The Epic Of Gamer Milk

AARK! AARK!

Garrett grumbled and moaned. He pulled his sheets over his ears to try and cancel out the blaring alarm, to no avail. After a couple minutes of wrestling his moist sheets, he sat up and looked at the clock.

4:13

He groaned. Two months ago, he'd been able to sleep until 1 in the afternoon on a comfortable bed in his mother's basement den. He didn't have everything, but he did have basic human rights: gaming equipment, junk food, his waifu - oh, how could they steal Mariko from him? He'd tried to explain how much he needed that body pillow, how much it helped him through those lonely Saturday nights, but his jailers' cruelty knew no bounds.

As for his food, he could barely refer to it as such. Every day, one of two meals: mystery meat or barfous beans. He'd been able to bribe the guards for a little bit, get himself some M&Ms and other, more edible food, before they decided to take action.

Nutraloaf. Garrett shuddered. He tried to keep the memories out of his head. At least he had a supply of energy drink whenever he needed it.

AARK! AARK! The alarm continued.

Garrett's cheeks shook in anger.

"Would you please SHUT-!"

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