Shlorp the Abstract Concepts

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 and -2 should be kept in a standard Safe item containment locker with two armed guards stationed outside. Any unaccounted for instances of SCP-XXXX-A should be collected and evaporated.

Description: SCP-XXXX-1 is a standard tree tapper of unknown make and origin. SCP-XXXX-1 can be easily inserted into anything with an outer surface area greater than its end; SCP-XXXX-1 is unaffected by objects' inner dimensions. After insertion, the user gains full awareness of the conceptual makeup of the object. The user can then mentally direct SCP-XXXX-1 to extract a chosen concept from the object, at which point the back end of SCP-XXXX-1 will discharge a colorless liquid, SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A is functionally identical to water [1], save for its interaction with SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX-2 is a yellow plastic funnel with similar properties to SCP-XXXX-1, in that it can be inserted into surface area-sufficient objects by its tail end without difficulty. When SCP-XXXX-A instances are poured into the wide end of SCP-XXXX-2, the concept represented by the -A instance will be applied to the new object.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was brought to the Foundation's attention after several emergency calls from the same area in Murfreesboro, TN claimed that the pavement throughout their neighborhood was vocalizing (reported examples included giggling, blowing raspberries, sobbing, and screaming).

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