Introducing: iGod
rating: 0+x
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Facility R.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: A document describing SCP-XXXX, as well as all materials necessary to enact SCP-XXXX, are to be kept in a standard Safe-class locker in Facility R, a site of classified location whose architecture and position are optimized for SCP-XXXX. This locker is to be secured with biological, chemical, and memetic defenses to prevent unauthorized entry.

The locker containing SCP-XXXX may only be opened for study with the express permission of at least one of the following: the project head for SCP-XXXX1, the HMCL supervisor of Facility R2, a researcher with Level 5/XXXX clearance, or a member of the O5 Council. All testing with SCP-XXXX, including enactment of the ritual itself, is forbidden, except for emergency conditions in some K-Class Scenarios as outlined in Document XXXX/FAILSAFE-1.

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Component of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a ritual which allows a sapient consciousness3 to become a Class-VII Ontokinetic Entity. The process of SCP-XXXX bestows potent reality-bending abilities onto a chosen subject, hereafter designated SCP-XXXX-1. However, the body of SCP-XXXX-1 is destroyed in the process.

Limited communication with instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have confirmed that they no longer have a physical form, but are still able to percieve the world from a variety of viewpoints and are able to exercise control over matter within their purview. It is also believed that SCP-XXXX affects the mind in such a way that causes partial loss of consciousness, memory, and coma, although specific details of this condition are unclear due to difficulty in communicating with SCP-XXXX-1 entities.

Additional Notes: It is believed that SCP-XXXX represents a form of apotheosis as defined by Sarkic groups4. According to Sarkic lore, the process of apothesis causes ascension to a position of near-godhood and total power. It is unknown if SCP-XXXX is Sarkic in origin, but its location of recovery heavily implies this conclusion.

Excerpt from Dr. Jade's Book, Sarkicism In-Depth, or: Dissecting the Sarkic Religion:

A quite peculiar aspect of Sarkicism is their belief in apotheosis. In contrast to most other religions from their time period, including Daevitism, which is commonly believed to be the "root" of Sarkicism, they believe that even the lowest human can ascend themselves to a position of godhood. Grand Karcist Ion, believed to be the founder of the religion, is said to have gone through this process in order to gain his abilities.

Unfortunately, the process of apotheosis is never really described, and the many branches of Sarkicism each have their own interpretation. Many of the more conservative branches believe that Ion drank the blood of a Daeva, then appealed directly to the archons of Yalbadoth for ascendence. Some European sects describe a process of meditation, abstinance, and consumption of various rare fruits that allowed him to gain his abilities. A few of the orthodox Sarkic cults on the West Coast speak of a ritual that Ion's followers did to him to cause his ascendance. Most Neosarkic groups believe that Ion's ascendance was a process of finding his true spirit within himself in a rite of self-actualization.

The current consensus among the Foundation is that Ion was simply a powerful reality bender…

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The above-ground portion of the tomb of Great Priest Nikov.

Discovery: A scroll describing an "Ascendance Ritual" was recovered in the tomb of Great Priest Nikov56, during a Foundation incursion of the site in 1998. The scroll itself was found in a hidden chamber adjacent to Nikov's sarcophagus, in a room with four mirrors in a circular shape, a vial of Ceratophyllum demersum pollen, and alchohol. These are now known to be components of SCP-XXXX.

The scroll and all related information were moved to permanent storage, and its contents were not investigated due to ongoing conflicts with anterrorist groups in North America and Australia. Primarily due to bureaucratic error, the scroll was lost during a move to another site. It is unknown how PoI-5648 came into posession of the scroll, but it is believed that through him, SCP-XXXX was transferred to other parties, causing its containment breach.

Files Related to Incident XXXX-1

Recovered Message Log: The following is a series of private messages, sent between PoI-5648 and Philip Schiller, Apple's president of marketing:

jforme: Hey, Schiller.

jforme: Are you on?

pschiller: Yes, I am.

pschiller: Any reason in particular?

jforme: You know how we saved you from the mind-melting virus back in '087?

pschiller: Oh, this is Foundation business?

pschiller: Shouldn't this be directed to Cook, not me?

jforme: We actually need a favor done.

pschiller: Alright then. I don't know what I should do, but shoot.

jforme has uploaded file apotheosis-apple-plan.docx

jforme: I need you to take this, and show it to the execs.

jforme: Tell them that we sent you. Should convice them.

pschiller: This is… interesting, to say the least.

pschiller: "iGod?" Are you sure about this?

jforme: Trust us, we want this in the general market ASAP, and this'll make you filthy rich.

pschiller: If you say so, I guess.

pschiller: Thanks, then.

jforme: No problem.


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Advertisement released by Apple Incorporated on 2019/10/16.


Incident XXXX-1: On 2019/06/16, Apple Inc. released began an advertisement for an "iGod" service, an example of which is embedded above. Media created by Apple implied that consumers would be able to worship "iGod" to have prayers granted.

This marketing campaign was met with public confusion and scrutiny. Many critics regarded Apple as insane for trying to "sell nothing," and the Christian Church publicly denounced Apple for violating the First Commandment. Following the service's launch on 2019/07/22, less than 400 subscribers were reported in the first week.

On 2019/07/26, the Hume levels in the town of Homer, Kansas were reported to suddenly drop. This corresponded with the precipitation of snow and cold weather, which was unusual for summer in Kansas. A teenager reported that she had subscribed to the iGod service and prayed for a snow day to avoid an exam. The local news agencies began to report it, and the incident was reported by many national news agencies. The number of people subscribed to iGod increased to 3.4 million.

Shortly thereafter, Walmart released "YHWalmart," a service similar to iGod's, but cheaper and boasting a higher "prayer success rate." This was followed by numerous worldwide corporations releasing their own dieties, using various models of pay and advertising different "benefits." See Document XXXX/INSTANCES-1 for a full list of known SCP-XXXX-1 instances.

Investigation of the Travisky Space8 revealed the presence of several previously unrecorded signatures belonging to high-potency ontokinetic entities. Due to the sudden appearance and popularity of SCP-XXXX-1, focus of Foundation involvement changed from containment to investigation of SCP-XXXX-1.

List of SCP-XXXX-1 Entities created during Incident XXXX-1

Foreword: The following is an abridged version of Document XXXX/INSTANCES-1, containing notable instances of SCP-XXXX-1 created during Incident XXXX-1. All of the following were neutralized in the course of Incident XXXX-N, and are believed to be inactive.

ID Name Creator Notes on Usage Other Notes
SCP-XXXX-1-1 "iGod" Apple, Inc. Subscription model, initially priced at 15.99 USD per month but eventually raised to 60.99 USD. First known instances of SCP-XXXX-1, believed to have originally been Luca Maestri, former Chief Financial Officer of Apple Inc.
SCP-XXXX-1-2 "YHWalmart" Walmart, Inc. Subscription model, initially priced at 9.99 USD per month but eventually raised to 30.99 USD. Originally advertised as "having a 30% increase in prayer granting over the iGod, and for a fraction of the price." Believed to have been a Walmart employee of little note who volunteered for the project.
SCP-XXXX-1-3 "Amazon Diety" Amazon, Inc. Subscription model, priced at 25.99 USD. Advertised an "intuitive prayer-management system" that reduced chance of prayer misinterpretation. Identity of SCP-XXXX-1-3 is unknown.
SCP-XXXX-1-6 "Cortana" Microsoft, Inc. Single purchase model of 119.99 USD. Believed to have been made into an SCP-XXXX-1 entity from a version of Cortana.aic9. This has been confirmed in interactions with the entity.
SCP-XXXX-1-15 Yǐnshí10 Alibaba Group Holding Limited Subscription-based model. Shortly after SCP-XXXX-1-33's appearance, Alibaba executives announced that all Alibaba employees would be mandated to worship SCP-XXXX-1-33. This move was eventually overturned after pressure from the European Union, though reports indicate that 99.9% of Alibaba employees are subscribers to SCP-XXXX-1-33.
SCP-XXXX-1-33 "GNU/God" Mexican-American engineer Steven Lòpez Free. Created as a satirical work by Lòpez, mocking existing SCP-XXXX-1 instances and the Free Software Foundation. Instructions for preforming SCP-XXXX were released on Lòpez's GitHub, and a video showing Lòpez turning himself into SCP-XXXX-1-56 were released on YouTube. Both of these were taken down under Foundation information control. Although SCP-XXXX-1-56 has been noted to exist in the Travisky Space, only three prayers have been known to have been granted by the entity.
SCP-XXXX-1-78 "Divusa" Divusa Ltd11. A subscription-based model; however, followers had the option to sign up others for SCP-XXXX-1-15, in exchange for lower rates and a higher prayer rate. Believed to have been Robert Davis' younger sister prior to SCP-XXXX. Was temporarily suspended by the Federal Trade Commission for franchise fraud, as Divusa Ltd was considered to be an illegal pyramid scheme. The following day, the Consumer Protection Act was modified to exclude Divusa Ltd. from its definitions.

Investigation into SCP-XXXX and PoI-5648

SCP-XXXX-1 was not discovered to be linked to SCP-XXXX until after investigation into the origin of SCP-XXXXX-1 entities.

Interview Log XXXX-1:

INTERVIEW LOG


Interviewer: Researcher Calvin

Interviewed: Michael Dastugue, CFO for Walmart Inc.


<Begin Log>

Calvin: Good morning, Mr. Dastugue.

Dastugue: Listen here, journo. I've got better things to do than talk with the press. Why are you bugging me and not one of my lackeys?

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