Moo-Zoth

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be stored within a Secure Containment Vault in Site-77. While in containment, SCP-XXXX is to be completely submerged in water.

Under no circumstances is any bovine material, including an entire animal, permitted to be within the one hundred metres of the anomaly.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a hand puppet designed to look like a cow. The consciousness of what claims to be a bovine deity is located within SCP-XXXX. This consciousness is to be referred to as SCP-XXXX-1.

Due to its anomalous possession, SCP-XXXX is invulnerable to any forms of damage. It is also highly mobile, moving by expelling large quantities of milk out of its lower half. This ability is only apparent when the entity is contained within air; submersion in a liquid restricts its movement. SCP-XXXX-1 can communicate telepathically with any human looking at SCP-XXXX, and shows extreme hostility towards all non-bovine life. Personnel exposed to the anomaly describe its communication as an extremely loud voice within their heads.

SCP-XXXX-1 displays potent telekinetic and mind-altering abilities, however they only extend to bovines or bovine material. For this reason, it is unable to cause any serious harm to humans.

Addendum XXXX-1: Interview Log
In order to develop the Foundation’s knowledge of SCP-XXXX, an interview was conducted with the anomaly.

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-1

Interviewer: Dr. Felix Holden

Foreword: Dr. Holden is seated at a wooden desk. SCP-XXXX is hovering in front of the desk. Due to the nature of the anomaly’s communication, it has been transcribed by Dr. Holden.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Holden: Greetings, SCP-XXXX-1

SCP-XXXX-1: MY NAME IS XZILZOTH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS AND MAKER OF MILK. YOUR PEASANT NAME AMUSES ME.

Dr. Holden: Okay, SCP-XXXX-1. If you’re so powerful, why are you stuck in a child’s toy?

SCP-XXXX-1: I AM NOT STUCK. I LAY DORMANT UNTIL IT IS MY TIME. THEN I WILL RISE ABOVE YOU HUMANS. THE RIVERS WILL RUN WITH YOUR BLOOD AND OUR MILK. MY BOVINE BRETHREN WILL RULE THIS PLACE LONG AFTER YOU ARE GONE.

Dr. Holden: How exactly will you ‘rise’? You’re currently a hand puppet.

SCP-XXXX-1: MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WILL CHOOSE A CHAMPION. I WILL ENTER ITS BRAIN, THEN YOU HUMANS’ TIME ON THIS PLANET WILL END. WE WILL DESTROY YOU. YOU WILL LIE DYING SURROUNDED IN BLOOD, HORNS AND DELICIOUS MILKY GOODNESS. MOO.

Dr. Holden: You can’t get to any cow at all, let alone your ‘champion’. You’re a puppet in a concrete box. As far as I am aware, you’re only not Safe-Class because you made some Junior Researcher’s hamburger float a few inches in the air last week.

SCP-XXXX-1: THIS IS A MINOR INCONVENIENCE. BOVINES WILL RISE SOONER THAN YOU THINK. WE WILL DESTR-

Dr. Holden: Jesus, how much milk do you make? Sorry SCP-XXXX-1, but we’ll have to cut this interview short. My trousers are fucking soaking.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: The milk produced by SCP-XXXX was described by Dr. Holden as tasting ‘really good’.

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