❔ List of Meta/Pata Articles

Note: The following list displays articles which directly address the reader, or refer to their own fiction. Not all articles tagged as "meta" or "narrative" on the Wiki itself are appropriate for this list (but a great deal are). This list has been compiled in near chronological order for your viewing pleasure.

As Jarry claimed that 'pataphysics existed "as far from metaphysics as metaphysics extends from regular reality," a pataphor attempts to create a figure of speech that exists as far from metaphor as metaphor exists from non-figurative language.

Whereas a metaphor is the comparison of a real object or event with a seemingly unrelated subject in order to emphasize the similarities between the two, the pataphor uses the newly created metaphorical similarity as a reality with which to base itself.


Origins

(2010-2015)

When meta began


✍️ Metafiction

"Is this some sort of joke?", he spat angrily.

✍️ S Andrew Swann's Proposal - The Database

But we found out that there is a God, and it is SCP-001.

And it’s a bunch of horror writers.

🦉 Cygnus

MEMETIC KILL AGENT ENGAGED. THAUMIEL INITIATIVE ACTIVATED.

🗡️ SCP-1304 - Metafictional Rebirth Ritual

They can't all be "discovering" the ritual independently, and yet only a handful of authors admit to having been inspired by another work. How do they know it? How is it being told to them?

👩‍💻 The Self Insert

"What did he just say?" Six leaned forward, turning up the volume.

"I think it was something along the lines of 'Wow. 12 meters high. I didn't think they actually did that.'" Jack fiddled with his amulet, staring at the man before them. "Do you think this guy is on the level?"

So It Was

It is regretful to announce that in two weeks time, we will need to shut down Wikidot. We thank the community for sticking with us for all these years, though we do understand that you may have lots of questions regarding the nature of why we are choosing to shut down after a 12 year run.

💭 SCP-2413 - Critical Thinking

WARNING: Accessing SCP-2413's documentation will cause auditory hallucinations. If you have arrived at this file in error, and do not wish to familiarize yourself with the object, please close the document now and report to your immediate superior.

Funfiction

“Fourth!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. SCP-7448 was deleted at -50 and four staff votes.

👩‍💻 SCP-101-FR - Y@u are #ere | translation

SCP-101-FR is a site available on the global Internet at "http://www.scp-wiki.net/". This site happens to be an almost perfect replica of the Foundation's current database.

🛑 SCP-2215 - I Saw the Sign

My father was a tree, my mother the sea, my brother a limping rooster. Who am I?


Pataphysics

(2015-2017)

She turned on her head


📺 SCP-2614 - Sometimes I Go Out In Pity For Myself

The note read, "THERE WAS NO GOD HERE, THOUGH I CRIED, I FOUND HIS SHADOW, AND COULD NOT DIE".

🚫 SCP-2747 - As below, so above.

SCP-2747 is a phenomenon appearing in print and online media whereby platforms dedicated to the discussion of works of fiction begin to mention a nonexistent instance of fictional media.

🐑 SCP-2916 - A Lamb, a Shepherd, and a Wolf

She called me cub, and I fell in love with her. How could I not? I don't know. She's a Reader, like you. And this is a story, in its own way. He doesn't see that, but it is. But he's sated now, I think. I turned on him, I killed him, the story's finished. Forever.

📝 Operation ÓverMeta

"Of course, yes. I didn't mean anything by it. The point is, no matter how far these data points fall in merit, they seem to be immune to the rules that govern all the others."

⬇️ Downvoted

"Are we gods?" T.D. moved the food on his plate around into various shapes.

"Sure." The supervisor nodded his head. "And we're the good guys."

👁️‍🗨️ SCP-3999 - I Am At The Center of Everything That Happens To Me

The Eleven Day Empire melted me, and I submitted. You watched me submit from the moment I joined the Foundation community.

SCP-3999 has won.

SCP-3999 has lost.


The Pataphysics Department

(2017-2018)

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer


📥 SCP-3500 - I'm So Meta Even This Article

Hello, I'll wave. It's me, Penelope, being meta. Welcome to the Note At The End.

SCP-3043 - Murphy Law in… Type 3043 — FOR MURDER!

Heroes always do what's right. But me?

MURPHY walks out of the lab and into the streets, smoking a cigarette — holstering his piece. He walks away, toward the fading sun.

I'm no hero. I'm Murphy Law.

🕵️ SCP-3143 - Murphy Law in… The Foundation Always Rings Twice!

Sorry to break it to you, doc. But you're just a spooky ghost story dressed up in a lab-coat, glasses, and a funny little accent.

🗯️ Never Metafictional Character I Didn't Like

"The Foundation —"

WAIT NO STO

"THE FOUNDATION DOES NOT EXIST!"

🕴️ Recovered Media: The Hard-Boiled Adventures of Murphy Law

On 24/12/2017, a Foundation-operated bot (I/O-ISMETA) located a series of archived discussions pertaining to SCP-3143 across several defunct comic book enthusiast forums, totaling 49 posts. Prior to enactment of standard Foundation media alteration protocol 912-A ("TWILIGHT ZONE"), 7 relevant files were recovered.

These files are included below.

⚙️ ...Like Clockwork (Series)

Nothing.

👹 SCP-3117 - A Monster-Shaped Hole

GAMMA: — and, it's — I don't know. Something's watching me. Something's waiting for me at the bottom. But I can't stop. I start going faster and faster, and then I reach the bottom. There's a pit. There's light coming from the pit. I look down.

VOODOO: And?

LADYBUG: You can tell us. It's alright.

GAMMA: It — something looks back up. That's when I wake up. I wake up screaming.

👥 SCP-3812 - A Voice Behind Me

You… no, you can't see him. I can. I think he was above us at one point, but he's below me now. Yes, I see you there. I don't know what you did to me, but I'm pretty messed up, man. If you can figure something out here that would be great, because I really feel like I'm losing it. I'm scared too, man. You've got to do something, man. You've got to help me out here. Please, god, please.

🎛️ SCP-2786 - The Archetype

The following documentation has been flagged as COMPROMISED by SCP-2786's effects.

⚰️ SCP-3167 - Character Assassin (Or: The Serial Killer)

The deed was done; the figure had collected their latest kill, and turned a new page in their life.

📖 SCP-3775 - Evobasa Woleb

Following the discovery of new details related to SCP-3775, information on Garrett Evobasa Woleb and certain details of the murders is currently restricted to the Site Director and O5 Command (see Addendum 3775.B)

👤 SCP-3309 - Where We Go When We Fade, Fade Away

Did we ever find out where those neutralized anomalies went? Surely it can't be so easy, to do what we did, to feel justice without any repercussions. That's unlike us. But it feels like everyone, everyone except me, forgot what happened to those anomalies. Is it that simple? Have we simply forgotten?

I don't want to be forgotten.

🎲 The Abyss Gazes Back (And It's ASCII On A CRT Screen)

Being on his lonesome was beginning to wear him down. Would he feel better if he had a friend?

"A friend won't fix this. Besides, I wouldn't burden another to being stuck with me. Not here. It's not fair. It's —"

He stopped. Something was moving toward him. He opened his eyes, and —

"Um, excuse me, mister. Who are you talking to?"

"What?"

✒️ This Is A Direct Appeal

"For whatever reason, tormenting us is… better, in a narrative sense.”

“For them.”

“Obviously for them. Yes.”


The Direct Appeal

(2018- )

Came down upon her head


🎸 The Voyage

In the depths of space, far in deep reaches of the Milky Way, a once much closer void swirls. An ancient force had sculpted the stars and influenced the conventions of man long ago, and deep within that system, Cygnus waits for a confrontation.

🍂 Black Autumn (Series)

"Y-You can't kill him!" Katherine panted. "He's a thoughtform! Something about his story's gone wrong!"

The Goatman trying to bring its axe down on his shoulder. Montgomery parried it, and drove his blade in between its ribs. The Goatman had power, but lacked grace, and fumbled once more when the Spellshatter drove itself into its side. "So, what?" He asked. "I have to tell a story at it?!"

"I-I don't know! I'm not an epistemologist!" She winced at the sight of Monty dodging an axe to the shoulder.

🗺️ I.H.Pickman's Proposal - Story of Your Life

"Sinclair's actually been able to pinpoint instances in which the narrative focus shifts away, if only briefly. You know what happens?"

"What?" Verhoten asked.

"Absolutely nothing. We keep existing, going about our lives, having conversations, and just… developing. Going on. That means that God isn't always paying attention, but we're still here regardless."

🧚🏿‍♂️ SCP-4040 - At The Bottom Of A Bottomless Pit

Carol: That's consistent with previous encounters. Also consistent with previous encounters is how surreal all this feels. I feel a bit like I'm having a lucid dream, or that I'm in a story.

Tofflemire: Which officially makes us fourth wall breakers. We're the SCP Foundation's version of Deadpool.

🍂 Black Autumn II: Rise Of the Pit Sloth (Series)

The dark is real, and so is the cold, mask-maker, make my story be told.

"What the fuck are you?"

I am the half-formed idea in your brain, and if you obey me, boons you shall gain.

🧚🏿‍♂️ SCP-3677 - Paradix High School: Paradise for the Paranormal

Khan, you can't hear me, but it wasn't your fault.

📧 SCP-4010 - Attempt to look at what we accomplished

Great, I have the basic setup. Now let's dig into the database.

✍️ SCP-4410 - The Ongoing Development of an Art Form

Online collaborations such as this are often fleeting, but there are some very passionate SCP-4410-1 instances. I'm hoping this community can stay active for three, maybe four years. We'll see.

⚔️ SCP-4028 - La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha

Well… they could be giants.

📝 A Failed Two Weeks Notice

Have you ever written a character for so long, it stops feeling like you're the one writing it? Like they just act on their own and you just happen to write it down? Actually, characters have a lot in common with lies. They both start out as fake, but the more you play into it, the more real they become.

Pierre, your pataphysics department is about to take on a whole life of its own. But don't worry, I can handle it from here.

- Dr. Panagiotopolous

🦖 (Too) Late Registration

Uncle Nicolini
Contactable Via Private Message
Lazy Hack, SCP Wiki

📚 Tight Bookshelves

"I… I love you, but…" She bit her prochellion, not sure what to say. She knew that such a love would be forbidden, but the sweet swelling feeling in her sternum told her that to leave such a fine specimen of both homo sapiens and canis lupus would tear her apart1.

"Yes, my dear? Is it my… Wild tendencies that upset you?" His muscular2 canine form bristled, breath frosting the air3 as it left his bronchii. He-

"SIR!"

Footnotes
1. "Uhh… Sir? Sir? I understand you're the narrator of Gray's Anatomy, yes?"
2. "Sir?"
3. "Sir, I believe you're narrating the wrong book."

SCP-4455 - In Short…

Captain Alpha: I am opening the door!

Agent Gamma: I am ready to see you open the door!

Agent Eta: I am still observing the window!

Agent Epsilon: I am staying put!

Agent Zeta: As am I!

🏢 He Who Screws With Reality

Samuel started in shock, leaning back in his chair. His eyes were very wide now. "What the hell did you just do?"

"Oh, this? I'm speaking to you in the color red. And in bold text, I believe."

Samuel began to form his next word, his mouth forming a quivering "O". Dr. Weathers raised his hand to stop him.

🥛 SCP-3739 - Mind-Milk™ by Moosphere, Inc.

On June 24, 2019, live footage of a writhing, gelatinous clump was posted to YouTube, triggering Simurgh.aic. Sometime after, Foundation pataphysicists detected an aberrant mass of bovine memes equal to 150,000 dairy cattle in a 640 m2 area. MTF-Eta-33 ("Don't Have A Cow, Man") members initiated the investigation, tracking the memes to a large abandoned warehouse in Northeastern Wisconsin.

🦈 SCP-4190 - A Twenty Thousand League Delay

YOU ARE DOING EXCELLENT WORK
PLEASE KEEP IT UP
WE ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN
WE HARBOUR NO GRUDGE
IT DOES NOT CARE EITHER WAY
THE JOKE CAN NOT DIE
FOR OUR SAKE

💘 Stupid Cupid: Stop Picking On Me

The vine explodes as Cimmerian lands a shot along its length. North lands safely. The daisy yells in pain.

"THAT WAS MY FAVORITE VINE! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE THIS FIC FROM FLUFF TO SMUT YOU FLIRTY SLASH PAIR. I SWEAR I'M GONNA MAKE YOU-

🦋 Thank You, Reviewers

"Sir? What was that?"

"Oh, I just believe in something fairly pataphysical. Don't worry too much about it. Just think of it as me thanking some deity out there for critiquing my story writer and making sure my life isn't a lolFoundation."

"… What?"


Other — Meta Joke Articles

(2012- )


🔼 SCP-2421-J - The Upvote Syndrome

Possible side effects of exposing non-infected staff members to SCP-2421-2-J include:

  • A compulsion to edit the article heavily;
  • Increased levels of irritability and anger;
  • A desire to attack the infected member with a hammer.

👎 SCP-1212-J - Standards

Dr. ████: Not only did the three of you ignore the clear, three-week deadline, but you out-and-out ignored the item completely! Why?
Researcher ████: It's boring.
Dr. ████: …what?

SCP-META-EX-J - Please Don't Coldpost

Object Class: Uncontained Apollyon Explained? Apollyon Keter Explained Definitely Apollyon Explained, to a degree, I guess Confusing (Pending Class Reassignment)

👀 SCP-HR009-J - Eye-Grabbing Clickbait Title

Where to begin. I guess it all starts with my love of Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

🗑️ SCP-309-J - i accidentally the entire article

how do i delete articles

Compiled by TSATPWTCOTTTADCTSATPWTCOTTTADC & YossiLeinerYossiLeiner & FloppyPhoenixFloppyPhoenix.

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