You Can Do Better
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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is an approximately 300-meter tall underground construct designed to mask specific concepts and phenomena on a global scale. SCP-XXXX operates via the maintenance of an antimemetic field surrounding the Earth; when active, this field causes humans 500 meters or more above the ground to be unaware of any abnormalities or unexpected phenomena within the area below.

SCP-XXXX-1 is the heart of Venedikt Vyesniyovich Velikovsky. Prior to 1984, Venedikt had been a 17 year old child living in Kuzomen, Russia. Venedikt, along with the rest of his family, was declared missing in October of 1984, when his house was found burned down.

SCP-XXXX was discovered by the Foundation in 1984. Using information obtained in various raids on paratech corporations and vigorous interrogation of paratech experts, the Foundation was able to determine the function of SCP-XXXX in 1994 as a device designed to generate antimemetic fields, targeting certain thoughts or ideas. Prior to Foundation interference, the device had been used to mask the concepts of Venedikt Velikovsky, arson within the city of Kuzomen, and parental pressure.

The composition of SCP-XXXX is entirely mechanical with the exception of SCP-XXXX-1. MTF-ς "Third Gear" was dispatched to SCP-XXXX in order to investigate its construction. The exploration log has been transcribed below.


DATE: 01/02/1995

PERSONNEL: Agent Arjun Kulkarni, Agent Andrew Yeung, Agent Diane Ellison


0:01: All agents check their mics and cameras.

0:06: Agents enter SCP-XXXX. The area appears severely rusty and neglected, appearing as the result of years of disuse.

0:16: Agents begin descending through the floors of SCP-XXXX. Mechanical noises can be heard from far away, from distances seemingly farther than the reaches of the construct.

0:28: Agents reach the third floor from the top of SCP-XXXX. The interior is far larger than the exterior, continuing on past the horizon. Agents are ordered to descend. They hesitate for 15 seconds, before continuing their descent.

0:48: While the agents continue descending floors, various noises are heard. Though the noises are clearly not mechanical in origin, the exact sounds cannot be determined due to the excessive reverberation within SCP-XXXX.

1:30: The sounds are now distinguishable. Among them are hacking coughs and wails, pencils scribbling, and a poorly performed rendition of Igor Stravinsky's Elegy on a viola. None of the agents are able to hear these noises.

1:54: Agent Yeung begins speaking in Russian. None of the agents had demonstrated any knowledge of Russian prior to the mission.

Yeung: Silence, Velikovsky. You would mock us with this failure?

The other agents do not react. Following this outburst, the sounds slowly fade out.

3:04: The sounds return, along with the sound of a door being slammed repeatedly. Agent Yeung appears to be enraged, now shouting in Russian.

Yeung: Enough of this childish behaviour! You are an adult now, Velikovsky. Why—

Following this, Yeung collapses to the ground, screaming in pain. It is assumed from available knowledge that Yeung believes himself to be on fire. Neither of the other agents realize this, nor do they turn back to aid him when instructed to. Agents Ellison and Kulkarni continue their descent.

3:35: All sounds with the exception of the door slamming fade out. Agent Kulkarni speaks, again in Russian.

Kulkarni: Venya, what are you doing? Where are you going? Who are those people, Venya? Venya?

The sound of doors opening is now audible.

4:04: Agent Kulkarni falls to the ground, believing himself to be on fire as well. Agent Ellison continues unimpeded.

5:45 Agent Ellison reaches the second lowest floor, crouching near the hatch leading to the bottom floor. She speaks in Russian.

Ellison: I'm sorry, Venya. I didn't know. I never heard anything, Venya. I never saw anything. Please, don't leave. Don't—

The sound of doors slamming and opening, as well as the sound of wooden floorboards creaking, now overpower Agent Ellison's voice. She attempts to open the hatch. As soon as she touches the handle, she begins screaming and convulsing. The sound of flames soon overtake all others, becoming the only audible sound, before the audio feed cuts out.


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