FREE SELL YOUR SOUL ONLINE NO BULLSHIT
| Item #: SCP-4033 |
Level 2/4033 |
| Object Class: Keter |
Classified |
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawler ƟU-738 is set to search for any keywords related to SCP-4033 instances. When an instance of SCP-4033 has been located, Foundation IT technicians are to access the transactions list, then shut down the domain.
Following containment, a list of transactions associated with the current instance is to be drafted and sent to the Foundation legal department as soon as possible. If possible, contract ownership is to be immediately transferred to the groups or entities under which SCP-4033-1 impersonated upon the date of transaction. Entities listed in Document-4033-A are to be excluded from this procedure, and ownership must therefore transfer to the client.
Mobile Task Forces Theta-6 ("Witch Hunters") and Upsilon-52 ("Cater Duty") are to locate and detain SCP-4033 clients. Clients are to be released and amnesticized as soon as contractual ownership is transferred.
SCP-4033-1 is to be contained in a Type-B Density-Anomaly containment cell fitted with a scale. Sudden increases in weight are to be treated as a successful Faust Event.
Description: SCP-4033-1 appears to be an African-American male in his mid-40s named Donald Trevor Fortman; however, SCP-4033-1's identity is either undocumented or fabricated, and SCP-4033-1 itself has not been observed to age or sleep. SCP-4033-1 is 170 cm tall and as of 11/02/2019 weighs 768 kg, much of which is the result of its anomalous abilities.
SCP-4033-1 is freely capable of creating and maintaining a single instance of SCP-4033 at any one time.
Instances of SCP-4033 take the form of websites that offer goods and services in exchange for an individual's soul.
Come on, do it! Welcome to Sell Your Soul To Satan, Online! One of the most delightful facets of the Data Highway known as the World Wide Web is it's commercial aspect, which allows consumers and vendors to easily link up in cyberspace to form transactions. Previously, selling one's soul to the Devil has been a ridiculously inconvenient process. Now, with online vending, we are able to swiftly provide premium services to that lucky mortal seeking diabolic servitude. Today, we are able to provide more for less, due to the ingenious designs of our infernal president and CEO, Satan himself.
Satan, being somewhat of an expert in all of the reasonably well known vices, and well versed in the generalities of the more obscure ones, can provide your strangest fantasies at your merest whim. Nevertheless, tradition being what it is, one must legally bind themself to Satan before the downpour of goods begins. Over the years, a fairly straightforward (read: no fine print!) introductory pact has been developed to get one going down the road to happiness, fulfillment and eternal damnation. Let's go to that page, right now.
SCP-4033 also features a link to a "standard introductory pact", clicking the link opens a new tab, but this site features neither URL nor IP address. The new site features of a shorter text and a questionnaire, this site once again has the same memetic effects as the original site.
I relinquish the ownership of my immortal soul into the keeping of Satan, the Master of Evil Demons, Commander of all Ungodly Forces and Unclean Spirits, Inventor of the Sin, Eater of Dreams, and Chief Torturer of all dead Heathens and Damned Sous. […] I fully understand the consequences of the signing of this most unholy pact; I proceed willfully, cognizant of my coming privileges and debts. I furthermore promise to fulfill my debt punctually and without resistance, nor will I pray nor plead for my soul in any way, nor attempt to have others plead in my behalf. I confirm this in this covenant more tightly knit than the bonds of life and death. May the Prince of Darkness take pleasure in my gift and my betrayal, and use such to spread his reign further throughout the phenomenal world.
Following the text is the questionnaire, as well as a button saying "Sign Pact".
The questionnaire consists of 5 questions
1. Legal Name
2. Street Address
3. Deepest Desire
4. Recent Former Affiliation
5. Favorite Sin
Further testing with SCP-4033-3, a USB Drive containing an offline version of SCP-4033, confirmed that after signing the pact, the individual, now designated SCP-4033-1, report that they feel incredibly light, "as though a weight had been lifted off of them", further testing concluded that individuals lose approximately 21 grams (3/4 of an ounce) after signing SCP-4033. The wish they expressed is also instantly fulfilled. Psychological screenings of SCP-4033-1 instances determined that they're incapable of processing complex emotions, MRT screenings however do not show any difference of neurological activity in the anterior cingulate cortex Further interviewing and testing of SCP-4033-1 instances also showed increased levels of aggressions to people who are openly of Abrahamic faith.
Addendum:
Incident Number: 4033-██/██/██07:
Description: 4033-██/██/██07 is the first recorded instance of SCP-4033, SCP Agents were alerted to anomalous events in a suburban neighborhood of ██████, Ohio. Further Investigations led to the discovery of SCP-4033-1-1, a 32 year old caucasian male who was on fire at the time of discovery, originally thought to be the sole cause of the anomaly, questioning of SCP-4033-1-1 prompted the discovery of SCP-4033
Questionnaire Answers: 1. [REDACTED] 2. [REDACTED] 3. I wanna be hot 4. Catholic 5. Lust
Notes: SCP-4033-1-1 seemed to have no qualms with their situation. Following a short period of convincing, SCP-4033 willingly allowed itself to be contained, and is now secured in Site-06-03
Domain: www.███████████.biz/legal/███
Incident Number: Incident 4033-██/██/██09
Description: Web-crawler TTX4527 “Soothsayer” located a website fitting the criteria of SCP-4033, no prior access to this website was determined.
Questionnaire Answers: N/A
Notes: N/A
Domain: www.███████████.org/help/███
Incident Number: Incident 4033-██/██/██12-1
Description: Web-crawler TTX4527 “Soothsayer” located a website fitting the criteria of SCP-4033, prior access was confirmed in ████, Vietnam. MTF Phi-7 "Buffy" was dispatched to contain any SCP-4033-1 instances. SCP-4033-1-2 was a 14 year old vietnamese female. Individual was discovered within the public library of ██████, ripping apart various religious texts with their bare hands. SCP-4033-1-2 showed extreme aggression to MTF Phi-7. SCP-4033-1-2 was deemed impossible to contain, and was terminated.
Questionnaire Answers: 1. [REDACTED] 2. [REDACTED] 3. I want to be strong enough to stop my father 4. Other 5. Wrath
Notes: Class-A amnestics were administered to all witnesses. Destroyed books were replaced.
Domain: www.███████████.dk/karriere/███
Incident Number: Incident 4033-██/██/██12-2
Description: [REDACTED]
Questionnaire Answers: [REDACTED]
Notes: Access to Incident Report 4033-██/██/██12-2 requires Level 3 Clearance
Domain: [REDACTED]
Incident Number: Incident 4033-██/██/██15
Description: Web-crawler TTX4527 “Soothsayer” located a website fitting the criteria of SCP-4033, prior access was confirmed in ████, Germany. MTF Phi-7 "Buffy" was dispatched to contain any SCP-403312 instances. SCP-4033-1-4 was a 17 year old turkish female who was found sitting in her bedroom in ████ aggressively disposing of islamic objects of faith. SCP-4033-1-4 showed no aggression toward MTF Phi-7 and was successfully contained.
Questionnaire Answers: 1.[REDACTED] 2.[REDACTED] 3. I want to be able to eat without gaining weight 4. Muslim 5. Envy
Notes: SCP-4033-1-4 died of malnutrition in containment on ██/██/██15, although they were being fed both normally as well as via parenteral nutrition.
Domain: www.███████████.gov/infrastructure/███
WARNING, ATTEMPTED ACCESS DETECTED. SCANNING FOR PROPER CREDENTIALS.
…
CREDENTIALS RECOGNIZED. LEVEL 3 CLEARANCE GRANTED.
Date: ██/██/██12
Location: Electronic Research Site 07
Description: Foundation IT Technician Dr. B█████ was tasked with shutting down www.███████████.dk/karriere/███, the domain mentioned in 4033-██/██/██12-1, Dr. B█████ however accessed SCP-4033 themselves, and filled out the questionnaire. The answers are as follows:
1. F████ B█████
2. [REDACTED]
3. [REDACTED]
4. Protestant
5. Pride
After "signing the pact" Dr B█████, now SCP-4033-1-3, caused a security breach. On-site security managed to subdue SCP-4033-1-3 and contain them, further investigation led to the discovery of SCP-4033-3 in SCP-4033-1-3's former cubicle, a flash drive containing an offline-copy of SCP-4033 as well as a .txt file named "With kindest regards".
The copy of SCP-4033 is proven to have same anomalous effects as the online version, and are being used for testing purposes.
Following is the entirety of "With kindest regards.txt"
I think we will be great business Partners.
Signed,
Satan, the Master of Evil Demons, Commander of all Ungodly Forces and Unclean Spirits, Inventor of the Sin, Eater of Dreams, and Chief Torturer of all dead Heathens and Damned Souls.
This is a rewrite of 
Calimitation's old ass piece
