Westrin's Proposal or whatever: Our Ultimate Porpoise

And so I said from the great dark below,
"From Hell's Heart," thus I stroked the great blow,
The cataclysm awaited, crumbling and crashing,
But we fulfilled our true directive, thrashing and bashing.

Entity: SPC-001

Selechian Class: Polpette Speziate

Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: As of ██/██/████, SPC-001 remains unpunched.

This is expected to change following PROJECT OUR ULTIMATE PORPOISE, which will be activated by order of PS-1, PS-7, and PS-13. PROJECT OUR ULTIMATE PORPOISE consists of a 3 part All-Range-Control project, requiring resources and assistance from all world powers. The 3 parts of PROJECT OUR ULTIMATE PORPOISE are as follows:

  • The reconfiguration of ENTITY OMEGA-SELPHA under guidelines set by the Administrator.
  • The activation of SUB-PROJECT HAMMERHEAD'S WRATH, which will direct ENTITY OMEGA-SELPHA into SPC-001.
  • The application of ENTITY OMEGA-SELPHA into SPC-001 directly, which will successfully punch it.

Personnel are required to read DOCUMENT PHELPS for more information.

Selachian Description: SPC-001 is the designation given to the planet Earth. Currently, it is revealed that a thick layer of shark skin is found within the Earth's crust. Additionally, all molten rock and other related materials have hints of shark blood within them. This, combined with a giant entity resembling a Great White Shark head found on the ocean floor in the Atlantic Ocean, has confirmed that SPC-001 is an extremely large shark.

SPC-001 was discovered after the Great Atlantis Conflict of 20██, after a Azerite mine dug into a cavern filled with lava. The nearby SPC personnel's Shark Detector 3000's began to sound, alerting them to the presence of an unpunched shark. Their company-issued brass knuckles were equipped, only to find the absence of a shark. It was later revealed that the shark blood within the lava triggered the Shark Detector 3000s.

Addendum: Despite 97% of all involved personnel beliving that SPC-001 is unpunchable, the Administrator still has a plan. By 13-0 council vote, PROJECT OUR ULTIMATE PORPOISE is created, and is set to occur sometime in the near future.


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