr. Maxwell: And so Ashley disapproved of her membership?

Diaz: Yeah, but I'm exaggerating a little. Ashley wasn't nearly as big a problem for Carol as much as herself. Every time she came, it would get worse. She'd get chewed out by Ashley, get mad, bottle it up, excuse herself for a couple of minutes and come back even worse, day in and day out. I told her, you know. I told her to just pack up and leave for a while, at least a month. But she was so determined. She wanted the group's approval more than anything. As if we were important. We were a bunch of kids, and she was getting angrier and angrier and worse and worse and looking back now i can't blame her at all, with the shit they're doing nowadays. They have the fucking gall…

Dr. Maxwell: Diaz?

Diaz: Sorry. That was off-topic.

Dr. Maxwell: If you wish to end the inter-

Diaz: No. I'm fine, I was just rambling.

Dr. Maxwell: Alright, then. Continue at whatever pace you feel appropriate.

Diaz: Anyways, one day she pulled a little stunt.

Dr. Maxwell: A stunt?

Diaz: Whenever we'd host our critiques, share our art, whatever, she just shared some doodles of lobsters. I mean, not just lobsters, there were crabs, and, uh…

Dr. Maxwell: Crustaceans.

Diaz: Yeah, that's it. Crustacean doodles. Everyone took it differently; some people thought she was trying to, uh, I think they said something like "representing her uncertainty, adrift in a dark sea," some half-hearted high school analysis bullshit. Some people thought she was rebelling against Ashley and her suppression of art, or whatever. Most of us thought she was just at the end of her rope, injecting the last of her will into whatever she could scribble.

Dr. Maxwell: What do you think?

Diaz: Honestly? I think she was just showing us her best work.

Dr. Maxwell: How so?

Diaz: All of us loved it. The drawings, they were just cute little sea creatures. There was no pretense, none of the horse shit everyone was pumping out ever since Ashley wrung the creativity out of our art. And when I say all of us, of course, there was a single exception.

Dr. Maxwell: Is this when she disappeared?

Diaz: Yep. I can only hope she didn't do something stupid, That was when I left, too, along with the last good artists. I don't give a shit what's left of them now.

Dr. Maxwell: I see. Thank you for your time.

Diaz: No problem, man. It's been a while since I've talked about it, so thanks for that.


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