SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER HEART ATTACK
rating: 0+x

Name: Ada Krauss

Title: Cardiac Arrest

Material Requirements:

  • A large glass booth
  • A plastic chair
  • Rope (in my possession)
  • High fat foods (specially prepared)
  • An assistant
  • However many half-dead Nazis you can get (few in my possession)

Abstract: Strap a Nazi to a chair (Surgeon's Knot, double-tied) and force feed the creature some food. Baumstriezel, currywurst, schweinekrusten, spritzkuchen, don’t spare any expense; the greasier the better. Wait a couple of minutes and watch it fucking writhe in agony (cardiac arrest, to be specific). Rinse and repeat until you’ve got too many corpses, and then store them somewhere useful so you can do it some more.

Put it out there, too. One thing to kill Nazis wherever you can, but this thing’s gotta be public.

Intent: I'll spare you the excuses, the lies, the pretense. You know exactly what I intend to do here.

I'm fed up with Nazis roaming around Lichtenberg. In fact, I’ve been fed up with it for a while. As if just existing and being around wasn’t enough, now they have to go stealing shit and picking fights (more fights, at any rate). They've pushed SWJC Lichtenberg far enough, and I'm done sitting idly and seething. The Nazis are a problem, and I'm nothing if not a problem solver.

So here’s my humble solution. I wasn’t particularly feeling the typical elegance (gaudiness, perhaps) this time around; after all, if the Nazis are right about one thing, it’s that degenerate art is quite impractical.

And yes, I admit, force-feeding is a weird choice. But a greasy meal's the best way to stain a pure heart.

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