A red shirt

Item #: SCP-8888-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-8888-J is impossible.

Description: SCP-8888-J is a pataphysical phenomenon currently exerting a significant influence on consensus reality. It has been determined that the effect of SCP-8888-J is limited to the macroscopic level; ie. human decision-making.

Addendum 8888-J-1: The following is a transcript of a conversation between Agents Byung-soon Pak and Nikolai Zielinski in the mess hall of Site-114.

BEGIN LOG 00:00:00

[00:00:03] Zielinski: Hey, what's good?

[00:00:05] Pak: Sup, bro?

[00:00:07] Zielinski: Damn, spaghetti again, eh? What do you think about that?

[00:00:13] Pak: I'm thinking I better get the wife to start making me lunch again.

[00:00:17] Laughter.

[00:00:21] Pak: Hey, man…

[00:00:25] Zielinski: What's the matter?

[00:00:30] Pak: Why are you wearing a red shirt?

[00:00:35] Zielinski: Uhh… I don't know. Because I felt like it?

[00:00:49] Pak: No one just feels like wearing red.

[00:00:55] Zielinski: I mean… I did, this morning.

[00:01:01] Pak: But you must have had a reason, right? People don't just wear red for no reason!

[00:01:08] Zielinksi: I… thought I looked good in red?

[00:01:13] Silence.

[00:01:15] Sound of scuffling, grunting, and plates crashing.

[00:01:19] Pak: I need some help over here! Agent Zielinski's compromised!

END LOG 00:01:23

From the events of this conversation, it has been confirmed that Agent Zielinski has been compromised by SCP-8888-J.

Addendum 8888-J-2: The commencement Operation ÓverMeta and the implementation of the Kuzco-Bueller method in extrapolating the source of SCP-8888-J has produced a 41-second-long audio file of what is presumably a communication channel between swn001 entities. Initially, only the voice of a single swn001 entity, designated swn001-1, is heard; however, it is later indicated that multiple swn001 entities are present, a conglomeration collectively designated as swn001-A.

BEGIN LOG 00:00:00

[00:00:02] swn001-1: Alright, what do we think Agent Zielinski's red shirt symbolizes? I think the author's trying to tell us something, what is he saying?

[00:00:08] Silence.

[00:00:13] swn001-1: He has a lust for violence simmering beneath his joyous exterior?

[00:00:17] Silence.

[00:00:21:] swn001-1: He is overcome with love for little miss Annie, the woman of his dreams?

[00:00:26:] Silence.

[00:00:29:] Sighing.

[00:00:31:] swn001-1: Did no one do the reading last night?

[00:00:33:] Silence.

[00:00:37] swn001-1: Alright, clear your desks!

[00:00:39] swn001-A: Screaming.

END LOG 00:00:41

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