SCP-XXXX-1 shortly before containment.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a group of anomalous objects. SCP-XXXX-1 is an intricately carved silver samovar1. It is designed in the Baroque style, with a rose-shaped steam vent and plant-like stands at the base. Inside SCP-XXXX-1 is a large human-heart, biologically alive by all standards other than having no host. It maintains a BPM (Beats per minute) of around 30bpm at room temperature and 70bpm when heated. The heart is irremovable: All attempts at doing so have failed. Testing has revealed the heart to be (old and from someone, idk it's not important)

SCP-XXXX-2 is a small box carved of bone2. SCP-XXXX-2 is completely unornamented save for a crudely carved Russian word on the lid: чай.3 The box contains a coarse black powder revealed by chemical testing to consist of tea (Russian Caravan Blend, Camellia sinensis), vitreous humor (Human), vitreous humor (Inhuman), salt, soil, iron powder and [LEVEL 4/XXXX CLEARANCE REQUIRED] Inhalation or consumption of the powder causes seizures, hallucinations, and cardiac arrest. Subjects often repeatedly shout a phrase4 before death. Any amount of removed powder is replaced when SCP-XXXX-2 is closed.

SCP-XXXX-3 is a teapot made of iron, inlaid with bone fragments and silver pieces. SCP-XXXX-3 is non-anomalous until it is used in conjunction with the other instances of SCP-XXXX. When powder from SCP-XXXX-2 is placed in SCP-XXXX-3 and subsequently SCP-XXXX-2 is put on top of SCP-XXXX-1 over a flame or heat source, a "FILL IN L8R YA DINGUS" event occurs.

During "FILL IN L8R YA DINGUS" events, a thick, oily, black substance (Hereby designated SCP-XXXX-A) is created in place of a zavarka.5 SCP-XXXX-A, when mixed with water becomes identical to tea except for two traits. A (strong acrid smell or taste/dark color) and an anomalous effect.

When consumed, SCP-XXXX-A makes the subjects (Designated SCP-XXXX-C) beliefs (religious, political, idealogical, etc.) identical to that of the person ( Designated SCP-XXXX-C) who brewed SCP-XXXX-A. Additionally, SCP-XXXX-C has limited psychic control over the actions of SCP-XXXX-B. SCP-XXXX-C does not need to guide SCP-XXXX-B entirely through a task; A conscious command is enough to compel an SCP-XXXX-B instance to complete a task.

SCP-XXXX belonged to Nicholas II of Russia, the last Emporer of Russia.

SIGNED .................. S
RESPONSIBLE PERSONNEL: Mikhail Dobronravov м.б.Д.
DETAIL: OSI "WITCH'S SAMOVAR" is the designation of three paranatural objects. These objects are:

  • An ornate silver samovar containing a human heart
  • A tin marked "Tea" containing an unidentified black powder, used in place of tea in the "CHERNOBOG" procedure.
  • An iron teapot adorned with bone and silver

Earlier this December, agents of the Psychotronics Division interrupted a transport from the capitalist business entity "Marshall, Carter and Dark," which has had a long-standing ban from the Soviet Union. All product being transported was seized.

One of the products taken was a collection of twenty eggs, which apparently had been collected from "SQUID ISPOLIN". Recovered documentation suggests that these eggs may be asexually hatched into new instances of "SQUID ISPOLIN".

Most notably, if an entity similar to "SQUID ISPOLIN" were to attack an American city, their only recourse for defending themselves would be to use a nuclear device upon themselves. If the Americans were forced to deploy a nuclear weapon against themselves, it would be truly devastating for morale, and would not be easily traced back to the Soviet Union.

Proposed uses:
(i) Information Aqusition - APPROVED - By using Tea, prisoners of interest could be coerced into revealing critical information. Additionally, immersion into large amounts of Tea could serve as a torture method.
(ii) Elimination of Internal Opposition - APPROVED - By administering Tea to vocal domestic critics and opponents of the Soviet Union, the opposition could be neutralized.
(iii) Political Sabotage - REJECTED - By administering Tea to foreign politicians, the Soviet Union could manipulate politics on a world scale. Could be traceable to Russian and sudden changes in policy and behavior in prominent individuals could be noticed.
(iv) Civilian-directed Propaganda (Large Scale) - PENDING - By introducing Tea into the water supply, the Soviet Union could manipulate the thoughts and beliefs of Russian Citizens. Potential military applications.

Samovar image:

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