Item #: SCP-3611
Object Class: Ticonderoga
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3611 is currently, until 2008, self-containing. However, Mobile Task Force Alpha-338 ("Get Down") are to read "Document Hodgenville" for more information on SCP-3611's containment.
Description: SCP-3611 is a humanoid entity, completely constructed out of a material that is theorized to be a wood/human flesh concentrate. SCP-3611 is puppet-like in design, possessing a mouth similar to that of a ventriloquist dummy, as well as having no hands or feet. The words "Mr. President, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" are printed on the palms of SCP-3611's hands. SCP-3611 is inactive and does not seem to be sentient while in this form.
When a specific set of numbers are spoken within 5 meters of SCP-3611, it will begin to physically transform. Depending on the numbers stated, SCP-3611 will transform to take the form a United States President; former or current. When transformed, SCP-3611 will the same mannerisms, behavior, and knowledge of the President it is transformed into. As such, it can be asked questions, and it will answer on a first hand account basis. During this time, SCP-3611 is sapient.
SCP-3611 is currently transformed as President George Walker Bush.
Addendum: Interview Log
Interviewer: Dr. Jamison
Interviewed: SCP-3611, transformed into Abraham Lincoln.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Jamison: Okay, let's see here.
Paper shuffling.
Dr. Jamison: Four, Seven, Seventeen, Eighty-Two, Forty-Eight.
SCP-3611 begins to transform into Abraham Lincoln. This process takes approximately 5 minutes.
SCP-3611: I say, where am I?
SCP-3611 looks at Dr. Jamison.
SCP-3611: Ah, a fellow citizen! Hello, it is good to see you!
Dr. Jamison: As to you, Mr. President. May I ask you a few questions while you are here?
SCP-3611: Of course.
Dr. Jamison: Okay. Who are your wife and kids?
SCP-3611: Oh, my lovely Mary. And I have 4 little ones, Robert, Edward, Willie, and Tad! All such rambunctious children.
Dr. Jamison: Okay. Next question, where were you born?
SCP-3611: Somewhere near Hodgenville.
Dr. Jamison: Right. Last question, do you know when or how you will die?
SCP-3611 laughs.
SCP-3611: I cannot tell a lie; this I truthfully do not know!
Dr. Jamison: Thank you, President Lincoln. That is all for now.
[END LOG]
BY ORDER OF THE COUNCIL OF THE UNIFIED, THIS FILE HAS BEEN LOCKED TO LEVEL 5 PERSONNEL
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL En Dios Confiamos AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
On January 14, 2002, President Bush, under control by Dr. Bright, died via asphyxiation on a pretzel. This caused the George W. Bush's body to cease all biological function, which prevented Dr. Bright from possessing the body further. The following is a meeting between the FBI Unusual Incidents Unit and the Foundation on account of the incident.
Date: January 10th, 2002
Time: 2300 Hours
Present:
- U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation Agent F. Mulder
- U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation Unusual Incidents Unit Agent B. Brockton
- SCP Foundation Political Science Specialist/Vice President of the United States Dr. R. Cheney
- SCP Foundation Director of Personnel/President of the United States J. Bright (Possessing D-1221)
- SCP Foundation SCP-963 Junior Researcher D. Mantell
- SCP Foundation Public Awareness Councilman Dr. J. Everwood
- SCP Foundation Ticonderoga Project Head Dr. A. Molina
Internal Audio Recording Transcript
[BEGIN LOG]
(UIU Agents Mulder and Brockton enter the meeting room escorted by security personnel.)
Dr. Everwood: Gentlemen, I'm glad you could all make it on such short notice. Please take a seat, as we are operating on borrowed time. We are facing yet another presidential succession crisis.
Agent Brockton: Gore again?
Dr. Molina: I'm afraid not. However, SCP-4444 is an object of concern. But I'll allow Dr. Everwood to speak first.
Dr. Everwood: Thank you, Alex. Gentlemen, I'd like to reintroduce you to Dr. Jack Bright, who you knew previously as President Bush.
(Dr. Bright waves unenthusiastically before leaning back in his chair.)
Dr. Everwood: Earlier today while watching the Miami Dolphins and the Baltimore Ravens game, Dr. Bright choked on a pretzel, thus killing Mr. Bush in the process. Due to the Foundation's involvement in the most recent election cycle, we've had a much heavier presence in the White House than ever before and as such, have managed to block any information from reaching unwanted ears.
Agent Brockton: Where is the body? What of the First Lady?
Dr. Cheney: The body is currently in cryo somewhere upstairs. Mrs. Bush is currently being held until in custody until O5 command comes to a decision, and field operatives have been tasked with retrieving the twins. Plans for dealing with Barbara and Bush senior still aren't set in stone, but we're working on it.
Dr. Everwood: Our primary concern is now planning a course of action. I'll let Dr. Molina explain.
(Dr. Molina clears his throat and stands.)
Dr. Molina: Thank you. Folks, as I'm sure you remember, Al Gore is currently possessed by an incorporeal extra-dimensional entity. Though SCP-4444 was calm after Bright won the election, we have reason to believe that is only because it has an entire lifetime to get it right; and it might attempt to make another move for power. Despite Dr. Cheney being planted to guide Dr. Bright through his presidency, the public does not seem to approve of the vice president meaning there is little chance of a successful election in 2004.
(Dr. Molina ruffles through his papers momentarily, holding up an image of SCP-4444)
Dr. Molina: We are not entirely sure of SCP-4444's capability to move across bodies, so we'd prefer to maintain control of the White House until the entity is fully understood. This brings us back to what the necessity of finding an appropriate course of action to deal with this… Er… (Dr. Molina glances at Dr. Bright, who glares in return; arms folded.) Stumbling block. Thank you for your time. (Dr. Molina takes a seat.)
Dr. Everwood: The current course of action outlined by the Departments of External Affairs and Public Awareness calls for-
Agent Brockton: Hold on, why do your people get to call the shots? This affects my country, my job, and my people. I'll be damned if you're going to just let-
Dr. Cheney: We have been doing this for far longer than your department has even existed. The country you love so much is in the middle of a crisis; both anomalous and not. Besides, it is in your best interest to be backed by someone who knows of the anomalous in the world. Wouldn't you agree, Mister Brockton?
(The room is silent for 5 seconds before Brockton sighs.)
Dr. Everwood: As I was saying, the current plan is to announce the death of President Bush on Monday and allow Dr. Cheney to take inherit his position. Dr. Cheney is the former head of the Department of External Affairs' Geo-Politics Committee and is, in the opinion of the Foundation, qualified to carry out. However, due to the current geopolitical situation, our planted personnel are not seen favorably by the American public. This will pose a problem in the upcoming elections.
Dr. Cheney: It is for these reasons that I, alongside the Department of External Affairs have decided to begin monitoring the activities of the Democratic party and ensure a preferable candidate willing to work with the Foundation is selected, which we will then back while maintaining the masquerade.
Dr. Everwood: Now is the time for questions, gentlemen. But I beg of you, please be quick as-
(The door to the meeting room suddenly opens and Researcher Cole runs into the room, panting and out of breath.)
Dr. Everwood: Michael? I assume since the guards didn't stop you there's got to be a reason you're here. What is it?
Dr. Cole: Wondertainment… She knows about President Bush.
(Silence falls over the room, the only exception being Dr. Cole as he struggles to catch his breath. Dr. Bright leans forward in his chair and the rest of the present individuals are visibly tense.)
Agent Mulder: Who?
Dr. Cheney: How the hell did Wondertainment find out?
Dr. Everwood: How do you know this, Michael?
Dr. Cole: She's offering to help. She's got an… item.
Dr. Everwood: I see… Very well. Let's see what she has to say. In the meantime, I want a security team in this room to scan for possible bugs, and another in the White House doing the same thing. Dick, tell the O5 council the proposal is being delayed a bit.
[END LOG]
GoI 731 ("Wondertainment") was contacted by the Foundation shortly after this. The person who answered the Foundation's attempt at communication claimed to be Wondertainment's agent, and that she was out on vacation at the present moment. They claimed that Wondertainment had a device/item that would help the Foundation in their current state.
Interviewer: Agent Michael Westrin
Interviewed: PoI-26621, "Wondertainment's Agent"
[BEGIN LOG]
Agent Westrin pulls into a small abandoned factory in an unspecified area in Kentucky. A tall figure is seen outside in a light coat.
PoI-26621: Hey, man, glad you could make it.
Agent Westrin: Yeah, yeah.
Westrin leaves the car.
Agent Westrin: You said you had something?
PoI-26621: Yup. Heard about the Bush choking on a pretzel shenanigan, you were looking for a new President to keep away Al Gore. This should do the trick.
Agent Westrin: What is it?
PoI-26621: It's hard to explain, come in.
PoI-26621 and Westrin enter the abandoned edifice, now apparently used as a storage facility, now that it has been stripped of all its manufacturing capabilities. PoI-26621 motions Westrin to a room at the back of the facility, and opens it.
PoI-26621: Oh, uh, just a word of wisdom, stay back about 5 meters away from this thing.
Agent Westrin: Wh-
Before Westrin can say anything, the door is opened, and within it is a extremely large empty room, the only item within it being a puppet-like humanoid on the other side: SCP-3611.
PoI-26621: Say hello to Mr. President, by Dr. Wondertainment.
Agent Westrin: What is this thing? It just looks like a puppet.
PoI-26621: Hold on let me explain.
PoI-26621 produces a small piece of paper from its jacket pocket.
PoI-26621: Nine, Five, Zero, Zero, Two, Nine, Eleven, Five.
SCP-3611 begins to move independently, and begins to slowly transform. After approximately 5 minutes, SCP-3611 transforms into a copy of George W. Bush.
PoI-26621: If you say a certain string of numbers, it will transform into a president depending on the numbers used. It's meant for the kids, they can say the numbers, then they can ask them questions from the source. It'd be a great learning tool, and all that.
PoI-26621 puts away the paper.
PoI-26621: A couple of problems though.
Agent Westrin: What problems?
PoI-26621: We never got to mass produce these things due to their complexity. We managed to make about 15 of them before we decided it wasn't worth it. We scrapped all but one, just in case it was useful.
PoI-26621: But, there's also another reason we didn't produce these. If you will, please step closer to it.
Westrin walks up to SCP-3611, taking their time with each step. Upon reaching 5 meters of SCP-3611, Westrin begins to notice SCP-3611 physically change.
Agent Westrin: What the fuck?
SCP-3611: Laura… 915… Tomahawk.
SCP-3611 appears to only change to Westrin. Its mouth gains a puppet like design, lines like those that would appear on wood appear all throughout the entity, the joints become fleshy and wooden bulbs, and the eyes become made of glass. All of this happens while a stream of saliva begins to be produced from its mouth.
PoI-26621: If you get too close too it, the illusion will wear off… but only half way. What you are seeing cannot be seen by anyone else outside of the puppet's 5 meter radius, and is a half puppet/half human hybrid, in layman's terms.
Agent Westrin: You're not suggesting…
PoI-26621: With some tweaks, this bad boy will be able to completely copy Bush's mannerisms and all that, and can replace him as President. All you need to do, is never let a civilian 5 meters near Bush.
Agent Westrin: Okay. I will speak to my higher ups about this.
SCP-3611: Hellfire…
PoI-26621: Sounds like a plan.
[END LOG]
Following the meeting between Foundation and Wondertainment representatives, SCP-3611 was brought to Site-55 for examination and further testing. Document Hodgenville was drafted and presented to the O5 Council for deliberation.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Utilize SCP-3611 provided by Dr. Wondertainment to pose as current President of the United States George Walker Bush. All executive actions will be taken by Doctor Richard Cheney, who currently poses as the Vice President of the United States. SCP-3611 will serve to maintain the illusion of normalcy and procedures outlined in provisional Document Hodgenville."
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA |
NAY |
ABSTAIN |
| O5-03 |
O5-01 |
O5-11 |
| O5-05 |
O5-02 |
O5-12 |
| O5-06 |
O5-04 |
|
| O5-07 |
O5-08 |
|
| O5-10 |
O5-09 |
|
| O5-13 |
|
|
NOTES:
Operation Alagadda's Day is to be executed before the scheduled Presidential visit to Japan on February 15th.
Operation Alagadda's Day was enacted on February 14th and SCP-3611 successfully replaced Dr. Bright as acting President of the United States.
DOCUMENT HODGENVILLE
SCP-3611 delivering a speech with Dr. Cheney's supervision.
Item #: SCP-3611
Updated Containment Procedures: SCP-3611 is currently acting as the President of the United States. Because of this, the secret service and all other close advisors in the White House have been notified of SCP-3611's anomalous nature.
Following the Behind Closed Doors Act, the heads of states of allied nations have received information regarding SCP-3611. This rule may be changed on a case by case basis depending on the nation's leader. All others are to be amnesticized upon hearing this information.
Civilians are, at all times, be kept at least 5 meters away from SCP-3611. Lethal force is allowed for subjects that attempt to get close to SCP-3611 without authorization. Podiums and stages are to be specifically constructed as to not let any civilian within 5 meters of SCP-3611 during public events.
When SCP-3611 is not giving speeches or appearing out in public, it is to be stored in a low-security anomalous chamber within the White House in its base form. Transforming SCP-3611 back into George W. Bush requires explicit permission from one member from the ACML Administration.
Addendum-291!9: 2 months into its presidency, a speech was held on the topic of compassionate conservatism, and SCP-3611 was invited to speak. However, SCP-3611 strayed from the original topic and needed to be interrupted at the risk of breaking secrecy. Sections in blue are not in the original speech.
[BEGIN LOG]
SCP-3611: Well, thank you very much for that warm welcome. I am so grateful for the Commonwealth Club and the Churchill Club for inviting me here. I appreciate you all coming, and I appreciate your hospitality.
[EXTRANEOUS INFORMATION REDACTED]
Compassionate conservatism places great hope and confidence in public education. Our economy depends on higher and higher skills, requiring every American to have the basic tools of learning. Every public school should be the path of upward mobility.
Yet, sadly enough, many are the dead-end of dreams. Public schools are some of the most important institutions of democracy. They take children of every background, from every part of the world, and prepare them for the obligations and opportunities of a free society. Public schools are Americans great hope, and making them work for every child is America's great duty.
[EXTRANEOUS INFORMATION REDACTED]
It is conservative to let local communities chart their own path to excellence. It is compassionate to insist that every child learns, so that no child is left behind. By insisting on results, and challenging failure where we find it, we'll make an incredible difference in the lives of every child in America.
Where should we start? Well, I believe that we should not believe in participation trophies. If we want the child to succeed, they should know failure and success. They shouldn't be rewarded for failing. That's not how you grow. You grow from mistakes.
(At this point, Dr. Cheney is alerted to SCP-3611's deviation from the speech, and gets ready to interrupt it.)
Even if we do this, children will still grow to become the low of this society. I know from experience that sitting in a hopeless room, surrounded by 30 other children, without any "goal", any "purpose", or any of that, is not stimulation. It does not provoke the child into wanting to learn. If the walls are the same color as the paper, why should the child care about the paper, OR the walls that contain them. The building dedicated to setting them up to be the very best that they can be?
I believe that, if we want to help each child succeed, we should go straight to the child, and to the root of the problem, and make the education like it should be. We are very lucky to be partnered with someone I know very deeply, Dr. Wonde-
Dr. Cheney: Mr. President, you mixed up the speech.
SCP-3611: Oh. It appears I have. My apologies everyone. Where were we… ah, "lives of every child in America." Ahem. Compassionate conservatism offers a new vision for fighting poverty in America. For decades, our nation…
[END LOG]
Addendum-977/0: It was determined that SCP-3611 was to run in the 2004 presidential election by the ACML Administration, using the rising popularity of George Bush after the September 11 attacks as an advantage. Competing against SCP-3611 was democratic politician John Kerry with his running mate John Edwards.
During the election, there was a presidential debate within that was considered a Class 4 Anomalous Information Breach, and all non-authorized information regarding the event was destroyed. The following is the debate in its entirety, approximately 10 minutes in length before Operation "Total Anarchy" was enacted.
[BEGIN LOG]
[REDACTED]: Good evening from the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas. I'm [REDACTED], and I welcome you to another debate between George W. Bush, the republican nominee, and senator John Kerry, the democratic nominee. There will be 100 minutes to answer questions. Today's topic will be regarding the threat of Russia and it's influence around allied nations and countries, as well as the influence of the Iraq war on nearby allied nations and countries. I must ask the audience to be absolutely silent during the debate, except for now while they greet our nominees today.
John Kerry and SCP-3611 walk on stage, the crowd begins to clap and slightly cheer.
[REDACTED]: Good evening, Mr. President and senator Kerry. Our first question goes to George W. Bush. Do you think you'll be able to keep Russia in line in the event of another Cold War type situation? What could you do that Kerry cannot?
SCP-3611: Yes I can. I will make absolutely certain that we can maintain peace with Russia as well as President Putin. Now, the true road to this peace is unknown, but I believe I may know a clue to this road. The children of America. They will pave a path for success for all those that succeed us. We just need to give them guidance.
[REDACTED]: Mr. President, that does not have anything to do with the question.
SCP-3611: I apologize. I must have misheard.
John Kerry: Is this the man that ran our country during the terrorist attacks committed by Al-Qaeda?
[REDACTED]: Now, Mr. Bush, the question is: "Do you think you'll be able to keep Russia in line in the event of another Cold War type situation?"
[EXTRANEOUS INFORMATION REDACTED]
SCP-3611: ..which in the past has proven to be a very effective way of dealing with such an entity as Europe and Russia.
[REDACTED]: Thank you. Now, this question is for you, senator Kerry. Do you think you'll be able to keep Russia in line in the event of another Cold War type situation? What could you do that Bush cannot?
John Kerry: I'll answer that one in a second, I have to say something to the President first.
[REDACTED]: You are not allowed to give questions to the other nom-
John Kerry: Bush. Mr. President, whatever they like to call you. I must ask you this. In your opinion, why do you think the American people would be okay with a borderline pedophile as President?
[REDACTED]: Senator Kerry, if you do not-
SCP-3611: What did you say? I thought you had some class, Kerry.
John Kerry: All you ever talk about is kids. You seem obsessed. Do you think you are fit for another term? Or do we need to take away your children as well.
SCP-3611 begins to walk towards John Kerry with a clenched fist.
SCP-3611: You know, I'm surprised that John Kerry is the one that looks more like the doll.
SCP-3611 gets within 5 meters of John Kerry. He notices the anomaly, and begins to drop to the floor.
John Kerry: What the ever loving fuck are y-you?!
SCP-3611 looks down at Kerry, twitching.
SCP-3611: Wondertainment products are not allowed to divulge that kind of information.
Operation "Total Anarchy" was enacted almost instantly, and the room begins to fill with Class A amnestics. John Kerry begins to cough.
SCP-3611: What kind of demon have we brought upon this coun… country…
[END LOG]
Addendum-531µ7: From the 3/15/2003 to 3/19/2003, SCP-3611 began to write a series of executive orders that deviated from the standard format, and were signs of a malfunction. They were confiscated by Dr. Cheney as they were being written.
That bastard Saddam has nukes. I can see the future. It's painful, but I see a future t I see a future where the middle east falls into the sea. into the sea. r in a factory i see a window and outside that window is a mushroom mushroom cloud. i never really needed a god but they decided
I have decided that Iraq is a danger to America, Europe, and children all around the globe. We must storm its beaches and consume a the sand dunes, became [sic] their new emperor. the desert will be filled with oasis's, created by their blood and sweat
Sincerely,
The more I think about how I failed to protect the citizens of New York, the more I get angry. The fact we're not already pushing their shit in confuses me. p I realize how much Al-Qaeda is involved with the Iraqi government, and their possession of nuclear weapons. the same fuckers who desecrated our holy name.
when the children exit their factories factories, i don't want them to see a mushroom cloud. i want them to See a bright future ahead of them, full of opportunity. Not death. Everyone says i fear death. And you know what? They are right. Death is the fate of all, and we want to delay it. As much as possible. So of course I want to destroy the people who wish to bring that fate onto others. its just common sense. save sa the lives of p hundreds by
Sincerely,
I'm rambling a bit i'm sorry. My mind switches between normal and e the halfway between being on and off if that makes any sense. it all makes sense to me, but i know that it is not reality. reality. thats a funny word.
sometimes i like to mess with my body. i like to rip my jaw off. it's wooden, but still a bit fleshy. like a puppet. sometimes i have to clean the saliva of It is of great importance as well that Russia does not do literally anything while I have a d say in it. They may have more nukes than us, but by god we still have nukes that will dislocate their country off the continent. multiple times over.
Sorry. I don't know who I'm apologizing too. I just feel like freedom is the most important of all. Democracy is comparative to Mother Nature and Father Time. I am the guardian of them, and by god as my witness I will protect. Puppet or not. even if i have to engrave road the to democracy in shaven bones.
Sincerely,
I will initiate a shock and awe barrage barrage on Iraq as soon as I am able.
haha, it won't be pretty. won't be pretty. haha, it be pretty.
my father said children above all else. i will fulfill that purpose with my dying breath.
Sincerely,
Incident Report: On [DATE REDACTED], an assassination attempt was made on SCP-3611 while it was preforming a speech. The subject in question was a cleaning lady within the White House, and went behind SCP-3611 with a small pistol and aimed it at its head. The attacker reported after the incident that when that occurred, SCP-3611 stopped talking, and a small amount of static started to play from SCP-3611. Only the attacker noticed the static, and SCP-3611 turned its head completely 180 degrees while simultaneously reciting its "War on Terror" speech that was told shortly after the occurrence of 9/11. When they fully turned their head to face the attacker, SCP-3611 vocally exclaimed, "Pawn to C-7. Neptune Spear to Abbottabad. Pawn takes King."
The attacker reported that this happened over the course of 1 and a half seconds before they were attacked by the Secret Service, and the speech was postponed. Dr. Cheney and O5 Command have decided that SCP-3611's recent decline in stability in regards to preforming its presidential business was becoming worrisome, and that Dr. Cheney would preform most of SCP-3611's duties, while lowering the amount of speeches held significantly. For more information, please see Document "John's Apple."
More information regarding SCP-3611's involvement in the Iraqi war can be found within Document "Lie From Truth."
Addendum-999@5: In August of 2005, Hurricane Katrina formed and struck the Gulf Coast of the United States. During this time, it was decided that SCP-3611 was allowed to assist in disaster relief programs and activities for the general public to know about. However, it was discovered that the substance that makes up most of SCP-3611 is vulnerable to water, and it was damaged days after being out in the storm constantly.
SCP-3611 was immediately moved to the White House where attempts at repairing it were made. Eventually, it was decided to contact Dr. Wondertainment and request to have SCP-3611 repaired.
Interviewer: Agent Michael Westrin
Interviewed: PoI-26621, "Wondertainment's Agent"
[BEGIN LOG]
Agent Westrin pulls into a the same factory from Kentucky. The same figure is seen outside, except this time in a rain coat.
PoI-26621: Hello again.
Agent Westrin: Hey. I'm here to get Mr. President repaired.
PoI-26621: I heard. Yeah, the stuff we make them out of melts very quickly against water. Come on in and set them down.
Westrin leaves the car. He also removes SCP-3611, currently in its deactivated state, out of the trunk.
PoI-26621: Heavy, isn't it?
Agent Westrin: Yeah.
Agent Westrin and PoI-26621 enter the storage facility, while they are carrying SCP-3611 on both of their shoulders. PoI-26621 mentions to the same room from the last encounter, and they enter the room, and put SCP-3611 on an empty chair.
Agent Westrin: Hoo, that takes a lot out of you. Anyway, what are we paying you for this?
PoI-26621: Boss says 3 hundred will do. But, while you're here, she wanted to give you something similar to Mr. President. For free.
Agent Westrin: I mean, sure, I'll have a look.
Agent Westrin and PoI-26621 leave the room, and enter an entirely new area of the facility. They go up to a large container while PoI-26621 inputs a code. 3 seconds later, the container door appears to unlock.
PoI-26621: We saw all the kinks, bugs, and other things Mr. President had, such as seeing its "true form" when you were close to it, it being insane once in a while, and other things. While this model isn't perfect, don't get me wrong, it still has some issues, it's way better, and you can use it whenever you have an extra-dimensional entity you don't want to become President. Or something to that nature.
Agent Westrin: Alright. What is it.
PoI-26621: Behold!
The door to the container, and an entity similar to appearance to New York senator Hillary Clinton falls out onto the floor.
PoI-26621: Say hello to Madam President!
[END LOG]
