Weryllium Tales 2

Credit to AbsentmindedNihilist for the pun.

during the SCP-3057-4 termination mission

The four members of MTF-Phi-2 stood in the humid Pennsylvania wetlands, facing a pack of multicolored, angry Velociraptors.

Ursula took a moment to reload while her friends provided covering fire. "Hey, so, if these things came from oil, why can't we just light them on fire?"

Stella perforated another Velociraptor with a well-timed burst. "It's like you didn't even read the file. They transmuted from oil, straight to flesh and bone."

Ursula wiped her forehead. "I was kidding, Stell. Now-"

Raquel's seldom-heard voice rang out. "IZQUIERDA, URSULA!"

Ursula turned to her left a split second too late. The green-and-gray-streaked Velociraptor leapt up to her face, its feathers flaring. Angie ran over to help her out, and the unstable ground collapsed under both of their feet as they tumbled down.

The small dinosaur attempted to strike at Ursula's neck as they fell, but her armor kept the deadly claws from tearing apart her respiratory system. Ursula managed to maneuver herself enough to crush the Velociraptor as they rolled down the incline. When she finally reached the bottom she looked over at the crumpled body of the reptile, still twitching.

It looked pretty pathetic; its feet were still vainly wiggling, trying to slash at someone far out of its reach; and it opened its mouth to call for the others but no sound came. Ursula scoffed. She saw her gun lying about 15 meters away, but there was no urgent need to grab it yet. She walked over to the Velociraptor, bent down and gripped its neck tightly with her right hand. This'd probably be a good time for a one-liner.

Ursula paused and rubbed her forehead.

Dammit, I got nothing.

The Velociraptor whimpered, almost mockingly, and weakly attempted to scratch Ursula's armored wrist with its foot claw.

Ursula spit on it. "Uh… Looks like you just went… neck-stinct?"

Wow that was awful. It'll have to do. Ursula squeezed hard, crushing the reptile's windpipe and vertebrae, and dropped it unceremoniously.

A voice called out from behind her. "The hell are you talking to?" Angie appeared, and handed Ursula her gun that had fallen away. "That was terrible, even for you."

"Shut up." Ursula bent down and plucked a fistful of feathers from the dead Velociraptor. She turned to Angie and traded the feathers for her gun. "You try coming up with a one-liner after falling 50 feet down a hillside."

Angie carefully put the feathers in her belt pouch, then cocked her head. "I fell down the exact same hillside you did!"

"Fine. Then let's hear you come up with a better one."

Angie narrowed her eyes, and shot back without missing a beat:

"I've got you raptor round my little finger."


Stella grunted and kicked a Velociraptor into a tree. It didn't have enough time to react from the impact before Raquel put four bullets into it.

"That's the last of 'em."

Raquel remained poised. "This particular pack, si. Reports said "several dozen". We have only neutralized seventeen."

Stella reloaded. "Eighteen. No way Ursula didn't kill the one that jumped her."

Raquel nodded. "Claro. But we are nowhere close to finished, and now we're separated. On top of this, they're not answering comms."

Stella kicked a rock. "Well, shit. But they can handle themselves. We proceed to the rendezvous point, as planned."

Ursula paced. "So, to recap. There's only two of us now, for all intents and purposes. Both of our rifles are broken. We've got bruises in places I didn't even want to know were possible to bruise. So, uh, regular Friday for us."

Angie inspected the broken gun. She held onto it, knowing that Ursula would still manage to kill raptors with it whether it actually fired or not. "OK, so what's the plan?"

Ursula held up a hand. "Shhhhhh. You hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Gunshots. Which means Stella and Raquel are probably finishing off that pack." Ursula yanked the broken earpiece out of her ear and let it dangle. "Check your comm."

Angie pressed her finger to her earpiece. "Mine's broken too," she said softly.

Ursula threw her head back. "Of fucking course it is. Just once, I'd like a nice, straightforward mission where everything goes right and the goddamn reptiles line up in neat little rows. Is that so much to ask?"

Angie paused. "What about-"

"Raquel and Stella can handle themselves," Ursula snapped. "But you know raptors. Only a matter of time before the pack splits to try to find us." She took a moment to crack her knuckles, for what was probably the fourth time that day. "So. Inventory check, then we make our way back up there and meet the other half."

Angie nodded silently.

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