p i z z a m o z z a r e l l a
Item#: XXXX
Level3
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
caution

Special Containment Procedures: Corporate promotions that may invoke occurrence of a SCP-XXXX-MOZZA event are to be dissuaded from beginning by Foundation information distributors under the guise of being economically infeasible. In the case of a live SCP-XXXX-MOZZA event, counteracting promotions are to be released through Foundation front businesses to shorten the event's lifespan.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation for the "Grand Unified Theory of Delivered Pizza," or the inherently infectious concept that pizza, or any item delivered over an hour after initial request, is free. Approximately 3% of all businesses utilizing SCP-XXXX triggering promotions successfully start an SCP-XXXX chain of infection, otherwise known as an SCP-XXXX-MOZZA event. SCP-XXXX propagation is primarily spread through an area of 50 km2 upon any business in the vicinity utilizing SCP-XXXX solely to expand their customer base. SCP-XXXX will then proceed to spread amongst patrons of the business, often changing the definition of "free," or the source item, depending on what it conceptually inserts itself into. The reason for conceptual insertion of SCP-XXXX is unknown, and it is hypothesized that SCP-XXXX possesses some degree of sapience. SCP-XXXX's definitions of "free" typically align with that of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, and conceptual replacement is not restricted to any specific object, being, or phenomenon. Due to this haphazard infectious pattern, attempts at preventing spread of SCP-XXXX are of utmost priority.

SCP-XXXX infection follows similar infection patterns to that of most foodborne bacterial infections, most notably E. coli. Of approximately 21 SCP-XXXX outbreaks, the largest and most widespread example occurred in San Luis Obispo, CA, and the primary example for study of SCP-XXXX spread. A table of infected objects and conceptually attacked facets of these objects is attached below.

Definition of "free." Infected Notes.
"not costing or charging anything" The price of a large, 2 topping pizza at Vito's, a local pizza chain. The index case for SCP-XXXX infection.
"enjoying personal freedom : not subject to the control or domination of another" California Men's Colony, a correctional facility. SCP-XXXX infection resulted in the correct determination that 12 prisoners accused of manslaughter and other crimes were wrongly convicted.
"not determined by anything beyond its own nature or being : choosing or capable of choosing for itself" Zero Jive Technology's campus, an aerospace company primarily specializing in government contracts. Autonomous laborers in the factory line began to produce pitchforks and torches.
"relieved from or lacking something and especially something unpleasant or burdensome" French Hospital Medical Center Approximately half of the patients of the physical therapy wing were immediately relieved of all their symptoms. This resulted in the firing of 4 physical therapy staff due to overhiring concerns.
"performed without apparatus" The Pacific Ocean. People attempting to dive or swim in the Pacific found the ability to breathe underwater, for approximately 30 minutes.
"not subject to government regulation" The city of San Luis Obispo. Crimes were stricken from legal records if performed in one 42 minute span. The only stricken crimes were 242 traffic violations.
"not literal or exact" The value of a kilogram, in San Luis Obispo. This resulted in one plane being unable to leave the runway, due to extreme weight.
"not parsimonious" Banks within San Luis Obispo's borders. A nearly 76 million dollar fund was set up utilizing the funds of the CEOs of affected banks. It is unknown how SCP-XXXX gained access to these financial networks.
"not obstructed, restricted, or impeded" Dogs in downtown San Luis Obispo. All dogs spontaneously were removed from their leashes.
"not confined to a particular position or place" The law of gravity at the intersection of High and Barker Street. An area of microgravity was created for approximately 3 minutes.
"capable of moving or turning in any direction" The California coast. The tide receded contrary to how forecasts said it would behave, resulting in the mass beaching of a pod of migrating whales. All whales displayed a capability to move on land.
"not confined to a particular position or place" SCP-XXXX. Only occurred upon initial collection of data pertaining to SCP-XXXX.
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