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The following document has been updated to include the Anomaly Classification System. The previous classification formatting remains for posterity.


Still image of SCP-XXXX.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept in a standard humanoid containment cell in Site-76. Supervising personnel are required to wear noise-cancelling headphones during observation and guard duties.

SCP-XXXX's diet consists of one deceased D-Class personnel per day, which must be run over by a motor vehicle prior to feeding. If there are no deceased D-Class personnel readily available, on-site termination is permitted, but must be carried out by driving a motor vehicle over living D-Class.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a large, vaguely humanoid mass of flexible plastic, similar in color and design to standard traffic cones. SCP-XXXX is in a constant state of motion, usually in some form of dance.

SCP-XXXX constantly emits music, able to be heard out to approximately 200 meters. This music, while it does include vocals, is never in a language known to individuals that are able to hear it.

SCP-XXXX's music has distinct effects upon individuals that are able to hear it. In the majority of cases, they are simply compelled to approach SCP-XXXX. However, if an individual capable of hearing SCP-XXXX is driving a motor vehicle at the time, they are instead compelled to hit any pedestrians in front of them.

SCP-XXXX also represents a potent bureaucratohazard; pedestrians capable of hearing SCP-XXXX are given legal right-of-way on roads, above motor vehicle drivers.

SCP-XXXX uses these effects for the purposes of hunting. It will position itself across busy roadways from targets, using its music to compel them to begin crossing the street to reach it. As a result, motorists at the time will hit said target, due to their presence on the roadway, and being encouraged by SCP-XXXX, which will proceed to enter the roadway and engulf the target. It is unknown how SCP-XXXX digests its target, though waste is produced in the form of pure oxygen. It should be noted that SCP-XXXX will only eat humans that have been run over by a motor vehicle, and displays a preference for those which were actually killed by a vehicle.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was found in the city of Alennium, Vermont, following reports of a "traffic cone man" stealing bodies from traffic accidents. Due to the city being a hotspot for activity from GoI-2053 ("American Thaumaturgical Society")1, an investigation was carried out, resulting in the entity's capture and containment.

During the investigation, Foundation agents found the following letters with no return address in a recently vacated home, suspected to have recently belonged to a member of GoI-2053.

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