SCP-8253: "Opinarivore"
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The Location of Interest known as the Wanderers' Library, within which SCP-8253 currently resides.

Item #: SCP-8253

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8253 is currently located within the Local Branch1 of the Wanderers' Library2, at the request of several of the area's Librarians (who take the view that SCP-8253 is a rare example of naturally bibliothetic fauna, and should be preserved as such). The location theoretically contains copies of all written works ever produced, and so is sufficiently well-stocked to keep SCP-8253 sated indefinitely. The duty of care for the entity falls to the Library's staff, and requires little to no action on the part of the Foundation.

In the event that the containment of SCP-8253 requires direct Foundation intervention, MTF Sigma-3 ("Bibliographers") are to enter the Library via Extradimensional Site-06D, accompanied by Special Task Force Tau-Merriam ("True Neutrals"), a group of Foundation personnel selected for high levels of apathy, disinterest in current world affairs, and a general lack of polarising thoughts and opinions.

Current protocol is that, should SCP-8253 attempt to exit the Library, the relevant entryway will be immediately closed. If SCP-8253 exits successfully, Protocol BREWER-05 ("Late Returns Policy") will be enacted, a temporary entryway will be generated, and STF Tau-Merriam will lure the entity through with a trail of extremely vehement political literature.

Description: SCP-8253 is a large creature, approximately 6 metres in height, with skin composed of an unidentified material identical in appearance and texture to vellum. This material will deform and crease as expected, but cannot be torn or otherwise damaged — all attempted tests to-date have shown it to be abnormally tough and completely non-reactive.

Physically, SCP-8253 possesses the abdomen and limbs of an arachnid, attached to the upper body of a large tyrannosaur. SCP-8253 does not possess a pair of front limbs, but rather two pairs of enlarged pedipalps extending from the base of the jaw — it is via these that SCP-8253 manipulates objects in its vicinity and holds its prey in place. While not directly hostile to living organisms, the entity's sheer strength and lack of complex intelligence mean that it often poses an indirect threat to those in its vicinity, particularly when agitated or perturbed.

SCP-8253's primary anomalous property, aside from the obvious physical deviations, is its method of feeding. To the best of the Foundation's understanding, SCP-8253 is an opinarivore — it derives sustenance by consuming opinions. These can be presented in any form of readily accessible medium (although the entity appears to prefer extracting opinions from living subjects) and, once consumed, are completely removed from the medium or subject concerned. The process has been described as more akin to inhalation than eating, and visual accounts report streams of coloured smoke between the 'prey' and the entity's mouthparts. Attempts to take samples of this subject have so far been met with extreme resistance on the part of the entity.

Addendum: The following is an abridged record of SCP-8253's feeding events.

Date: 03/02/1960

Affected objects/entities: A copy of "The Last Hurrah", a political thriller by American novelist Dexter Carne.

Notes: The text was altered to remove the central theme of the futility of anarchy within a strongly capitalist system. The book retained the original length, word count and writing style, but now consists almost entirely of disconnected ramblings and descriptions of the protagonist's mundane daily activities.

Date: 15/06/1979

Affected objects/entities: Dr. Collins, Junior Researcher stationed at ES-06D.

Notes: Event lasted around four minutes, during which time Collins experienced repeated spasms and a partial loss of consciousness. After the event concluded, they reported possessing no strong feelings towards the Foundation, its staff, or anomalous objects in general. When asked whether they wished to retain their position as Foundation personnel, they responded indifferently.

Debates are currently ongoing about whether Collins should be removed from Foundation employ due to a lack of investment and loyalty, or promoted to HMCL supervisor due to a lack of empathy and emotional attachment.

Date: 20/04/1998

Affected objects/entities: A warning sign depicting a person being electrocuted, with the caption "WARNING".

Notes: Object altered appearance to display the victim shrugging, with the caption reading "OH WELL".

Date: 29/11/2001

Affected objects/entities: A copy of "The Long Arm of the Lore", an unpublished short story by Foundation Agent Donovan Beaufort, given to the entity under testing conditions.

Notes: No change, aside from the removal of a scene in Chapter II where the protagonist expresses their distaste for public transport — specifically the London subway system. Instead, the scene consists of the protagonist's brief conversation with a young homeless man, and has no effect on the outcome of the plot. Agent Beaufort reported that they weren't particularly "invested" in the character while writing the story, and in actual fact rather enjoyed the experience of public transport. Research into SCP-8253's ability to consume fictional opinions, as opposed to those of real entities, is ongoing.

Date: 12/06/2012

Affected objects/entities: A small portion of the Wanderers' Library's administrative archive.

Notes: SCP-8253 spent approximately two hours investigating the texts, and succeeded in extracting a small amount of pale grey smoke. The entity ultimately discarded them and reluctantly left the area in search of more opinionated sources. Further attempts to feed the entity clinical tone have met with similar results, though the Foundation's former tendency towards vehement notes and cautions have proven somewhat of a delicacy.

Date: ##/##/####

Affected objects/entities: The personal laptop of Researcher Doyle, who was conducting long-distance observation of SCP-8253's behavioural patterns. Doyle had been forced to abandon the device once the creature noticed his presence and began to approach at speed.

Notes: The first observed case of SCP-8253 interacting with digital media. Fluctuations in internet availability were recorded during the event, and large electromagnetic pulses were observed in the vicinity.

While SCP-8253 initially seemed extremely pleased with its acquisition of the object, the feeding process quickly deviated from the norm. The inhaled 'smoke', usually light and coloured, took on a thick, black quality, and SCP-8253 began to cough and hiss violently. After trying unsuccessfully to wrench itself away from the laptop, the entity repeatedly brought its head into contact with the nearby walls and bookshelves, eventually damaging the device to the point of unusability. SCP-8253 then retched, vomited copious quantities of an unidentified viscous black fluid, and fled the area.

Testing with the fluid produced during this event have shown it to have extremely potent mental effects on human subjects who ingest it, resulting in a long period of incoherent ranting followed by spontaneous brain death. Updates to containment procedures regarding the restriction of SCP-8253's access to the internet are pending.

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