Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Stuff

Good Job, Guys!

This is All Kind of Confusing

When you get into the world of the Unusual, it all gets very confusing, because there's a "multiverse", whatever that means. Well, Wilson's Wildlife Solutions isn't the same across all timelines or universes, as one might imagine, but this here Tim Wilson remembers things a very specific way, and so he'd like to give you a rundown on how things are here in his Wilson's Wildlife Solutions.

So here's all the people I know and how I know them, and how all these events went down, the glad and the sad and the happy and the bad alike. Take it as you will.

Supervisor Relationship

The Supervisor Site-64

Where we report back to. Will write this at a later date~!

The Castaways

The guys who follow us around! I will get to this later as well~!

Cast of Characters

Employees in Alphabetical Order

Tim Wilson
The founder of Wilson's Wildlife Solutions himself, it's yours truly! You've heard enough about me, though. I shan't take the spotlight away from those that truly deserve it.

Faeowynn Wilson
Tim's only daughter — though she hasn't always been — and the second runner of Wilson's Wildlife Solutions. She took up the job in Tim's absence, somewhere around 2024. Before then she was a great help already, it was natural for her to take the helm. Great with numbers, good with people.

Dr. Sylvester Baptise

Marie-Sophie Baptise

Bandit "B.B." Baptise

Nandini Chandra
Dr. Nandini Chandra's life was relatively simple before she was brought on by Tim as the head of the Veterinary Department. She used to work at the Oregon Zoo in Portland, helping out whichever animals needed a hand when they needed it. Though she knows her work is stressful, she always manages to find a bit of time to read a noir novel. She's quite fond of the work she does now with these strange and unusual animals; it's as if she's part of a mystery herself!

Feather Fanucchi
Regular field worker and critter catcher. Writer of action reports and eater of baked goods, Feather's known for her quick thinking and alliterative name! She and Chickadee really helped suss out that fast food crow scare, too.

Sarah Gardner
Afraid of birds, but loves our little six-legged and eight-legged and no-legged friends. Bugs and Sarah go hand in hand like Wilson and wildlife! Our local entomologist and arachnologist, she's known for her relationship with the friendipedes and her need to be shielded from a certain fast food joint.

Gary Harp
Gary holds one of the most important jobs around here… being the phone guy. Incoming calls? Gary handles it. A business having to be called? Gary handles it. Any phone call related business that isn't on a personal level, Gary handles. Gary's busiest week must have been the fast food crow attacks, but he's been having at least one thing to do every day fairly consistently. Thank you Gary! Also, brother of Chickadee.

Justin "Chickadee" Harp
Birdwatcher and bird enthusiast, Chickadee is one of our most frequent volunteers. He never has to be here, but he's always happy to! Lets him visit his brother Gary pretty often, so it works out for everyone. He often tags along with most things we stick him to, but his biggest assignment was probably going and getting those crows under control with Feather.

Karl Heller
Genghis's handler.

Michael Henson
Ringo's former handler.

Laura Irvin
Caddy's handler.

Kim Madison

Peggy Marquez

Alex Molina
Alex is really handy to have around, especially since he knows so much about phones and computers and such. This young man has a lot of love for his friends and coworkers and is currently spearheading the recovery program of a very special critter. This might not matter too much, but I'd also like to let it be known that Alex has one fine mustache.

Roger Olivera
Roger is a mighty fine volunteer with a lot of gumption and heart, but his busy schedule keeps him restricted to feeding times. He doesn't seem to mind it too much and has even taken a liking to some of the critters. He doesn't get along too well with Maya, though.

Frank Richardson

Daniel Stanford
At the time I'm writing this, Daniel is one of our newest volunteers. Having just moved to Boring from out east, he's a little naive about the going ons! But this hasn't stopped him from trying his hardest to help out, even if it sometimes makes things worse. Daniel's first critter wrangling assignment was a success, but also caused a series of Unusual events to occur.

Albert Westrin
Old Al is one of the oldest volunteers, both in age and seniority. He doesn't have any degrees or any real expertise, but he's just really dang good with the critters, and that's all we can ask for sometimes. He's also a tough old nut! Old Al's beaten Cancer twice and he's not letting Arthritis slow his volunteer work down. We look forward to having him with us for so long as he's able to.


Castaways in Alphabetical Order

And this.

Miscellaneous Actors in Alphabetical Order

Dr. Susan May
Alice Wilson
Anders Wilson
Robin Wilson
Audrey Özdemir

Additional Lore / Information

Terminology / Unusuality Scale

Supervisors: Who others may know as the SCP Foundation. We call them the Supervisors because that's what they do for us. They supervise. Until the Boring Agreement was drafted and signed, they were very secretive about their name and function, so we had to have something to call them until then. Supervisors stuck.

Actors: In any story, there are Actors. When we tell stories, usually through documentation, we call everyone involved Actors, and say who they are and what their role was. We needed some uniform name for everyone that wasn't "agents" and "civilians", because that felt too heavy.

Enclosure: Anywhere we keep animals is an enclosure, no matter what it is. We have "enclosures" which aren't even enclosed, like the area we try and keep Caddy confined to!

Unusuality: Before the Supervisors told us of their way of classifying things, we just called all the weird things we encountered unusualities. We then had our unusuality scale, which was a fairly subjective offhand representation of just how weird we thought the thing we were encountering was. The scale, from least unusual to most unusual, is below:

Barely Unusual Slightly Unusual Straight Unusual Pretty Unusual Very Unusual

Formats / Document Types

First, something about all our documents. Most of them are contained on paper, because we like having physical copies of things. These ones are pretty barebones — white with black text, devoid of most of our signature colors and formats. We actually only started keeping anything online when the Supervisors allotted us a corner of what they call SCiPnet to use. It's supposedly all secret, and it lets them feel safe 'cause they're able to look at all we have going on! It's honestly very handy, and that's when we felt we wanted something nicer looking than black and white, so we gave our documents an imbuing of our signature mint greens and browns. Thank you, Supervisors!

Critter Profile: A little summary of information we have on any given critter in our care, unusual or not! They tell us the names of the critters, their diets, their unusual and usual properties, and a bit of their history both in and out of our care!

Action Report: We used this in our encounter with the Fast Food Crows. It basically outlines a situation and then how we reacted. If people ask "what happened when blank", and it was a fairly important thing, we can either explain verbally or we can fish up the action report that likely exists for such a scenario. We keep most of them for posterity.

Correspondences: When we feel it necessary, we record some interactions between people. Often we don't feel it necessary, and instead the Supervisors do, but it's not that hard to record email chains or transcribe phone calls, so there's not much to complain about. Plus, we get it. They want to know what's going on.

Oh, and also, this is not an extensive list. We make document types when necessary, and we have some formats we just don't use very often.

Timeline of Important Events

In chronological order:

  • 02/29/1956 | Tim Wilson is born in San Diego, California
  • 10/24/1977 | Tim Wilson marries Audrey Fuchs at age 21
  • XX/XX/1978 | Felix Wilson is born to Audrey Fuchs
  • XX/XX/1981 | Tim Wilson divorces Audrey Fuchs
  • XX/XX/1981 | Tim Wilson moves to Boring, Oregon at age 25
  • XX/XX/1984 | Anders Wilson is born to Alice Özdemir
  • 02/14/1984 | Tim Wilson marries Alice Özdemir (now Alice Wilson)
  • 11/08/1986 | Robin Wilson is born to Alice Wilson
  • 01/20/1997 | The predecessor to Wilson's Wildlife Solutions, Wilson's Wildlife Shelter, is founded
  • 11/08/1997 | Wilson's Wildlife Solutions is founded
  • 06/21/2008 | The Ursus Maritimus Incident prompts the creation of the Boring Agreement, signed on this day
  • […]
  • 07/12/2024 | Tim Wilson dies of a heart attack

Now, see, I don't rightly remember anything past this… I guess that's what happens when you die, right? But, here it all is! My legacy!

Well, that just doesn't seem right. I can't tell you all there is to know about Wilson's if I don't know it. If I'm dead, there has to be someone to tell this better than me. Let's see… Audrey…? No, err, my dear Alice? Ah, she's sweet, but she's as old as I am. No, I need someone young, someone involved, someone to carry the torch in my absence.

Ah, ah yes. I know.

Felix — no, Faeowynn, she can tell this story. Listen to her well, she's never been very good at summarizing things. You're just going to have to hear her out.

Take It Away, My Darling

Book 1: Stories My Dad Told Me

Chapter 1: A Light is Born
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7: The Beginnings of Love
Chapter 8: Save Your Money
Chapter 9:
Chapter 10:
Chapter 11:
Chapter 12: That Rainy Day
Chapter 13:
Chapter 14:
Chapter 15: You've Scratched That Itch
Chapter 16: Friends & Family

Book 2: Stories I Tell Myself

Chapter 1: A Light is Passed
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7:
Chapter 8:
Chapter 9:
Chapter 10:
Chapter 11:
Chapter 12:
Chapter 13:
Chapter 14:
Chapter 15:
Chapter 16:

Book 3: Stories I'll Tell My Kids

Chapter 1: A Light is Alive
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7:
Chapter 8:
Chapter 9:
Chapter 10:
Chapter 11:
Chapter 12:
Chapter 13:
Chapter 14:
Chapter 15: I Love You, Dad
Chapter 16: I Love You All

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