Worship in the Digital Age
Item#: 0000
Level3
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
ekhi
Risk Class:
warning

eris

The logo of SCP-XXXX.

Special Containment Procedures: Direct interference with SCP-XXXX has been deemed infeasible at this time. The Foundation is to promote the use of alternative internet chatrooms and other messenger apps, such as IRC (Internet Relay Chat), in order to divert supply from SCP-XXXX. Usage of SCP-XXXX is banned for all Foundation employees.

Neutralization procedures for SCP-XXXX-1 are currently under consideration.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the collective designation for Discord servers, a popular web and mobile chatroom application that specializes in communication via text, audio and video channels.

An examination of the application's coding has revealed anomalous segments designed to siphon away Elan Vital Energy (or EVE particles) from users, with matching antimemetic coding designed to disguise itself. While no particular dangers have been linked to long term usage, more testing is required.

SCP-XXXX-1 is Jason Citron, the founder of Hammer and Chisel.1 SCP-XXXX-1 visually appears to be a non-anomalous Caucasian human male; however, aetheric examination reveals that SCP-XXXX-1 is in fact a Class-IX emotokinetic2 entity.

SCP-XXXX-1 is assumed to have replaced the actual Jason Citron sometime in early 2014, based upon accounts of sudden personality changes by colleagues.

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-1

Interviewer: Agent Moines

Foreword: On 20/02/2019, representatives of Discord contacted Spicy Crust Pizzeria (a Foundation front), stating that their founder was interested in a meeting with a representative of the store's "parent company."

<Begin Log>

SCP-XXXX-1: Moines, right? Glad you could make it. Can I get you a cup? Or water, or something? Kombucha? Heard that's popular with you millennials or whatever.

Moines: Thank you, but I'm fine.

SCP-XXXX-1: Alright, straight to business. Very professional. Guess I should expect that from you Men in Black copycats.

Moines: So you're familiar with our organization, then.

SCP-XXXX-1: Wasn't at first, mind you. But then you guys started sniffing around. I made a few calls, talked to a few buddies of mine, dug up enough info on you guys. I'm assuming it's about the servers, right? Ask away.

Moines: Precisely. Can you explain the purpose of the anomalous aspects we've uncovered? It seems to take away Elan Vital Energy from its users and send it somewhere else.

SCP-XXXX-1: Well- You know what, let me backpedal for a moment. It's about faith, really. Back in the days, there was always enough to go around. Whenever we were feeling kinda hungy, me and my pals would ride up in a chariot, make a few mortals kill each other, then they'd pray for us to go away. But these days- Jesus. Hell, most of you guys don't even believe in him anymore. Blow up a volcano, send a few earthquakes, just call them natural disasters. It's insulting really.

Moines: Don't you have your own religion?

SCP-XXXX-1: Ugh, don't even get me started on those guys. They wouldn't know what faith is if it bit them in the ass. Anyways, my point is, there's two components to faith: actual acknowledgement of you, not a puppet or a prophet or whatever; and a sincerely held devotion to the object of prayer. Love or fear or hate, whatever, you take what you get. But how much people do you think actually worship the gods anymore? Take a guess.

Moines: A few thousand?

SCP-XXXX-1: At best. And that's mostly hippies playing make-believe, definitely not enough to sustain me. So I turned to Elan Vital Energy. It's not as nourishing as actual belief, but it does the trick. Same kinda energy you'd get from slaughtering a lamb at a temple. Not that anyone ever built me any…

Moines: So you collect EVE particles from millions of users through the app, it's sent to the servers, and then…?

SCP-XXXX-1: Don't wanna bore you with all the technical processes, but yes, it's fed directly to me. The energy of about 14 million daily users. Even when you account for purity and strength, it's still way more than I ever got.

Moines: I see. And what's the end goal of this process?

SCP-XXXX-1: Not sure yet. Gain enough power to turn Typhoon into a dust mite, maybe kill that bitch Bellona who's always stealing my thunder, kill the rest of the pantheon, and then… I don't know. Take over the world? I'll think of something. Yeah. Anything else I can help you with?

Moines: No, I think that's it. You've been very helpful, I- Actually, just one thing. Why have you been so open with us? Most investigatory targets usually aren't this helpful, in my experience.

SCP-XXXX-1: Well, you guys seem nice. Least I could do, right?

Moines: Oh, um… okay. Is there any chance I could convince you to not take over the world?

SCP-XXX-1: Hmm.

SCP-XXXX-1 takes a sip of coffee.

SCP-XXXX-1: Nah, probably not. And considering I'm a goddess, it'd probably be a bad idea to try and get me angry by, say, dropping a nuke on me. Wouldn't do much.

Moines: Oh.

SCP-XXXX-1: Yeah. So… need anything else? Need your parking validated or something?3

Moines: I should be fine. It's been a pleasure, I suppose.

SCP-XXXX-1: Likewise. Hey, you know what? Here's my business card, call anytime.

<End Log>

A copy of the business card has been replicated below.

discordia

Calls to the number provided have not resulted in SCP-XXXX-1 changing its desire to enact a HK-class Deific Subjugation Scenario.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License